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Journey into the Land

Journey into the Land

1.3K Reads 47 Votes 7 Part Story
Katherine By taljera Updated Mar 09, 2011

Glen, a 16 year old boy living in a small town, with an easy, yet shadow-shrouded, fun-filled life in Kouts, is suddenly faced with a challenge. He must train with a creature, who calls herself a Taljera, by the name of Vatalliana, to either rescue the previous heroes and bring them back, or defeat Zertiave, the dragon attempting to gain control and rule all of Gonderash. A few years before he is faced with this task, his older brother Jeremy (who is the previous hero)  attempts to save the land of Gonderash. But he failed, and ended up a prisoner, his Taljera, Salashida, sacrificed in a last attempt to save Jeremy from being captured by Zertiave, to no avail. Glen must decide between rescuing his brother and finding a way to get  Salashida back from the grave so that Jeremy may finish his task and save Gonderash, or be forced to actually fight Zertiave with very little skill or training. Both equally impossible. Will they succeed? Or will they fail and be forced to wait for a new hero to appear? Will Zertiave gain control? Will Salashida be brought back, or remain forever only in memory? Do I even know whats going to happen? Honestly, I have no idea where this story will lead, and I will most likely be forced to alter this description later on. Again. Lol.

AllisonMMarie AllisonMMarie Sep 01, 2015
It does grab my attention. Despite the few spelling and grammar errors here and there, your descriptions are excellent! I am curious how the narrator knows that his parents were murdered instead of dying in the car accident. Guess I will have to keep reading? :)
Lsdavern Lsdavern Oct 29, 2014
Good pacing, but you may not want to have your narrator describe themselves so directly.  Still, I really like how you set up the family dynamic with him and his brother.
taljera taljera Nov 04, 2011
@Anasa17 I'm in the process of editing my chapters. Their crap right now. Lol.
taljera taljera May 27, 2011
@DragonQueen101 also, I am planning on changing these chapters. I'm going to revise them. I know I'm not good at descriptions. But I'm getting better. It's a skill in progress. And I think I'm getting better. But I'm still working on it!! :) thanks for reading!!! Means a lot!
taljera taljera May 27, 2011
@DragonQueen101 well I did say it was as broad as a lion only not as tall. It's about the size of a great Dane only wider. And much stronger.
DragonQueen101 DragonQueen101 May 27, 2011
Still u need to be a bit mOre descriptive i thought t first it was a lizard like tiny and stuff and then it spoke then it had wings then it could carry glen...... I'm a bit confuzzled