The Elemental Power

6 Part Story 716 Reads 22 Votes
DavidCairns By DavidCairns Updated 3 years ago
What happen's when the power of the elements can be controlled?
This is great! You've definitely improved the writing already; it's much easier to understand and much more effective! :D
                                    
                                    There are a couple of grammatical tics within the dialogue, like when to put in new lines and use capital letters and stuff, that make it a little bit confusing there, but overall, this is coming along really well! I like the way you manage the transition between back-story and action.
                                    
                                    Keep going; I'm staying tuned lol :)
This is great! You've definitely improved the writing already; it's much easier to understand and much more effective! :D
                                    
                                    There are a couple of grammatical tics within the dialogue, like when to put in new lines and use capital letters and stuff, that make it a little bit confusing there, but overall, this is coming along really well! I like the way you manage the transition between back-story and action.
                                    
                                    Keep going; I'm staying tuned lol :)
This is great! You've definitely improved the writing already; it's much easier to understand and much more effective! :D
                                    
                                    There are a couple of grammatical tics within the dialogue, like when to put in new lines and use capital letters and stuff, that make it a little bit confusing there, but overall, this is coming along really well! I like the way you manage the transition between back-story and action.
                                    
                                    Keep going; I'm staying tuned lol :)
This is great! You've definitely improved the writing already; it's much easier to understand and much more effective! :D
                                    
                                    There are a couple of grammatical tics within the dialogue, like when to put in new lines and use capital letters and stuff, that make it a little bit confusing there, but overall, this is coming along really well! I like the way you manage the transition between back-story and action.
                                    
                                    Keep going; I'm staying tuned lol :)