What just happened? He was so off kilter. He didn't know what to do or say. What to think or anything. He wasn't sure what happened. But he really wished that Rage and Joy hadn't come back when they did.
They almost kissed again. He wasn't sure why, but he almost kissed her. He almost kissed her this time. He didn't know what came over him to make him want to kiss her, but something did.
That same something is making him want to follow after and talk with her. To apologize for whatever made her run away.
He knew she was embarrassed. He knew that because he felt it. Once again, they were interrupted by someone. First a baby, now Rage and Joy. He didn't like the interruptions any more than she did, but he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't know what he could do. He doesn't know what he wants with her.
Its not like he knows this woman. She is someone that Rage granted stay to and just so happens to live next door. He knows she is a halfling, which makes him a little uneasy with the babies, and that she smells delicious. He knows that she likes to swim in the nude, just like he does. But that's where his knowledge ends. He doesn't know anything else. He doesn't know much about her. He wants to know, he just doesn't.
"We are sorry. If you had texted us, we would have waited to bring them back." Joy says as she takes Cree out of her carseat and lays her on a blanket, I wasn't aware of, on the floor.
"I... I... I don't know what happened." He tells her.
Rage laughs, "It looks like we interrupted something."
"That's the thing. I was just getting out of the shower when I heard a knock on my door. I assumed it was you. I thought maybe something was wrong with one of the babies, so I quickly answered the door. But there she stood on the porch looking at me. Staring at me. She said she came by to see if I needed help with the babies. I invited her in so I could get dressed. Don't ask me why. But while I was getting dressed, she cleaned the living room." He says, as he runs a hand through his hair. "I don't know what happened. I told her I appreciated it, and she seemed so shy about that. I went to her to make her believe me and well... You all walked in."
He looks from Rage to Joy and back again. Both of them are looking at him with mouths hanging open. He frowns at that. What did he say? Did he do something wrong? Should he have gone after Chastity? He didn't know what was expected at this point. He really didn't.
But before they could speak, a wave of sadness crashes into him. Like a rolling thunder. Gaining intensity. He clutches onto the back of his sofa to stabilize himself. The sadness keeps coming but soon is mixed with regret and self hatred. The emotions are overwhelming and they bring him to his knees.
Rage is at his side quickly and Joy sits with the babies. Passion has to close his eyes and try to breathe through the emotions.
What is happening to him? Why is he feeling like this? He was perfectly fine a few moments ago. What could be happening to him?
"Passion, are you alright?" He hears Rage ask.
All he can manage is to shake his head. No, he isn't alright. Something weird is happening to him and he doesn't know what it is. He cant explain what it is, and he certainly doesn't want to tell Rage about it.
"Take a few deep breaths and try to tell me whats wrong." Rage tells him.
He forces himself to take a few deep breaths. They seem to be helping but not too much. He continues to breathe deeply for a few minutes before he finally feels like he can speak.
"I... I am feeling emotions that aren't mine." He says.
Rage frowns. "Emotions that aren't yours? Are you sure?"
"Yes. I am feeling sadness, regret and self hatred. I don't feel either of those things." Passion tells him.
"It has to be Chastity." Joy says. "Who else would feel sadness and regret? Maybe I should go talk to her."
"No!" Passion says louder than he intended.
All eyes turn to him in confusion. Why had he said that? If Joy wanted to talk to her, why wouldn't he let her? If he was honest, he wanted to be the one to talk to her. He wanted to be the one to comfort her. He wanted to be the one to go to her. But because he had the babies, he couldn't.
He feared that the babies would hold him back from doing what he wanted. They stopped him from visiting with her last night. Their arrival back at the cabin stopped him kissing her, which he still cant decide if that was a good or bad thing.
If it wasn't for Rage and Joy showing up early that morning offering to take the babies out for a little fresh air so he could do what he needed to do, he didn't know what he would have accomplished. Though he only got a shower in. He hadn't meant to only get a shower. He wanted to do laundry, clean the entire cabin, and watch a bit of tv. But after the babies left with Rage and Joy, he found himself back in bed. Not to sleep.
Just thinking about what he did in that bed, with the thought of Chastity in the lake topless, has his cheeks flushing with heat. He shouldn't be thinking this in front of company or the babies. Let alone the Alpha, who can read his mind because of their Alpha-Beta relationship.
"Why not?" Joy asks pulling him out of his thoughts.
"I... I don't know." He says as he stands and walks to the kitchen.
He really didn't know.