Cas finally did fall asleep, after putting Hoagie on the floor, the day's events catching up with him. It was a shallow sleep, awkwardly curled up in the chair next to Dean's hospital bed, tense, with his fists tightly bunched and his jaw clenched. He wasn't dreaming, but his heart was still racing in his sleep, and he started violently awake, when someone touched him on the shoulder a couple of hours later.
'Did you have to wake him?' he heard Dean's voice say. 'He's adorable when he's sleeping.'
Cas looked around blearily, struggling to understand what he was looking at.
Dean was grinning at him sloppily, and Cas stared at him.
'What?' he mumbled, confused.
Dean took his hand and kissed it. 'Take your time.'
Cas's eyes travelled over the machines, Dean's face, and over the bruise peeking out from underneath Dean's hospital gown. 'Oh, Dean!' he gasped, remembering what had happened.
'It's okay,' Dean said brightly.
'Here, sweetie,' said Jody, passing him a bottle of pills. She was standing next to him, with her hand still on his shoulder. 'I brought you your meds. You left them at home.'
'Thank you.' Cas rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, slightly dizzy. 'Um - did - did we get any results yet?' he asked.
'Not yet,' said Sam.
Dean played with Cas's hand.
'How are you feeling?' Cas said to Dean.
'I feel great,' Dean laughed.
'They gave him morphine,' Sam told him.
'I see.' Cas pinched the bridge of his nose, while Jody leaned over the bed to give Dean a gentle hug.
'Don't scare us like that again, okay?' she said, tears glistening in her eyes.
'I'll do my best.'
She sniffed, regained her composure, and jerked her head behind her. 'Can I talk to you guys a sec?' she asked Sam and Cas.
Cas stood up, his head swimming slightly, and walked out behind the curtain with Sam.
'What's up?' Sam asked.
'I'm afraid this isn't just a social call,' Jody frowned. 'I caught this guy in your house, going through all your paperwork.' She showed Cas a picture of Chuck, and he sighed. 'You know him?'
'Yes. That's my father.'
'Your dad?' Sam said in disbelief. 'I thought he disappeared.'
'He came back. That's why Dean wasn't at work, I asked him to come home.' Cas's stomach clenched. 'It was the shock that - that- and if I hadn't-'
'Stop that,' Sam said firmly. 'We don't know what's wrong with him yet. Go on Jody.'
'I went in to get your meds, but he ripped up your power of attorney papers before I could stop him. Any idea why he'd do that?'
Cas thought about it. 'He came for my money. He thought I was dead, so he came to see if there was anything left.'
Sam's eyebrows rose so far up his forehead they almost disappeared into his hair. 'Wow, what a guy. Well, don't worry, I have a copy of your papers.'
Cas nodded. 'I imagine he's trying to go for the his being my father, so therefore should have care of me argument.'
Sam snorted. 'Good luck with that. From a legal standpoint, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. He hasn't seen you in over twenty years, he wouldn't have the first idea of what you'd want, and what decisions to make. No, don't worry about it.'
Cas sucked in a breath. 'Even still, he might try to access my accounts, I should freeze them.'
'Maybe not,' Sam said thoughtfully. 'Sure, he might try to access yours, say he's your dad, or whatever, but you could always move it over to Dean's accounts. He wouldn't get very far trying to get into those.'
'Good idea.'
Jody nodded. 'That all sounds great. What do you want me to do with him? I got him in a holding cell, you wanna press charges?'
'What kind of charges?' Sam asked.
Jody smirked. 'A few things. Trespassing, breaking and entering, destruction of property. You can't really get away with that stuff, if you do it in front of the sheriff.'
'Sounds great to me,' Sam said. 'What do you say, Cas?'
'All right,' he said distractedly. 'Did they take Dean's medical history yet?'
'I gave them all your files before I woke you up,' Jody smiled. 'The doctor said they were very thorough.'
'Good.'
Jody gave him a sympathetic look. 'All right, well I gotta go. Call me when you get an update, okay?'
'Sure thing, Jody,' said Sam. 'Come on, Cas, come sit down.'
Cas's chest loosened when they went back to Dean, and the machines were still beeping rhythmically.
Dean, grinned at him again. 'You okay, baby?' he slurred.
Sam rolled his eyes, and sat in another seat on Dean's other side.
'I'm fine, thank you, Dean,' Cas said fondly, stroking Dean's cheek and sitting beside him.
Dean just stared at him, smiling widely.
Cas fidgeted under his gaze.
'You're in an awfully good mood,' Sam smirked.
'Why wouldn't I be?'
'I don't know, probably the nearly dying thing.'
'Well, I didn't die, and I've got the most beautiful man in the world sitting right next to me.'
Sam puffed out his cheeks. 'Oh boy,' he muttered.
