Dark-humor Stories

Book 2 of Boys Of Elmwood It was a dangerous world I lived in, a world where addiction was rampant, and everyone was trying to find a quick fix. And I was no different. I was addicted, so obsessed that I couldn't see anything else but that rush that drugs gave me. That was until I found something far better than drugs. Someone, in fact. He seemed to understand me in a way nobody else did. He knew what I needed and when I needed it. But he wasn't the only one. There was another man in the shadows, one who wouldn't let me go no matter what I did. One who had a twisted obsession with me and wouldn't leave me alone. We all had our demons. It was just about keeping them at bay, but even then, there are some demons that refuse to let you go.

The war storms at the Frontier... The gods are broken. The empire is burning. And the end has already begun. A warrior with no past unleashes power no mortal should wield. A young ruler clings to a dying crown as his people lose faith. A chaos mage, feared and revered, walks with death in her shadow. Amongst their ranks-two Rifter siblings, wilders of ruin, benders of space and time. Feared. Watched. Leashed by the most powerful. But even under chains, love blooms... and loyalty begins to shift. When the empress falls into a cursed slumber-her unborn child the last ember of prophecy- the empire sends its strongest into the Abyssm of Lost Quintessence: A place where even time forgets itself, where silence hungers, and where One of the Roots of the Umbrovyn Tree stands-ancient, cracked, and bleeding memory. Monstrosities roam, daring to strike in daylight. The veils whisper betrayal. Alliances splinter. Some stand frozen, unsure of their next move- fearing one wrong step may provoke the wrath of a dominion vast as a world and cruel as the gods who forged it. Old gods stir, craving redemption through ruin. The Royal House fractures beneath betrayal. A founding father, long patient, now bares their intent- to seize the throne by force, by cunning, by wagering all that is. Their House's malice toward the flawed Royal line can no longer be cloaked. Love will test loyalty. Legends will bleed. And in the dying light of Ether-Space- The Aurora must not fall... Or all realities will burn. 🔥

Y/N Goldberg was forced to move away from New York thanks to his adoptive brother from another mother, Joe Goldberg, who once saved his life. However, once they're at Los Angeles, he finds out that he's got a lot more in common with his older self than he thinks.

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲. In a city that eats the innocent alive, 𝐋𝐮𝐝𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢 learned to become the predator. She doesn't have a job - she has disguises. By day, she's just a tired single mother with a daughter to raise and a past that won't stay buried. By night, she's the whisper in Manhattan's penthouses - a conwoman who seduces, steals, and leaves her sins gift-wrapped in diamonds. New York taught her how to survive: weaponise silence, smile like sin, and make danger fall in love with her. Some people run from their past. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. "𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠." Because healing was never the plan. Revenge always was.

Saya has a special arrangement with a dragon. She gets tied to rocks. He gets the gold. They scam villages with fake sacrifices, overcooked rituals, and a convincing act of "damsel in distress." She's no maiden - just a fast-talking harlot with sharp instincts, flexible morals, and a talent for moaning on cue. He's no terrifying beast - just a very old, very gay, very arthritic lizard with a hoard, a temper, and joint pain from shapeshifting too much in the bygone ages. It's all going swimmingly until heroes start showing up. Cults get nosy. Other dragons get ideas. And Saya begins to wonder what exactly she's doing in a world where virtue gets sacrificed and livestock counts as treasure. A sword-and-sandals fantasy with scams, sarcasm, sensuality, and sheep.

Hi. This is a random story, with a possibility of brainrot. Maybe. Probably. Yeah. ε=ε=ε=(~￣▽￣)~ Oh. I almost forgot. The chances of 67 being in this is almost certaaaaiiiinnnn ~~~ Enjoy ~

A hyper advanced tin can gets taught humanity by a highschool girl

From the chaotic universe of You Never Know - featuring returning characters in a darker, funnier war of madness. Buckle up you sexy Mofos. You are in for a crazy ride 🦽🔥

On Harry Renard's fifty-fifth Birthday he awakes to find that his face has been encased in a black cloud, which he thinks is odd because it had not been there the night before. On inspecting this strange phenomenon, Harry realises that he can just about see out through the dark mist, but his face is completely obscured from the outside. Unsure of what to do but worried that if he is late for work again, on yet another gloomy Monday morning, his juvenile boss Tarquin Stark will finally have a reason to dismiss him. On arriving at the office Harry is surprised to find the cloud has expanded to engulf his whole head, but why does no one else in the office seem to notice? UNDERBELLY [n.] singular The soft underside or abdomen of a mammal. An area vulnerable to attack. A dark, hidden part of society. Trigger Warning, This story contains themes of Bullying, Suicide and Self-harm

Welcome to ToonTech Unlimited™, where job scopes shift daily, HR is a chatbot named Pluto, and interns secretly train AI to survive the madness. Taffy just wanted a quiet internship. Instead, she got chaos, a possibly sentient coffee machine, and an AI that's rewriting her life - and her novel. Corporate life? More like Ctrl + Z your expectations.

