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2 0 4 0 [probably never going to finish.]

2 0 4 0 [probably never going to finish.]

3.1K Reads 210 Votes 15 Part Story
Kali and Jake By live_yuh_life Completed

It's the year 2040. Things are WAY different than they used to be. Not only has technology advanced, but everything in life is chosen for you. What you wear, where you work, your childrens names, and even your spouse! And everyone goes along with it. It's the way of life. Well, for everyone except for Avory Hewes.
   Avory has never liked the system and how things go in life. She doesn't think it's fair that everything in life is set out for you. That no one has a choice in what they do. And she wants that to change. She's going to make it change. She's going to make sure of it.

LinhNguyen607 LinhNguyen607 Jul 07, 2012
Very interesting introduction... it's nice! (: Keep on writing!
TwinCity1518 TwinCity1518 Jul 01, 2012
The first and second sentence in the first paragraph can actually be one sentence--just replace the period with a comma. Other than that, I found this start very well-written. The proplgue has a bit of suspense, and your cover really got me thinking. Great job :)
charlesD charlesD May 24, 2012
I'll read more before giving a critique, but you misspelled Society in the second paragraph.
XxBrokenTearsxX XxBrokenTearsxX May 07, 2012
This is really good. It gives suspense. As this is very short a snappy (a good thing), there isn't really anything to improve on. :) Nice work.
Sianie1990 Sianie1990 Apr 25, 2012
I thought the description you gave me when you requested a cover seemed really interesting so I decided to read this story :D
onepieceofrainbow onepieceofrainbow Apr 23, 2012
Ahh, what a chilling premise - especially since 2040 really isn't that far off! I actually think Avory Hewes sounds rather pretty :)