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One Chance

One Chance

2.4K Reads 23 Votes 6 Part Story
Kas By drammaqueen20 Updated Dec 12, 2011

Victory is your average 17 year old, or so the world thinks. Victory is shy, but once you get through her walls, there's a world full of talent and color...  The most standoutish part of her is her voice - this 17 year old can sing!  But she would never tell anyone - she's too shy...

A new guy moves in next door.  He's dangerous, mysterious and - oh yeah, absolutly drop-dead gorgeous!  Will his bad-boy ways help break Victory out of her shell in time for the spring concert...or will her talents be hidden forever?

drammaqueen20 drammaqueen20 Jul 27, 2011
@MikiSaitomi lol oh thats all i seem to do! 
                              it sucks :P 
                              its sooo embarising :P 
ShyaRenee ShyaRenee Jun 29, 2011
Your prologue was cool :)
                              This chapter is very realistic :)
                              loved it 
BloodyWicked BloodyWicked Jun 29, 2011
You got a few spelling mistake here and there but all in all it's nice! Good job.
drammaqueen20 drammaqueen20 Jun 08, 2011
thanks, yea i didnt have my first one edited by anyone, i have my third chapter ready, i just need someone to look over it for me... 
                              humm funny no one seems to want to edit a 6 page chapter.. wonder why :P 
                              il get someone to soon i hope cuz i really do want to get it up here 
ACRL37 ACRL37 Jun 08, 2011
This isn't bad, although I would be careful with punctuation and grammar, and use full words like 'you' instead of 'u.' It also might help not to bold too many of the sentences. However, this story has a lot of potential, so keep writing and good luck! =) 
drammaqueen20 drammaqueen20 Jun 08, 2011
                              thanks, yea i have no punctuation at all, but ive gotten better, :P 
                              thanks for the feed back :D