Succession

Succession

812 Reads 56 Votes 34 Part Story
Shannell Assem By 4everleereads Completed

Dortchland's royal court isn't all glitter crowns and regal confidence. The only heir Princess Layla, is to be named Crown Princess but is instead used as a pawn. Driven by fear in an attempt to keep her families' secrets she finds that she may need protection herself. She's aided by her childhood friend, Leon who has his own secrets to protect.


Layla's life was threatened when she was 13 and was sent away for protection until she was 21.  She's the only daughter and shares no siblings. 

The Captain of the knights has afflictions with assassins. The most notorious assassin is actually his father. A man he is desperate to get away from. And he wants to keep his son Leon away from him.

Advice is welcomed!

Why does he wish he could see him more often? Is it John who doesn't want to see him? Is there something else standing in the way? The sentence is great for tension building. Now I want to know more about their relationship and if John will help his brother.
The sentence reads smoother if you omit the last name. It can always be introduced later if knowing his last name is important.
I love the action here! I'm curious what they think is happening though. Why does Leon choose such a drastic action? How was he so sure the guard had bad intentions?
Avarez765 Avarez765 Jun 17
Great ending, awesome visuals! Definitely will be reading more. And another kudos for including Angela Bassett, one of my favorite actresses!
The mention of 'Germany' threw me a bit with also a land called Dortchland. I'm not entirely sure how to perceive this story. A different fantastical realm, some sort of modified historical variant of our own... it's slightly jarring.
You're switching from the past to present tense a lot. You really need to pick one and stick with it.