Go through the life, motions, and eyes of Josh Heartland as he tells the story of his life from the choices he makes.  A concealed kept secret from his early age in the hardship economic times ends up leading him down a path effecting everyone around him. Further down the road he tries to get away from the past that always comes back to haunt him with the choices he made.  No matter where or who you are the choices you make will dictate your future.
Wow, this was really long, but I can tell you put a lot of effort into writing this. Let's see, first things first. You and I have a similar writing style. It might have been due to the character himself, but I noticed that both of us write in a kind of poetic voice, and I think that made your character stand out. He seems like a really complex person, and I could definitely connect with his confusion. Just make sure you don't  go overboard with the imagery and poetic tone. 
                                    
                                    However, it could still do with some minor polishing. Your writing didn't have any glaring grammatical errors, so that already puts you in a good light. : ) But you did have some areas that had slight grammatical errors. For example, you were missing commas where they should be. Like for this sentence: "It clutches my soul draining my spirit like a parasite." This should have a comma after "soul" because there is a natural pause there when you read the sentence. 
                                    
                                    There were also areas that should have been sentences, but you left as separated ideas with a comma. The sentence before the one I edited, "I have, I've made a choice that I regret to this day" should have been "I have. I've made a choice that I regret to this day" or "I have' I've made a choice that I regret to this day. " You cannot connect two full, functioning sentences with only a comma; that's a comma splice. If you want to still connect them, use a semi-colon. If you don't really care which one to use, I would recommend using a period. Just having those ideas with a period will give your writing more of a heavy tone. 
                                    
                                    Lastly, I think you should separate your paragraphs into smaller ones. Some of them are really really long, and it can easily tire out readers if they have to go through all of it. Find places that have a shift in idea, and separate your paragraphs there. One paragraph I can point out is the second paragraph on the first page.   
                                    
                                    I hope this helped you. : ) This was really well-written. Keep writing!
Wow, this was really long, but I can tell you put a lot of effort into writing this. Let's see, first things first. You and I have a similar writing style. It might have been due to the character himself, but I noticed that both of us write in a kind of poetic voice, and I think that made your character stand out. He seems like a really complex person, and I could definitely connect with his confusion. Just make sure you don't  go overboard with the imagery and poetic tone. 
                                    
                                    However, it could still do with some minor polishing. Your writing didn't have any glaring grammatical errors, so that already puts you in a good light. : ) But you did have some areas that had slight grammatical errors. For example, you were missing commas where they should be. Like for this sentence: "It clutches my soul draining my spirit like a parasite." This should have a comma after "soul" because there is a natural pause there when you read the sentence. 
                                    
                                    There were also areas that should have been sentences, but you left as separated ideas with a comma. The sentence before the one I edited, "I have, I've made a choice that I regret to this day" should have been "I have. I've made a choice that I regret to this day" or "I have' I've made a choice that I regret to this day. " You cannot connect two full, functioning sentences with only a comma; that's a comma splice. If you want to still connect them, use a semi-colon. If you don't really care which one to use, I would recommend using a period. Just having those ideas with a period will give your writing more of a heavy tone. 
                                    
                                    Lastly, I think you should separate your paragraphs into smaller ones. Some of them are really really long, and it can easily tire out readers if they have to go through all of it. Find places that have a shift in idea, and separate your paragraphs there. One paragraph I can point out is the second paragraph on the first page.   
                                    
                                    I hope this helped you. : ) This was really well-written. Keep writing!