The Derivative Ring

The Derivative Ring

237 Reads 24 Votes 10 Part Story
B By foreverfearless57 Updated Jul 19, 2012

Lindsey Crowther grew up in the real world, with her twin brother and her mom. But at sixteen years old, her and her brother are being sent back to the place where they were born, a place called Salem Falls. Salem Falls is a whole other world where magic exists, but what happens when she returns to Salem Falls is way more than what she expects.

  • love
  • magic
  • sorcerer
  • teen
  • witch
foreverfearless57 foreverfearless57 Apr 11, 2012
@TeenageDreaming yeah, I find that I write fast sometimes to get all my ideas out and forget to take time to be descriptive. But thank you very much! :)
_Quinn _Quinn Apr 11, 2012
a well deserved vote for a well written chapter will add it to my reading list for sure aswell.
foreverfearless57 foreverfearless57 Apr 11, 2012
@KristenPaige thank you! Grammar has always given me some trouble, I'll fix that. Constructive criticism always helps, and I'm glad you like it! :)
KristenPaige KristenPaige Apr 10, 2012
The main error I noticed was:
                              
                              "When my mother was a teenager, her and her friends..." - Should be "she and her friends"
                              
                              There was a bit of telling in the beginning that I felt slowed the narrative down a bit, but the information was interesting. I do like the story so far.
foreverfearless57 foreverfearless57 Apr 10, 2012
@JenSun this is one of my favorite parts so far, I'm glad you like it :)
JenSun JenSun Apr 10, 2012
wow!!! i love the way you wrote this! the detailing and everything was fab. nice!