Troubled.

I don't think you ever really know who you are, until you lose who you are. You don't know pain until the person you would give your life for plucks the pin off of the grenade, leaving you standing alone in an open battlefield. You don't know love until the source of your happiness leaves you weak and withering in agony.

He loved me. He loved me so much that he forgot to hate himself. He was so busy putting me before everyone else that he didn't notice the storm inside of him start to break, allowing the few rays of light to shine through. He brought me back to life. He was the rain that nourished me and masked my heart in green once again. He promised me he would get better and he did, God, did he get better.

And then, something inside him shifted; not only did it change him, but it affected me as well. He took every ounce of passion and respect I had for myself and crushed it under his boot. He hit me right where I was weak, and I don't think I've ever felt pain like that before. He damaged the person I once was, changed and manipulated me into the person I am now, and wrecked the person I was supposed to be.

But all the pain, the tears, and the lies... I would do it all over just to feel his love again.

~~~~~
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•cover by @bitchyzayn •

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