Cas rested an elbow on Dean's bed, so he could watch better, and look into Dean's green, unfocused eyes. 'Are you sure you're feeling all right?' he asked. 'Aren't you in pain?'
'A little, but nothing I can't handle.' He brushed his fingers along Cas's jaw. 'Don't you worry 'bout a thing, sweetheart.'
Sam looked as though he'd like nothing more than to sink into the ground. 'Are you really gonna make me listen to this?'
'Come on, Sam, look at him. Have you seen these eyes? How can you not love that?'
'Yeah, Dean, I've seen them. Been seeing them for over a decade now.'
Dean patted Cas's hand. 'You don't listen to him, he's just cranky 'cause he hasn't had his afternoon kale goop, or whatever.'
'Nice, Dean.'
'Can't be mean to me, Sammy, I'm sick.'
Sam just sighed loudly, but straightened up when the doctor pulled back the curtain.
'What's up, doc?' Dean laughed, and Sam groaned again.
'I just want to ask you some questions. We have an idea of what happened, but I just want to make sure we've got everything straightened out.'
'Gonna take an awful lot to straighten me out,' Dean joked.
'I'm sorry about him,' Sam said to the doctor.
'Don't worry, everyone reacts to morphine differently,' the doctor reassured him. He glanced at Sam, then down at his clipboard. 'Maybe you want to go get a coffee, or something? These are kind of personal.'
Sam waved a hand. 'It's fine.'
'I'll get started then.' The doctor flipped through his paperwork. 'Now, these records are all very helpful, but there's just a couple things missing, especially from the last year or so, it looks like. So, Dean, before this event, have you been experiencing any light-headedness, dizziness, anything like that?'
Dean thought about it. 'I think so. I thought it was just because of other stuff though.'
'Like what?'
'Uh, well, I got these anxiety pills, and, you know, he really wears me out,' Dean said pointing at Cas.
'Come on, Dean, be serious,' Sam complained.
'I am serious. He's a firecracker.'
'Cas, help me out here.'
Cas just pressed his lips together, not meeting Sam's eyes.
'I did say it would be personal,' the doctor said, doing his best to keep a straight face. 'Any chest pains, or palpitations?'
'A few, but like I said, I thought that was just the anxiety stuff.'
'How about you, you notice anything out of the ordinary?' the doctor asked Cas.
'No, I don't think so,' Cas frowned. 'He's been kind of breathless, but only after strenuous activity.'
The doctor made a note on his clipboard. 'Have you been more stressed than normal, recently?'
Dean snorted. 'You could say that.'
'He's been stressed by work, and by me,' Cas told him.
'By you?'
'Yes, I have some neurological issues, and he worries a lot.'
'I see.'
Dean tugged on Cas's sleeve.
'Yes, Dean?'
Dean giggled. 'Did it - did it hurt when you fell from heaven?'
'Oh my God,' Sam complained. 'That's really lame, even for you.'
Dean laughed again.
The doctor flipped over the page. 'Okay, so it says here you're in a recovery program, is that right?'
Dean nodded.
'How long have you been sober?'
Dean glanced at Cas. 'I had a slip up a while ago, but nearly thirteen years before that.'
'How much did you drink the last time?'
'It was a bottle of whiskey.'
The doctor nodded thoughtfully. 'All right, and how much on average were you drinking before you were sober?'
'I don't really remember.'
Sam cleared his throat. 'It was usually a whole one of those big bottles every couple days. More if it was a bad week.'
'And this went on for...?'
'Five - six years?' Sam said.
Cas bit his lip. If they had discussed the extent of Dean's drinking, he couldn't remember it.
Dean shrugged it off with a short laugh. 'They did always tell me it would come back to bite me in the ass, although you've done plenty of that already.' He nudged Cas, who tutted.
'All right,' the doctor said. 'That all fits nicely, there's just one more thing I need to rule out.'
'Shoot.'
The doctor glanced at Sam, hesitated, then opened his mouth. 'When was your last prostate exam? I can't seem to find the record in here.'
Dean sniggered. 'Probably last Sunday, right, Cas?'
Cas's cheeks burned, and Sam slapped a hand to his forehead. 'You're being very inappropriate,' Cas said firmly.
'Why don't you come over here and stop me?'
Sam stared straight ahead. 'I've gone back in time.'
Cas rubbed his face. 'It was about three years ago,' he said forcefully. 'All normal.'
'Then why isn't it in the file?'
Cas shrugged. 'I think I might have been on the night shift at the time. Dean was supposed to be in charge of keeping the paperwork in order.'
'Oops.'
'It could have been important, Dean,' Cas chastised.
'Oh, I'm sorry. Does it make you sad, baby?' Dean said, kissing Cas's hand.
'I think you might need to lower his dosage,' Sam grumbled.
