When It Rained

When It Rained

13.7K Reads 281 Votes 19 Part Story
Rhiana (Rhi) By ShurikenPheonix Completed

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to truly bring people together. When Freya Anderson moves to Cincinnati with her father, she meets Chesmu; a reserved young man with an abundance of secrets..Will opposites attract or will things go horribly wrong for these two unlikely friends?

lovereading411 lovereading411 Apr 29, 2012
Really good start, it kept me interested, I'm going to read the next chapter (:
                              Voted.
TigerBee TigerBee Apr 29, 2012
Nice protagonist details, but you could lengthen it up a wee bit more. 
                              Throw in some details, and balance it out.
                              
                              GOOD JOB! PS - Don't write numbers below hundred in numerals.
maiagujo maiagujo Apr 27, 2012
very nice prologue :D very well written :) really liked how you're starting to portray the main character. didn't spot any errors. (plus for me). keep it up! :) voted!
IheartScar IheartScar Apr 22, 2012
I like the fact you have some detail and description but not to much for were the reader gets bored. The idea of the story seems pretty interesting so far.
dulce995girl dulce995girl Apr 22, 2012
I just love reading teen fiction/romance stories.. there are the best..
writtenwithwords writtenwithwords Apr 22, 2012
i love her name! :D also, i love the way you started off! definitely hooked me in <3 great job with the beginning :)