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Pen Your Pride


810 Reads 54 Votes 4 Part Story
unveiledwords By unveiledwords Updated Apr 18, 2012

The Amadore sisters are really nothing out of the ordinary. They had a tough past, but that is all history. Now, they are just your average university students living their daily lives in America. But when a group of strangers enter their lives, everything they knew about this world is flipped inside out. What used to be a simple college experience suddenly turns into a life away from the norm, a life full of secrets, betrayals, powers and murders. And that's when they realize they have entered the world of Diamesa.

  • elementals
  • faith
  • family
  • friendship
  • humor
  • legend
  • love
  • mystery
  • supernatural
  • trust
  • truth
TheTickingCrocodile TheTickingCrocodile Mar 30, 2012
Wow, gripping prologue! Excellent, excellent job! The part about reincarnating and the favor confused me a bit. :\ Also, you say "four neighboring COUNTRIES" attacked their village... Maybe it should be four neighboring towns? Or cities? Or villages?
                              Keep writing,
MsArtemis MsArtemis Mar 28, 2012
I can see this story means a lot to you, in the way that you write. I cannot tell you otherwise at his point.
writeforfun writeforfun Mar 28, 2012
Very good job setting up the story! Your word choice definitely made the prologue mysterious, but I got very confused with the part about the war (who died, what was decided, etc.). I hope you continue to clarify this in the net couple chapters.
AlexisSims AlexisSims Mar 28, 2012
Love the dark fairytale atmosphere established here. Very good prologue!
AwesomelyBlaze AwesomelyBlaze Mar 28, 2012
                              ...ahem. Sorry about that. Anyway, I love the prologue. The story and the whole 'one suffers and one gets protected and stuff' is original so far. Keep it up!
TheSkylarMoon TheSkylarMoon Mar 27, 2012
I've always loved the concept of controlling the elements....-.- Oh well that had nothing to do with anything! GREAT JOB NONETHELESS!!!