Of The Line Of Estelondo: Percival's Tale.

Of The Line Of Estelondo: Percival's Tale.

970 Reads 91 Votes 20 Part Story
Isaiah Le Istya By IsaiahLeIstya Updated Nov 06, 2018

During the years of Darkness, a half-elven male named Gary Gygax usurped the throne, and killed off the entire royal family of Meneltarma, except the four youngest, who escaped.

Now, the four siblings, The heirs of Elven Royals, wander around the Land of Aponar and Quendelië in an attempt to reclaim the throne of Meneltarma and return to their Homeland.

In this not-at-all-long-awaited partial-Sequel to the Chronicles of SaironelloIstya, witness heartbreak, depravity, hopelessness, immorality, death, and vengeance, as Percival and his siblings strive to survive against a foe with superior wealth, standing, and resources

  • darkfantasy
  • dragons
  • dungeons
  • elvish
  • highfantasy
  • nameshavemeaning
  • platonic
  • relationships
  • saironelloistya
  • siblings
  • tolkien
  • usurper
KellyJBurke KellyJBurke Sep 12, 2018
For some reason, the language used here seems out of place with the diction of the rest of the chapter. It has less of that epic feel and is rather specific and almost modern. I think a slight rewording would make it flow and help with continuity and consistency.
EvelynHail EvelynHail Sep 10, 2018
Is this your specific expression of telling time? What does it mean?
EvelynHail EvelynHail Sep 10, 2018
Perhaps you can consider representing parts of the story through a show don’t tell method or through a dialogue unless you were going for the silmarillionesque chronicle style.
EvelynHail EvelynHail Sep 10, 2018
Such a sad and poetic way to represent death at birth. You certainly have a gift for mimicking solemn tones.
RLM915 RLM915 Sep 11, 2018
I like that you differentiate the characters by adding small details, that Saironellotoron II had a temper for instance. Definitely makes this story more relatable and alive!
RLM915 RLM915 Sep 11, 2018
Seems strange that after they’ve lived so long she would die from something as simple as childbirth! It’s always dangerous no matter who you are, isn’t it?