Brutally honest critiques for free

  • SadieLayli1232
    4 years ago

    If you want honest critiques on your stories and poems, post a link and a description! If you don't post both of these, I will not bother to read it.

    Also, I AM VERY HONEST. If I thought a book was boring, I would write in the critique.

    If I fall in love with a book, I will vote and fan.

    Tell me how much of the book you want me to read as well. I will read up to 8 chapters and write the critique on the last chapter I read.

  • notbreathinganymore
    4 years ago

    here's mine, thanks in advance:) could you read all chapters? there's only seven. then comment on the last with your ideas and improvements? be as harsh as you want. i NEED people to be honest!:)

  • SadieLayli1232
    4 years ago

    Wow really? I offered free critiques and I got only one taker?

  • 4u1solo
    4 years ago

    @SadieLayli1232 - try, that would link you to the blog and chapter 1. Just make a selection from the menu, or not? Isn't the first chapter the important chapter?

  • SadieLayli1232
    4 years ago


    Yes the first chapter is important. But I will read as many chapters as you put down in your reply.

  • SadieLayli1232
    4 years ago

    @4u1solo I found your chapter, but can I just give you the review here? I'd rather not share my email just to write a comment on your book.

    You have a lot of grammar errors. I would go back and proof read your story a few times to catch all the mistakes. I wish there was more detail in your story and that it was longer. I was lost and times and the way you wrote the dialogue also threw me off.

  • _optimisticalme
    4 years ago


    The story follows the girl by the name of Khanak Singham. She's rich and always gets things the way she has wanted. In short, She's a happy citizen of the Great United States of America. That is until her father engages her to his best friend's son Zayn Malik. Khanak isn't happy and she'll go to any length to break the marriage; inconspicuously that is.

    I would love an honest critique. I just have two chapters...If you can check both then out please. Thank you!

  • feathersnake
    4 years ago

    @SadieLayli1232 I don't know if you're interested in fantasy, but I could always use a critique. I already know I need to improve, so be as honest and brutal as you want. :P As for how many chapters...I'll leave it up to you. If you get bored after the first chapter, then I certainly don't mind if you don't want to keep going. ^-^;


    Summary: In the city of Calanthe, only residents of the church know of an ancient prophecy about a hero named "Lyric." At fourteen, Lyric was admitted to the church for his name to undergo "hero training" as a Prophecy child, and he's more than unhappy about it. After Lyric had spent four years at the church, earning his nickname: "Demon of the Church," a new Prophecy child named Kaleo enters, and he comes from the area beyond Calanthe's borders— Serberos. When Lyric learns that his own origins aren't what he thought, he has to rely on Kaleo after they are forced to leave the city. In the vast lands of Serberos, Lyric struggles to find out who and what he is, and things exist there that he never believed could be true.

  • Janinha
    4 years ago

    @SadieLayli1232 thanx for reading i'm still a bit new but i am trying to catch up with the grammar and all the spelling and stuff, so any advise is good enough for me.

  • SadieLayli1232
    4 years ago

    @Janinha Please put a link if you want me to read your story

  • _DeathNoteNinja
    4 years ago

    Alright...So I have prologues done for three stories currently, and I'm not sure if I should keep going with any of them? You don't have to read them all, but they're only 1-3 pages each. Since these are only prologues, please ask any questions that you need to-obviously I'm leaving some things out on purpose because I plan to develop them later on in the story. Oh...and this is my first time writing prose...I'm a poet by these are all simply first attempts. Once again, you don't have to read them all...

    Finding Spirits in Crowded Halls (Fantasy)

    The Chance (Dystopian Romance)

    Renegades and Serenades (Sci-Fi)


    P.S. Renegades and Serenades and The Chance each also have a tentative first chapter. I'm just asking about the prologues right now...

  • KeepOnBelievin
    4 years ago

    Hey, could you read my story, please?


