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474 Reads 47 Votes 27 Part Story
Shannell Assem By 4everleereads Updated a day ago

Dortchland's royal court isn't all glitter crowns and regal confidence. The only heir Princess Layla, is to be named Crown Princess but is instead used as a pawn. Driven by fear in an attempt to protect her families' secrets she finds that she may need protection herself. She's aided by her childhood friend, Leon who has his own secrets to protect.

Author's note: the novel is written in past tense. But I know I've probably said some things in present tense. I'm trying to catch and fix it. But don't be afraid to point them out too.

Advice is welcomed!

Avarez765 Avarez765 Jun 17
Great ending, awesome visuals! Definitely will be reading more. And another kudos for including Angela Bassett, one of my favorite actresses!
The mention of 'Germany' threw me a bit with also a land called Dortchland. I'm not entirely sure how to perceive this story. A different fantastical realm, some sort of modified historical variant of our own... it's slightly jarring.
You're switching from the past to present tense a lot. You really need to pick one and stick with it.
This makes me feel a little better 😊 John seems like he would be a way better father than Carver. Carver just annoys me haha. At least he did one thing right by giving his son to John!
I think it's best to just say Carver as they don't have differing surnames. Also the second sentence uses the pronouns to refer to both male characters. That can cause confusion. It would be best to write 'John barely sees his brother as often as he should.'
This story is really intruiging so far, which is fabulous for a prologue! I have to admit the past present thing irked me a little, but the fact that you acknowledged it and are going back to fix it makes it bearable. Not all authors are willing to do that 😔 I can't wait to read more XD