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Pen Your Pride
Eleventh Hour

Eleventh Hour

353 Reads 13 Votes 1 Part Story
Skye By DreamWeaverSkye Updated Feb 02, 2011

I don't know what made me look, but when my eyes landed on him, my world slowed almost to the point of stopping. I couldn't move, I made some sort of lunging motion towards him, trying vainly to get there in time but my feet stayed rooted to the spot. I saw an arm raise, light flashed off the steel that the arm held and my blood ran cold. 

Whatever invisible force that held me back disappeared and suddenly, I was flying across the field. 

NO! My mind screamed again and again. NO! Not him, please, not him. I ran, pumping my legs as fast as they would go. Knowing in the back of my mind that I was too late. And so we fell, the boy that had lived in my childhood and the girl that he loved. 

The sounds of the battle faded into a quiet humming in the background. I cradled his head in my lap and blinked away the water brimming in my eyes and tried to dislodge the lump in my throat.

"Alexandrea" he said. 

"Lexie" I said, shaking my head.

"Lexie" he agreed with a smile. "You've always been my Lexie." Then his eyes closed and I felt my heart shatter.

  • ash
  • bad
  • boy
  • eleventh
  • hour
  • knight
  • lady
  • love
  • sword
  • war
princesscavid princesscavid Jul 09, 2011
I say you continue this. No arguments. Nothing whatsoever.=))
geek342 geek342 Jun 26, 2011
For starters, your diction is pretty good. So is your grammar and the flow and structure of every single sentence and paragraph. You have a talent in story telling. It's sad that you chose not continue! I would love to read more of your work! Especially more of this tale!! -voted-
sockmonkey sockmonkey Mar 20, 2011
@SkyeBubble You're very much welcome!!  And I sure will :)  And you're really great at writing, keep it up!
DreamWeaverSkye DreamWeaverSkye Mar 20, 2011
@liliancarmine and @sockmonkey, Thank you so much! You really made my night! I hope you continue supporting me as I try to keep writing. Try being the operative word. ;) Thanks again!
sockmonkey sockmonkey Mar 20, 2011
OKay, so this was an amazing start to a great sounding book!  The way you described the scenery by saying what she didn't look at was really good!!!  You're very good at protraying emotions and I can't wait to read the next chapter!!!!  Here's hoping that you'll upload soon!