A Great Life

A Great Life

202 Reads 4 Votes 18 Part Story
Brianna Marie By EverlastingHarmony Updated Mar 25, 2012

It's about a girl that has family problems. When her little sister was born, her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. Even though she survived, she is older now and she still has problems breathing. 

Tell me if I should write more...

prim12 prim12 Mar 03, 2013
I think this is a great chapter but there r some things that could make it better: space out the chapters some more, detail some more ( that helps with making them longer too) this is about all and you really should make a new book!
Paradoxx Paradoxx Mar 15, 2012
You should really separate the writing into paragraphs , and also the quotations separated from each paragraph, it will be easier to read and more appealing to the eye.
xxJungiexx xxJungiexx Feb 28, 2012
@EverlastingHarmony still needs some formatting and there's some little grammar mistakes but those can be easily fixed. Maybe u should try getting some1 to edit it 4u? just a suggestion.
madilynee11 madilynee11 Feb 27, 2012
Good job, sweet cheeks. :D Thanks for commenting on my profile. LOL. Love your story, even though I have already read this before you posted it! Keep up the good work.
xxJungiexx xxJungiexx Feb 27, 2012
@EverlastingHarmony you have a good story on your hands but it needs formatting asap. it's very hard to read when its all in one big paragraph and that's a turn off.
xxJungiexx xxJungiexx Feb 27, 2012
Please separate your chapters and format your paragraphs. Trust me it will make your story alot easier to read