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Pen Your Pride
Immortal Mistakes

Immortal Mistakes

2.7K Reads 427 Votes 32 Part Story
Leah Cannon By leahcanscience Completed

This is what Chloe remembers. She isn't sure if this is what happened but she's given up trying to work that out. It doesn't matter after all. If this is what she remembers, this is what happened.

When her best friend Henry's brain explodes inside her 3D printing machine, Chloe is arrested and forced to become fertile and pregnant, like a dirty, old-fashioned mortal. As her memories shift and change and she finds herself in two places at once, she tries to hold on to what is real: she loves Henry; she wants to live and the baby inside her may be the key to it all.

  • action
  • australia
  • dystopia
  • family
  • love
  • science
  • sciencefiction
MistressOP MistressOP Jun 26, 2017
this is kinda an interesting way to start it off but id like a scene a bit more if im honest.  at least it doesnt rhyme.  thats a plust
squirrelg squirrelg Jun 08, 2017
Oooh this is so meta! I'm intrigued by the blurb already. Was totally expecting something different after reading "never grow old" first!
AutumnElf555 AutumnElf555 Jun 07, 2017
This beginning is haunting and beautiful, maybe partially due to its brevity. It definitely heightened the stakes for me, before I even know what they are! :)
EBJosef EBJosef May 28, 2017
I do like opening on this short tease. It does a great job of setting up the central conflict that grabs the reader's attention.
IceRequiem IceRequiem Jun 03, 2017
Funny how fickle a thing memory can be isn't it ^^ especially when an account is based solely on one person's memory, it's interesting to see the biases that can arise, and can speak volumes of the character telling it