The Rumblings of a Broke Tanzanian Teen

1 Part Story 85 Reads 9 Votes
Frank Ifunya By Frankfimy Completed
My hurt, My pain finally freed
Another beautiful one! 8D
                                    
                                    You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite songs, "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones :D It's so sad, but with that little twinge of hope, I do believe :D
                                    
                                    Nice flow, as well. Loved how you told a story with this. Very, very nice.
                                    
                                    However, there are some tiny mistakes ^-^ In the fourth line of the first stanza, there's an "i" that should be capitalized, and at the end of the second stanza, I don't think "advanced" needs to be capitalized. Just little things like that throughout the poem, but they're quickly fixable in a jiffy ^-^
                                    
                                    Lovely writing! :D
Another beautiful one! 8D
                                    
                                    You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite songs, "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones :D It's so sad, but with that little twinge of hope, I do believe :D
                                    
                                    Nice flow, as well. Loved how you told a story with this. Very, very nice.
                                    
                                    However, there are some tiny mistakes ^-^ In the fourth line of the first stanza, there's an "i" that should be capitalized, and at the end of the second stanza, I don't think "advanced" needs to be capitalized. Just little things like that throughout the poem, but they're quickly fixable in a jiffy ^-^
                                    
                                    Lovely writing! :D
Another beautiful one! 8D
                                    
                                    You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite songs, "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones :D It's so sad, but with that little twinge of hope, I do believe :D
                                    
                                    Nice flow, as well. Loved how you told a story with this. Very, very nice.
                                    
                                    However, there are some tiny mistakes ^-^ In the fourth line of the first stanza, there's an "i" that should be capitalized, and at the end of the second stanza, I don't think "advanced" needs to be capitalized. Just little things like that throughout the poem, but they're quickly fixable in a jiffy ^-^
                                    
                                    Lovely writing! :D
Another beautiful one! 8D
                                    
                                    You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite songs, "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones :D It's so sad, but with that little twinge of hope, I do believe :D
                                    
                                    Nice flow, as well. Loved how you told a story with this. Very, very nice.
                                    
                                    However, there are some tiny mistakes ^-^ In the fourth line of the first stanza, there's an "i" that should be capitalized, and at the end of the second stanza, I don't think "advanced" needs to be capitalized. Just little things like that throughout the poem, but they're quickly fixable in a jiffy ^-^
                                    
                                    Lovely writing! :D
Another beautiful one! 8D
                                    
                                    You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite songs, "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones :D It's so sad, but with that little twinge of hope, I do believe :D
                                    
                                    Nice flow, as well. Loved how you told a story with this. Very, very nice.
                                    
                                    However, there are some tiny mistakes ^-^ In the fourth line of the first stanza, there's an "i" that should be capitalized, and at the end of the second stanza, I don't think "advanced" needs to be capitalized. Just little things like that throughout the poem, but they're quickly fixable in a jiffy ^-^
                                    
                                    Lovely writing! :D
Another beautiful one! 8D
                                    
                                    You know what this reminds me of? One of my favorite songs, "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones :D It's so sad, but with that little twinge of hope, I do believe :D
                                    
                                    Nice flow, as well. Loved how you told a story with this. Very, very nice.
                                    
                                    However, there are some tiny mistakes ^-^ In the fourth line of the first stanza, there's an "i" that should be capitalized, and at the end of the second stanza, I don't think "advanced" needs to be capitalized. Just little things like that throughout the poem, but they're quickly fixable in a jiffy ^-^
                                    
                                    Lovely writing! :D