The Elemental Power

The Elemental Power

6 Part Story 735 Reads 22 Votes
DavidCairns By DavidCairns Updated Sep 07, 2012 06:37PM

What happen's when the power of the elements can be controlled?

ToxicRoses ToxicRoses Apr 13, 2012 10:44PM
I thought it was really interesting:) u had a few errors with the "i's" and a couple in the third paragraph but other than that I can't wait till u post more:)
33AndOut 33AndOut Apr 13, 2012 03:23PM
@DavidCairns sure thing! :) just a moment and I'll pm you my email address so you can send it :)
DavidCairns DavidCairns Apr 13, 2012 03:07PM
@RobotsWillCry i would be happy if you would be so kind as to edit it for me :D
WandoWande WandoWande Apr 02, 2012 01:14AM
yeah, you need to work on punctuation.  It reads really scrambled. Also you tend to be repetitive.  Just a bit more editing.  Also use shorter sentences.  Anyway, you have an orphan.  What is the problem he is facing?