    Description: Cody Harris and Arizona "Ari" Cortez have been the best of friends since either of them can remember. Cody's always been there for Ari and Ari's always been there for Cody. Nothing could ever change that. When Ari's father goes M.I.A in Iraq, her world comes tumbling down. As her mother turns to drinking and her older brother becomes unreachable, Cody is Ari's only reliable rock. She knows that she can count on him for anything, their feelings for each other never changing... Right? But what happens when Ari suddenly finds herself falling for her best friend, something that she promised herself she'd never do? And what happens when Cody finally does something that he's wanted to do since seventh grade and asks his best friend out...on a real date? Will these two best friends stay best friends no matter what...or will disagreements and stress strain their relationship farther than possible?

    Sorry, the description is kinda long. Can you read....say, five chapters? That's all of Part One.

    Thanks in advance!!!!!!:)

  • AflyingMonkey
    4 years ago Blood. It holds many memories for me. One of late night horror movies with my brother. My vampire Halloween costume. The monsters under my bed. Waking up from a nightmare. Living in an illusion. Blood is a quite amazing thing isn't it.

  • _xSummerKiss
    4 years ago mineforeverandever

    Fifteen-year-old Haley is artsy and free-spirited, the kind of girl who chooses thrift shops over chic department stores. When she moves to the small town of Arden Valley, New York, she's surprised to find that Sarah, her former best friend from sleep away camp lives there, too ... along with her longtime camp crush, Tyler. Even more to her shock, she discovers that her crush on Tyler is stronger than ever, even though she's no longer his type of girl. But guess who is? Sarah. That's right. They're dating. When Haley is offered the chance to become Miss Compatible, the school newspaper's anonymous relationship advice columnist, she takes it, hoping that it will help her win Tyler. But as things spiral out of control, going right and wrong, Haley is forced to ask herself who she really is ... and who she really is in love with.

    Only one chapter so far. Be brutally honest :)

  • darkartist9756
    4 years ago

    Just what i have so far?? be honest.

    Hardest Heart to Shatter

    Kara lives in Utopia, an alternate universe where her sole purpose is to do the dirty work of others. Grown up in an orphanage, Kara is now a Royal Assassin. She lives in luxury despite the risks she takes every day. But Kara knows nothing of her past before age 12, when she was taken from the orphanage and began training to be an assassin. Kara soon realizes that not all is perfect, even in Utopia, and begins to search for her lost memories. But wherever she goes, there seems to be a nagging presence following her. And what happens when an assassin of the highest ranks can't kill her next victim? Kara is about to find out.

  • mangopuppy
    4 years ago

    A wealthy man's guide to playing the violin well--or at least, up to the point of playing open strings. ;) Proven effective of 1 man tested, yay!

    Anyway, would love an honest critique! Would be great if you read all 7 parts. Thank you so much!! :D

  • Poindexter
    4 years ago

    I only ave the first three parts up, if you read that and tell me your opinion I'll be very thankful~

    Ethel and Eli are twins on the brink of separation. While nearing the age seventeen Eli knows he is to be drafted into the Union Army and fight against his younger sibling, who ran away to join the Confederates. The only way the twins can hope to be together is if they take an invitation to work for the eccentric and strange Dr. Abner Edwards. Seems simple enough, right?

    But Dr. Edwards has a secret, one that involves a world that might just live right beneath the ground, a negro who claims to have powers to see the unseen, and an exotic boy who claims to be from the future.

    How will the twins survive with an angry mob running after Eli, odd creatures attacking the patients, a civil war of another world effecting their own, or troubles with the time-space continuum? Never mind that, it's time for tea.

  • jasminealicia
    4 years ago

    @SadieLayli1232 Can you please critque my story? I appreciate any feedback you can give. Here is my link. My story is very short.

    Description: As I sit here, I can't help of think of my mistakes and regrets. This is of all my fault for the reason you are laying lifelessly on the bed at the moment. I pray that you wake up again so I can hear your sweet, seductive voice again, and see your precious eyes. - Olivia

  • Abigailz1128
    4 years ago


    Naomi was fourteen when her parents were killed, and she was left for dead. Her brother, Hunter, just ten. She ran. She ran from everything she knew, and never looked back, until now. Five years later, she begins to regret leaving her brother. So she makes a decision. One that could change her life forever. Throw in some boy drama, and you get one heck of a story. Only, for Naomi, it's real, not fictional.

