A Winter's Tale

A Winter's Tale

305K Reads 13.4K Votes 25 Part Story
Erica Turner By EricaTurner4 Completed

Emery De Bulgaria is a young, English heiress. Having lived her entire life at King James's court, Emery is completely ready for any marriage that could be thrown at her. Until King James told her just what he had in mind for her. Emery was to marry the Count of Dubois. A savage, unkind man that was only known for the rumors about him. He had never taken a wife, and Emery could certainly see why. Glum, and groomed Emery goes uncertainly to her dismal fate.                              Kane Dubois was pleased with the rumors that swirled about him in the courts. Darkly mysterious, no one truly knew who Kane was. He was unkind, and savage, but life had proven unkind, and savage was the way to survive. At least, that's how he thought until he met the raven haired, golden skinned, beauty destined to be his wife. Angry, and aroused Kane goes with uncertainly to his not so dismal future.

Avianca505 Avianca505 Jun 28
How are Maria and Stephen related to her? Previously, you mentioned her parents but said her mother died of a fever just after Emery was born and her father was taken captive by the enemy.
Separating it into paragraphs and more-narrative-like ( like how emery feels and saying it herself) would be better... And what is her relationship with the king? Is he a father or an elder brother or an instructor to her?
At the beginning it stated her mother died of a fever, her father taken and at the end it states they just vanished?
tastymicrochips tastymicrochips Dec 03, 2015
Not to be a grammar nazi here, maybe you should start a new paragraph when each new person talks, just so it looks less like a huge paragraph. It will add length, too. But otherwise, perfect :).
jenna100100 jenna100100 Oct 23, 2015
I love this! Maybe some more paragraphs so things can be a little more distinct?
SandraLake SandraLake Jun 06, 2015
Interesting, I want to read more, but a little formatting reno could really help your story to shine.