My Kind Of Friend

My Kind Of Friend

497 Reads 70 Votes 10 Part Story
Molly515 By Molly515 Updated Jun 02

Ivory had always been a loner. She was never  good at magic as the others and comes from Aphava, also known as poop land. But what happens when tables turn at her school when the headmistress invites humans to study alongside the magical beings, a concept that neither human or magical being ever thought of happening? 

Ivory has never heard of confidence, bravery or friendship before she met Zack. But she'll be forced to learn these things as she and Zack tackle a mystery of kidnapping demons and lost sirens.

An enchanting story that follows Ivory growing to be the best version of herself.

A breathtaking story that follows Zack learning his true worth.

An exquisite story of two worlds clashing together and impossible friendships forming along the way.

It is true what they say, your heart has enough space for everything and everyone.


Cover by @mauvebubbles

  • adventure
  • bbc2017
  • bullying
  • fantasy
  • featured
  • ivory
  • kingdom
  • kingdoms
  • love
  • magic
  • newfriends
  • outcast
  • preteen
  • prince
  • princess
  • school
  • strong
  • thegoldenawards
  • thesunsetawards
  • undiscoveredwonder
  • wattys2018
KathrynLauren KathrynLauren Oct 09, 2017
This really could be one sentence, ‘Why the excitement you ask?’ Although in reality you could do without it .. :)
feathers-andflames feathers-andflames Sep 06, 2017
With dialogue, remember to punctuate the end of the sentence, inside the quotations. Also, when someone new starts speaking, a new paragraph is started.
                              
                              Again, you use Apahava four times in three sentences. Refrain from using them in such close proximity to one another.
feathers-andflames feathers-andflames Sep 06, 2017
I would recommend writing out the numbers and don't forget about punctuation around the dialogue. Otherwise your sentence seems to run together. example... loudly say, "Have any of you ever heard of respect and niceness?..." The comma is necessary before say.
AujaStone AujaStone Nov 03, 2017
Um..  OK in all honesty, this paragraph seriously confuses me... I think the confusion is because of repetition. It seems as if the character is really excitable, or maybe its author intrusion. Try to use a variety of words.
KathrynLauren KathrynLauren Oct 09, 2017
You have ‘celebrate’ ‘celebration’ and ‘Helion’ multiple times throughout this passage. You’ve already established that they’re going to the celebration of Helion so perhaps switching it around a bit may clear some of the word echoes.
KathrynLauren KathrynLauren Oct 09, 2017
Perhaps you could change this word to them to avoid using ‘everyone’ twice in the same sentence. :)