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Pen Your Pride
And what hurts the most is that you're not sorry(Canceld until further noticed).

And what hurts the most is that you're not sorry(Canceld until further noticed).

925 Reads 19 Votes 12 Part Story
olivia By HOW_TO_SAVE_A_LIFE Completed

17 year old Alis Renae Jackson meets Jason Castero Garcia she instantly is attracted to him. As their relationship gets stronger so does their love for each other, well until school is back and she finds out he's her teacher. She always thought how fun a secret relationship with her teacher would be but now she knows its not fun at all & to add to it, he's abusive.

HOW_TO_SAVE_A_LIFE HOW_TO_SAVE_A_LIFE Mar 15, 2012
@MarineLynn okay thanks i'm gonna edit it a few times& keep going!
                              
                              @ButterflyDoll, @seiko_usui & @ch4rmed  thanks!
seiko_usui seiko_usui Mar 15, 2012
i agree with these two people down here.
                              
                              and it's like a plain script because i can't see any descriptions. all i can are just dialogue lines.
                              but your summary was well written which made me want to take a look.
                              anyways, this has some work to do. =3
ButterflyDoll ButterflyDoll Mar 15, 2012
A few mistakes I picked up, and it kinda takes away from the amazingness of this story, but once you edited, I have true faith  this is going to be a amazing story!
ch4rmed ch4rmed Mar 15, 2012
Nice start, and i agree with @MarineLynn, you do have a good plot !
MarineLynn MarineLynn Mar 15, 2012
ADVICE
                              -Stick to a tense. The word 'Say' is present, when 'said' is past. You tend to do that. 
                              -Have more description. You kept it at a minimum. 
                              
                              PRAISES
                              -Your summary is well set to go! You have a great plot ready to be written(: