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Pen Your Pride
The Mystery Singer ✔

The Mystery Singer ✔

253K Reads 9.2K Votes 38 Part Story
M o n a By prettysmiles1999 Completed

TEXT COPYRIGHT © M. A.™ 2014

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I swallow hard. I look over at Raymond and Jared, who are staring at me like I'm a monster. I take my hood off from over my head. We lock eyes. "What's your name?" They ask me this, picking up their tape recorder and preparing themselves.

"You can... You can call me Mystery Singer, because I don't have a name."

  • love
  • scared
  • secret
  • self-conscious
  • teen
  • trust
Mufasa27 Mufasa27 Aug 10, 2017
Be more specific here maybe put ' Were gonna be late for Professor Kenneth's class'~ if they're in college, and if there in high school maybe say," Well be late for Mrs. Hannigans class' and maybe mention how much someone hates highschool, so the setting more clear for readers
Mufasa27 Mufasa27 Aug 10, 2017
Maybe here describe like I quickly showered and dressed before grabbing my lunch and wishing so and so a good day. Put more description
I'd like to say this.... you spelled mike but it's correctly spelled mic
Mufasa27 Mufasa27 Aug 10, 2017
Maybe try introducing who Lucy is to the character. Like is she her sister, foster sister, friend, roommate.
Mufasa27 Mufasa27 Aug 10, 2017
Maybe put a line to divide the two paragraphs to pet readers know that the setting and topic has changed. Great book so far!!!
alone-in-my-thoughts alone-in-my-thoughts Mar 30, 2016
Um, how can she stop it. It's the brain which SUBCONSCIOUSLY does that. Key word, subconsciously. That means you have no control.