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Mute
"Holy shit it has been way too fucking long" Mel yelled out when Scars and Kitana get out of the car once they pulled up. I stood upon the hood of the car with a big smile on my face when I saw my other best friends.
"Girl you're crazy, we saw you last fucking month at the wedding" Scars yells back, I could see Kitana roll her eyes before hugging Mel, I threw Kitana a beer before she joined me up on the hood.
"I meant getting drunk," Mel says. I hugged Scars when she jumped up too. Mel was the last one to come up before we all came together in a huddle, they shouted "WE FUCKING MISS YOU BIRDIE!" as I held up my beer bottle.
"Damn it's been 4 years since she's been gone," Scars says once we took a seat on the sand around the fire, listening to music. I stared at the fire as I sipped my beer. Four years was a long time without a friend that you had gotten super close with, each of these girls knew why I didn't talk and they understood why I chose not to. I don't even think they heard my voice, like ever…
People have asked me why I don't talk and when I think about it, it reminds me that while I was telling the guy to stop it was like I wasn't heard. As much as it hurt to be in that situation, watching one of my best friends die in front of me was the worst. I would give my life for her to be here, maybe she could have found a guy and had children.
I sighed as I shook my head and drank the rest of my beer before getting up and grabbing another one. As the night went on we all became drunk as we told stories of our time in prison together. "We need more beers" Mel yells out, before tripping over her feet, making us all laugh. 10 minutes later we were all in one car driving to the clubhouse, it was all a blur but I managed to get us there safely.
We stumbled out of the car and into the clubhouse, giggling as we went. I nearly tripped over my feet but Scars caught me. "Jesus Christ Mel, you're all drunk?" I heard someone say but Scars and I went over to the bar and grabbed whatever we could get our hands-on.
Beer, whiskey, vodka anything.
As I walked out of the bathroom I looked down the hall that led to some of the dorms I saw two people kissing but when I realised who it was, I looked away. When I looked back I saw that he was looking at me while the girl kissed his neck, I saw him smirk slightly as he pushed her against the wall. Ricki's hands were all over her body that way they used to be on mine, as he kissed her it was like he was trying to make me jealous for what I had said the other day. And I was jealous. I was jealous of a sweetbutt…
I felt like I was going to throw up, so I went back to the bathroom but I heard a girl giggle before the door closed. I looked in the mirror and thought to myself that this was all my fault, it was my fault that we weren't together anymore. It was my fault that I went to that stupid party, it was my fault that I started the stupid fight between us all because I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps.
My fucking fault that I had lost the only person I had ever loved.
When I looked into the mirror again I noticed that I was crying and I hated it. I hated who I had become because of one stupid night.
My hands curled into fists and before I knew it I had smashed the mirror in front of me. Glass had gotten everywhere and blood started to drip down my hand but I wasn't in the mindset to care about it, so I left the bathroom. I left the clubhouse through the back door, I even climbed the fence just to get away from it all. As I walked down the road, I looked back and the lights of the compound grew smaller, I shook my head and kept walking until someone pulled up beside me asking if I needed a ride.
*******
"What the fuck happened?" I jumped when I heard my brother yell as I walked up the footpath that went to our front door. It had taken me all morning to get to New York and then once I got here I just walked everywhere, I didn't want to go home. I didn't want anyone to ask me questions. My phone died at about 9 this morning.
I shook my head and walked past him. "Your friends have been calling non-stop, said that you left and didn't even bother to tell anyone," Miguel says as he follows after me inside the house, I walked past my father as he sat on the couch watching tv.
"Mireya I'm talking to you!"
"I don't give a fuck Miguel! Just leave me the fuck alone" I shouted at him as I turned around. It was the first time in years that I had spoken a word to my brother without using my hands to sign. My brother and my father both stare at me in shock.
"You…" my brother was like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth but I rolled my eyes and went to my room. I wasn't in the mood.
I grabbed some clean clothes and went to the bathroom, once I was done I returned back to my room. I grabbed my tin that had my joints and lit one up before I even thought about relaxing.
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Enjoy!