Broken Night (On Hold)

Broken Night (On Hold)

107 Reads 6 Votes 6 Part Story
sophisticatedlove14 By sophisticatedlove14 Updated Apr 27, 2012

"She brushed a lock of my long brown hair with natural highlights behind my ear, leaving her hand lingering on my face, cupping my cheek. “You remind me so much of him.” She dropped her hand and quickly looked away, averting my gaze. “Mom?” She looked at me and stared into my eyes waiting for me to ask my question. “Who? Who’s ‘him’?” I asked her because I’m so confused. This is the second time this week she has brought up this “him” person and I still have no idea who she has been talking about. This has been going on ever since I turned 15 I’m 17 now.

FeatherMemories FeatherMemories Mar 19, 2012
Great start. I suggest you use words for your numbers (e.g 17= seventeen). But it depends on you. Other than that, the descriptions and dialogues were awesome. =))
joecool123 joecool123 Mar 17, 2012
really really good. I like how you actually have descriptions and it seems like you're paying attention to little details. also this is a cool idea. I haven't really read any other paranormal stories but I really like this. This is a solid story.
LifeDreamer LifeDreamer Mar 15, 2012
OMGGGGGG Girl this is amazing!!!!!!!<3333 FINISH IT!!!!!((((((((((((: Love You<3