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Pen Your Pride


1K Reads 16 Votes 1 Part Story
The_Deep By Deep4141 Completed

Can love come before duty and loyalty to one's country? Can a spy abort her important mission to listen to the reasoning of the man she had given her love? Or will the complicated world of espionage bear witness to another heartbreak and a double-play? Read on to find out how fortunes change like fickle weather......!

  • betrayal
  • hard-drive
  • helicopter
  • love
  • natasha
  • paul
  • spy
  • tower
  • wattyawards
DarkCastleofNight DarkCastleofNight Feb 05, 2011
                              If you need any russian words ask me. I will be more than happy to help. 
DarkCastleofNight DarkCastleofNight Feb 03, 2011
There was adrenaline for sure. The story is wonderful and very interesting. I liked it very much, but a lot of words I do not know. Other then that I understood the flow of the story where it was leading to and how events were opening up. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Please continue.
NEAuthor NEAuthor Feb 03, 2011
Try not to overdo your descriptive language. A little bit makes the story more interesting, but too much, like you've done, just bores the readers. 
Deep4141 Deep4141 Feb 02, 2011
                              Hey, thanks for the suggestions !  =] Ya, polylithic ain't a word, so I replaced it with a simple 'stone'. Hope that suffices. Er, what do u mean the tagline speech isn't realistic?
Mera2876 Mera2876 Feb 02, 2011
The action is good and i loved the switching. Good work with that. There are a couple of things, first, polylithic is not a word. You either mean monolithic or Paleolithic. Look them up to see. And his little tagline speech at the end wasn't realistic. Clean that up and this will be good. =] 
Deep4141 Deep4141 Feb 01, 2011
@tianajade @missvindictive 
                              Lol, that's coz I edit each of my stories twice at least before posting them here, or anywhere else. Thanks for the comments !!! ;-D