    Thanks so much! :) and please read all three chapters! :)

  • dacerfreak
    4 years ago

    "Running Blind" It's about a girl who was blinded in a Junior Horse racing accident. Now, two years later she's trying to get back in the saddle despite her current obstacles.

    Could you just read 2-3 chapters please? Thanks so much! :)

  • YukiFeline
    4 years ago

    I've got 3.

    1. Beatrix Parker and her two best friends: Alexandra Peterson and Conny Rose encounter the grim reaper after resurrecting her grandmother using witch craft. This was the open door to resurrect her birth mother whom she knew nothing about. A deal was made and if they could survive 7 days of hell on earth, Beatrix, Conny, Alex and the boy Trevor could resurrect anyone of the deceased but during this little game of survival Beatrix found herself falling for the enemy


    Finding out you are homosexual isn't easy. Picking the right partner is an even harder adventure. Some get married, others spend the rest of their life in loneliness and others settle for less. One thing is for sure. You'r first love is somebody you will never forget (I know my poems need more work. i have momments saying that but I don't know what it needs. One say's its choppy but isn't this the way a poem is written? And another says it needs mor imagenation but --like what?)


    Victoria Alexander entrusted two strangers only to have her trust turn into a mistake. After getting violated by both men, this scorned woman demands justice. Three years later, Victoria, her lover Trina and close friends Jenny, Marcus and Johnny take the law into their own hands.

    (this one needs imporvment on grammer and speling. I know but anything else?)

  • _FairyLiquid
    4 years ago

    Title: Ember (A Hunger Games Fan-Fiction)

    Plot: Death. That's what awaits the tributes who are chosen to compete in the Hunger Games. And for sixteen-year-old Ivy Fox, this new fate is inevitable. This time around, the tributes are as strong and as furious as ever, so her chances of survival are even slimmer than she first imagined. One day into the training sessions shows her what she's up against, and the only way to come out alive is to show them what she's got - and if that's not enough, then nothing is.

    Thanks! I just posted this, like right THIS second, so critiquing would be really useful!

  • xWhiteLightning
    4 years ago

    Enshroud: An Avery Carter Novel

    By: Ryan Walker (rwalker)


    Genre: Thriller/Action

    Similar stories by these authors: Tom Clancy, Brad Thor, James Rollins, Vince Flynn, Robert Ludlum, Steve Berry, and of course the author of the Da Vinci Code Dan Brown

    Everything starts with the assassination of the Orthodox Patriarch in cold blood. From there a trinity of villainous terrorists come out from behind the curtain of the view of the modern world and began their deadly religious crusade backed by their millions of armed followers. Using terror tactics and assassinations, they coerce the political and religious scenes across the globe into total anarchy. Avery Carter and John Huxley are mobilized by the CIA's counter terrorism strike and investigation unit. Avery and John are thrust into a powerful global struggle with a determined force and they have to stop a looming World War III at any costs necessary.

    @SadieLayli1232 I want you to read eight chapters if that's okay with you...thx, feel free to read less if you aren't enjoying it. I just want your take on the story is all.

  • _Sequinsky_
    4 years ago
  • TashHill
    4 years ago


    Hate and love; both rooted in passion... Pain and pleasure; both craven... Immortal and mortal; both ruled by the animal within... When the fight between man and woman becomes a battle between mortal and immortal. When a boy learns that sometimes the darkness within is merely the absence of light; the very light that was hiding the man inside. After eighteen years of mortality - of ignorance -Draven Renati soon learns that the line between love and hate is often blurred. That sometimes the most beautiful, compelling, whispers hold the bloodiest of secrets. That the most torturous of pains can mask the most incredible of pleasures. Two men and two women. Four times the passion. Four times the pain. And all it took was a single nightmare...

    If you don't have much time the last chapter would be great, but since the plot is a bit confusing it may not make much sense. But if you could just let me know your' overall thoughts it would be great.

    Cheers xx