The doctor tapped on his clipboard. 'All right, that's all I need for now. Just give me a few minutes, and I'll be back with your test results.'
'Thanks, doc,' Dean said, waving to him as he left.
Sam sighed deeply. 'I need a coffee. You want one?'
'No thanks.'
'I'd love one,' said Dean.
'Shut up,' Sam said, walking off.
'You should stop teasing your brother like that,' Cas said softly. 'He's just worried about you.'
'Ain't nothin' to worry about.'
'Of course there is, you were technically dead for twelve minutes.'
'I'm never in trouble if you're around,' Dean said. 'Now get down here and kiss me.'
Cas did as he asked, but questions buzzed in his brain.
'What's up?' Dean asked, seeing the questions on Cas's face.
'Did we ever talk about your drinking?' Cas asked.
'A couple times.'
'What made you stop?'
Dean didn't answer for a minute. 'My girlfriend at the time dumped me. She said she didn't want me around her kid, if I was gonna be wasted all the time.'
'Oh.'
'Nah, it's fine. She was right.'
'Even so, I'm sorry you went through it.'
'Don't worry about it, hot stuff, I never would have met you if she hadn't,' he said, patting Cas's knee.
Cas exhaled.
'You need to calm down before you stress yourself into a seizure,' Dean said, sounding more serious.
'I already did that.'
Sam returned and sat down heavily with his coffee.
'How you doin' there, Sammy?' Dean asked.
'Spectacular.'
Then the doctor came back again. 'All right, looks like we have a winner,' he said, handing Cas Dean's files back.
Sam sat up straight.
'It looks like you have what's called cardiomyopathy. It's some damage to your heart. Now, we think there was already some existing damage from your drinking, not enough to cause any trouble. At least not until recently. Your stress gave you high blood pressure, which caused more damage, and that's what set off your cardiac arrest.'
Dean whistled. 'Well, that sounds serious.'
'Can it be cured?' Sam asked, clasping his hands together.
'So that's the tricky part,' the doctor said, moving over to Dean's side. 'It's just on the edge of being severe damage, so we can give you some medications to control your blood pressure, and we might be able to reverse it.'
'Might?'
'It's not a guarantee, and I'm afraid you are at risk of repeat cardiac events.'
'Oh.'
The doctor let them all take a moment to absorb the information. 'What we'd like to do, is implant a device into your chest. It can detect abnormal heart rhythms, and can even administer shocks to correct it.'
'What, like a pacemaker?'
'Sort of, but not quite. A pacemaker's usually for someone whose heart rate is too slow. What you're getting is a small defibrillator, since your heart has an arrhythmia that makes it flutter, but not pump any blood.'
'So, you just put it in my chest?'
'Yep. So the wires would go here,' the doctor said, drawing a line down Dean's chest with his finger, 'and the generator would go under your skin on your side, right under your arm here.'
To their surprise, Dean laughed. 'Cool, so I'll be like a cyborg, or something?'
'Uh, sort of,' the doctor said.
Cas clenched his fists, and breathed slowly, trying to keep himself calm. 'May I see those?' he said, reaching out for the test results.
'Can you read them?'
Cas nodded, taking the papers.
'Were you a doctor?'
'A nurse. ER, orthopedics, then pediatrics. I've been around.' He quickly read through it, and looked at the device they were recommending. 'This isn't the same as other ICDs I've seen,' Cas said, handing the papers back.
'This one's better than your traditional device. No snaking any wires into the heart, for a start.'
'That's always a bonus. Can I have a copy of these? For my records?'
'Of course. I'm going to schedule the surgery for tomorrow morning, and see how we are from there.'
'Awesome, thanks, doc.'
'I'll be back to check on you later.'
All three of them sat in silence, once the doctor was gone.
Sam rubbed his hands together. 'Wow,' he said eventually.
'You can say that again. We got a bad brain,' he said, pointing at Cas, 'and a bum heart. Now all we need's a cowardly lion and a yellow brick road. How 'bout it, Sam? You got the hair for it.'
'Yeah, maybe for Halloween,' Sam said, rolling his eyes.
'You do that anymore, they're gonna roll right out of your head.'
'He can't do that, if he goes without rolling his eyes for too long, he'll just die,' Cas said with a small smirk.
'You guys are hilarious,' Sam huffed. 'At least we know what this is, so we can work on fixing it.'
'You should go home, Sam,' Dean said.
Sam looked at him as though he'd grown a second head. 'What? What are you talking about, I'm not going anywhere.'
'Look, I'm gonna be okay, you should go and get some rest. Be with your family. Give Mary a big hug for me.'
'You're my family, Dean.'
'I won't tell you again, Sam,' Dean said sternly. 'Go home. Take Cas with you.'
'Please, you got even less chance of getting rid of him than you have of getting rid of me.'
'I won't leave you here,' Cas said.
