Beila (1812)

Beila (1812)

2 Part Story 74 Reads 6 Votes
SleepyZombie33 By SleepyZombie33 Updated Mar 24, 2012

*Historical Fiction, 1812* 
    
    A series of letters addressed to Beila, written by her father, who is a French soldier during Napoleon's invasion of Russia. He retells his experiences to her. 
    
    --
    
    Writers Note: Just and idea that came into my head, the two characters (Beila, and Jacques) are fictional. Each chapter is relatively short, but that's the way I want it to be. I apologize for any historical inaccuracies.

Oh the optomism of the beginning of war. I like this concept it's very original and intriguing. My only note would be the part where he describes his own daughter to herself seems a bit awkward but otherwise I got a good sense of how he must feel leaving his girls behind.
KristenPaige KristenPaige Mar 27, 2012 05:26AM
This is beautiful so far. It's unfinished, I hope? The only typo/error I noticed was in the first paragraph: "your sister's" should be "your sisters." That was the only mistake that jumped at me. I'll be adding this to my library for updates :)
mimi17143 mimi17143 Mar 27, 2012 05:24AM
i could feel his emotions through this letter. i feel bad for the guy. really good job the history part is really good. i actually enjoy reading history novels
mimi17143 mimi17143 Mar 27, 2012 05:23AM
wow very nicely written. it feels as if it is a real letter written from back then. good job on this one
Jisabella Jisabella Mar 24, 2012 11:47AM
Beautifully written, so believable with all the right use of words and structure. Your knowledge of when and where things happened also adds to the story.
Qwerty94 Qwerty94 Mar 24, 2012 05:18AM
Again, I like how you conveyed the emotions he is feeling and you furthered them by sharing a memory he has of the girls. Will all the chapters be in the form of a letter? Just make sure you don't make it repetitive, like don't explain similar stuff in each letter.