The Kidnapping of Miranda (unfinished)

8 Part Story 1.1K Reads 23 Votes
Makayla By hufzigirl Updated 3 years ago
When Miranda needs to make a chilling story for her creative writing class, she suddenly finds herself inside of one. She doesn't know if she'll survive, much less escape, when she and another boy are kidnapped for ransom by two madmen, heading for disaster.
Okay, first things first I like the theme of what’s supposed to be happening—your idea is great. But it’s all going tooooo fast. You need to leave some space for surprise in it. Okay, in the first paragraph you put “tuff” instead of the word “tough”. I really liked the third paragraph though. It was very descriptive. Try incorporating more of that writing style in the rest of the story. Everything just sort of happened, you want to make the readers FEEL it too, ya know?