'Come on, guys, you can come back tomorrow.'
'Absolutely not. I'm staying here.'
'Me too,' Sam insisted.
Dean rolled his eyes and pointed at Sam. 'You're going home. End of discussion.'
'Oh, and Cas gets to stay?'
Dean looked at Cas, and sighed. 'Yes, he does. Can't say no to that face. Yours, I can.'
'That's crap, Dean, I-'
'Sam, please,' Dean said, rubbing his chest. 'I just want some time alone.'
Sam swallowed, glanced at Cas, and said, 'Fine. But I'll be back here first thing in the morning, got it?'
'Whatever, just get outta here already.'
'I'll call you if anything changes,' Cas said quietly.
'Okay. See you in the morning, I guess.' Sam reluctantly walked away, and Dean leaned back against his pillows.
'Hey, gorgeous,' he said softly, gazing at Cas. 'How you doin'?'
'Don't worry about me.'
'You sure you'll be alright sleepin' in that chair?'
Cas chuckled. 'You never saw me sleep standing up in the break room. This is child's play.'
'I really wish you went with Sam. I don't want you all tired and frazzled. It's not good for you.'
'Being with you is good for me.'
'But what if you get sick?'
'What better place than the hospital.'
'Cas-'
'That's enough, Dean,' Cas snapped. 'I'm in better shape than I've been in a long time. You have to stop worrying.'
'Cas-'
'No, Dean. Worrying about me is what got you here in the first place.'
'Hey, don't you dare do that. This is not your fault. I did this to myself. You're my priority, and you always will be, so suck it up.'
'That's precisely my point. I have a really good support system now, so why can't you stop focusing on me, and focus on getting yourself better?'
'I can't.'
'Don't be ridiculous, of course you can.'
'Cas, stop. Listen to me a minute, okay?' Dean took a deep, shuddering breath. 'I can't think about it right now. I need to concentrate on something else, at least until they put the thing in me that'll keep my heart going. So, please just - just let me pretend that I'm not really scared right now. Please?'
'Oh, Dean,' Cas whispered.
'I'm trying really hard not to freak out, so humour me, okay?'
Cas nodded, pulled himself together, then leaned down to whisper in Dean's ear. 'All right, Dean, you just keep your pretty little ass in that bed. I'm gonna read to you now, but when you go to sleep, I want you to imagine all the things I'm going to do to you when you're better.'
Dean's face cracked into a smile again. 'You know, I've never been all that imaginative, so why don't you just tell me?'
'Well now, that would ruin the surprise,' Cas murmured. 'I've got The Hobbit on my phone, do you want to read it with me?'
'I'd like that.'
Cas pulled it up on his phone. 'You read this to me to try to wake me up,' he said. 'Was it hard? With your Dyslexia?'
'Nah, I had the thing basically memorised from when my mom used to read it to me,' Dean told him.
'You read it to me anyway.'
'Yeah, I would have tried anything to wake you up.'
Cas kissed Dean. 'You're going to be okay, I know you are,' he said.
'Cas...'
'I'm going to get Sam to bring you some chapstick, so we can fix these lips,' he said, mouth twitching.
Dean snorted. 'Just get on with the damn book.'
'Whatever you say.' Cas cleared his throat. 'In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort...'
Dean was asleep before he got any further, but Cas was far from slumber himself.
As soon as he was certain that Dean was asleep, he held his head in his hands and wept, then paced around Dean's curtained-off area. Then, he used his phone to research as much as he could.
He was still researching when Dean woke up the next morning.
'What are you still doing awake?' Dean mumbled.
'Nothing,' Cas lied, tucking away his phone.
'I'm starving.'
'You can't eat before surgery.'
'Surgery. Right.'
'You can have some ice chips.'
'Lame.'
Sam arrived bright and early, with a large coffee for himself, and handed one to Cas. 'Did you sleep at all?' he muttered.
'No,' Cas murmured back. 'You?'
'No.'
'It's going to be all right, Sam,' Cas said, nodding firmly, as a couple of porters came to take Dean away.
'The surgery should only take a few hours,' the doctor told them, and we'll bring him back here after.'
'Thanks,' Sam nodded.
'Hey, come here,' Dean called to them, before they wheeled him out. He pulled Cas down for a kiss. 'I love you more than anything,' he said, smiling brightly. 'And you, Sam. You're the best brother a guy could ask for. I'll see you guys in a little bit, all right?'
'Yeah, see you soon, Dean.' Sam patted Dean's shoulder. 'Real soon.'
They watched as Dean was wheeled from the room, standing on the ward.
'Come on, Cas. I'll get you some breakfast.'
'I'm not hungry.'
'I'll get you some breakfast,' Sam repeated, putting an arm around his shoulders, and leading him out of the ward. 'We'll see him after.'