Dave is crushing under the boredom of summer. After his life-threatening time in the city, he couldn't wait to get back with his friend Joe, who got him through it all. Without any contact with Joe, Dave walks around depressed and annoyed with his new live-in grandma. However, there is a glimmer of hope; his mother has to go into the city again to buy him camping supplies. Will he get to reunite with his friends again? Will he be prepared for the city this time? Buy the first book on Amazon! Available in paperback and Kindle! Kindle: https://a.co/d/iCoU4Db Paperback: https://a.co/d/1DO3zN8

He doesn't talk. He doesn't boast. He doesn't need to. In a city that never sleeps, shadows move on their own. And sometimes... they're alive. Caleb. That's all anyone calls him. Some say he's a ghost. Others call him Mr. Bean, The Bleeding One, Babyface. No one knows his real name. Or where he comes from. All they know is that when he appears, nothing is the same. At thirteen, he's seen more than most will in a lifetime. Thief, fugitive, shadow in the dark... Caleb lives by one rule: if it's not his business, it's not his problem. But if he's in for a cleaning. He's different. Some nights he saves lives. Other nights... he leaves a trail of broken walls, broken people, and whispered rumors of a boy who shouldn't exist. And then there's the Shift. A power he doesn't explain, doesn't flaunt. Blink, and he's gone. Blink again... and he's already behind you. Caleb doesn't care who people are. He doesn't care what they want. He cares about survival. And in his world, mercy doesn't always win. . . . . . . . Or does it?

A crime shatters the fragile balance between two worlds. A magical being, stripped of his immortality, is willing to risk everything to recover the lost manuscript that holds the key to his salvation. In the shadows, dark forces conspire to awaken an ancient terror-one that seeks to unleash a third Ragnarök and plunge the universe into chaos. When a teenager discovers the cryptic notes of his late grandfather, a renowned paleographer, he is drawn into a war of secrets, betrayals, and forbidden power. As ambitious creatures barter their souls and empires crumble, a sinister presence rises from the darkness-hungering for vengeance, destruction, and death.

25 year old Grace Avery is a stunning women working as a detective/investigator. Due to her looks she often gets sexist remarks from her colleagues, seen only as a object of praise and beauty rather than a fellow detective. Annoyed and frustrated, she goes to an old friend for help and assistance, asking for a partner who doesn't care about her looks and has the brains to work with her, to which she learns that there is a person who could help her, the problem lays in the fact that, that person is the very same man who Grace knew and hated in high school, Basil M. House. Will Grace continue to hate his guts? is Basil the same man who Grace knew in High school? and will their relationship change? This is a reimagining of Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. besides being a reimagining, it's also a composite of different mystery stories and movies that I loved so don't be surprised if some of the cases or puzzles look familiar. really enjoyed writing this:)

20 Contestants 1 million dollars as the grand prize WHO will win the battle or who will go home This is Object Terror

(Contains spoilers for all chapters) [Version A] Kris, for the past 2 days, haven't had their autonomy for quite some time. Their soul had been making choices for them that they'd rather have not been made. However, after the Queen's battle, wake up in the overworld, confused and disorientated, but.... with free will, again? They would be happy, but it's cut short when they realize that what they hoped for came with a strange price. A price that they hope they can get rid of soon before things go awry.

The Adventures of Brady & Boomer continues in Kinkow along with Michelle & Maybelle; this time they have to face a evil villain in island that is powerful than any other villains. Michelle finally confesses her feelings towards to Brady again that she is serious this time that she wanted to be with Brady for she could proof to him the whole time she loves him no matter what he was before but then Mikayla gets jealous and tries to ruin the relationship by the help of Uma that she makes a love spell on Brady for he could be with Mikayla not with Michelle, later then Michelle didn't likes what Mikayla was doing the whole time till she told on her with her dad Mason and her brother Michael. But they didn't believe what Michelle was telling them till it was too late that Mikayla turn evil, then Lanny tried to help Michelle to get back at Mikayla for he could be Michelle's fake boyfriend to make Brady jealous of his own cousin but then Boomer didn't like what Lanny was planing to do so he tries to tell his twin brother Brady everything and doesn't believes it. Will this disasters ends or would Michelle and Boomer tries to find a cured for Brady's cursed? Find out on season 2 for Pair of Kings. Author's Note: This book will be based on season 2 Pair of Kings but some of the chapters will be changed. Also this story will have some strong rude humor in it IF you feel offended or find offensive then don't read it at ALL THANK YOU

The story continues as the mysterious warden of Zig-Zig is eventually informed about Herschel's escape. Against every principle of his precious Dalmicir school, Lyeasrakardsul submits and asks the Knomes for help before finally receiving the dreaded p-wyrd. Herschel is arrested as a chicken thief and brought to the town Stagna where he has been prejudged as a p-e-r-v-e-r-t by popular opinion, and where he will have some of the most significant encounters in his life.

basically if tbp characters had a group chat but its like based in 2022 does that make sense? finney: finsarm robin: robinsbandana bruce: mintyman vance: pinballvance billy: newsboy griffin: invisiblegriffin gwen: gwengremlin the grabber:dumbfuckingfartnocker

Many people are saying that in the 21st century, the schools are out of control. Students don't face any real consequences for bad behavior, and things are getting worse and worse. However, one particular state in the USA has innovated a new form of discipline that's painless, safe and surprisingly effective. These are the stories of its victims. These are the Brown Slime Stories... (content warning: mild profane language)