Ascending Nidyum

Ascending Nidyum

2K Reads 137 Votes 5 Part Story
sssparrow By sssparrow Updated Apr 04, 2015

When Kala, a nomadic trader in the treacherous deserts of ancient Mesopotamia, happens upon a necklace of great intrigue and power, she unwittingly begins a dangerous foray into a gods' power struggle, a realm-spanning war, and a world of deep, undiscovered magic.

daydreamer54 daydreamer54 Apr 21, 2015
Great job with buikding up the setting and I liked the foreshadowing at the end. Im curious about the different races of people and whats so special about this stone. Definetly reading morem
Littlek978 Littlek978 Apr 13, 2015
I absolutely love how you describe the strangers appearance! Excellent job!
Littlek978 Littlek978 Apr 13, 2015
Wonderful imagery! Absolutely beautiful wording in here, fantastic job:)
DareToBeBold DareToBeBold Apr 13, 2015
I love the detail of how you describe things! However most people say you shouldn't over explain things. I myself use to much detail. I don't want to call you out on something that I also do, but I wanted to let you know some people don't like that :p
DareToBeBold DareToBeBold Apr 13, 2015
I was thrown off in this paragraph. I had already got lost. 
                              
                              For people like me might not know what the Jipaa and Maluizu are you should explain if they're a river?
iamJJay iamJJay Apr 10, 2015
Wow! The plot is really unique and compelling. The character seems so likeable. You did great building the suspense of the story. Overall, it's well-written, captivating and it seems very promising. :)