The next two weeks Michael and I texted every day, except for when he was busy with rehearsals, concerts and public appearances of some sort. ...which was pretty much all the time. Yes, he was busy. Super busy. But what else was to be expected of one of the world's biggest pop stars? Nevertheless, he always made time for a text here and there, and we were talking on the phone almost every night before we went to bed. It became a routine, sort of.
"...and then LaVelle told her that her hairdo made Albert Einstein's look like a five star. Can you believe that? I almost felt sorry for her."
"Almost?" I giggled.
"Exactly. She's always so rude to everyone, that she actually deserves to be yanked down a few notches."
"Can't you just steal her heels, then? I'm pretty sure a woman like that has heels tall enough to cover up for the lack of brain cells underneath her golden mane. Just like men who drive fancy cars to compensate for the lack of inches in their pants."
"What?" Michael laughed.
"You know. The bigger the car, the smaller you are."
"That's crazy."
I crushed a raspberry candy with my teeth to make it easier to talk, only to forget the purpose and pop a new one into my mouth right after.
"I need to call my manager and tell him to get rid of my limo, then," Michael said, still chuckling.
"No, no. Not that kind of big. Big as in horse power. You know, expensive sports cars and such. Cars with muscles like bodybuilders close to overdosing on steroids. Still though, they barely have enough space to bring a tiny, nip tucked girlfriend and her evil chihuahua. Come to think about it, I don't think big dicks can even fit in cars like that."
Michael was laughing so hard I was sure DeeVana could hear it from across the hall, even with both our doors closed. But she didn't bother to say anything.
"I think you should go for a Beetle. Or maybe a Prius. They're cute."
It took a while before Michael managed to calm down enough from his fit of laughter so he could talk, and I pictured him wiping his tears while his curls poked out in all directions, after rolling around on his bed.
"I've never heard of a cute car before."
"You haven't? Then you should have seen mine," I smirked, trying to keep from giggling.
"Oh? What kind of car is that?"
"I don't know. I haven't bought one yet. But I am saving money for it, though. I think I have about four hundred dollars. No, wait. I spent them on shoes last week. So... Uh."
We laughed like idiots until we both sighed, almost in unison.
"God, I love this," Michael said.
"Cute cars?"
"No, just talk about anything that comes to mind."
"Oh."
"And the fact that you're thinking about my dick is a bonus," he added, with a voice that suddenly sounded deep and mischievous.
"What? I'm not! I wasn't... I mean... No, I didn't mean... Oh, snap. It did sound like that, didn't it?"
I groaned into my pillow, wanting to dig myself to China.
"Well," he chuckled. "How about a Mini Cooper?"
"Oh, I love those!" I exclaimed, insanely relieved that he didn't comment any further on it. But of course...
"But you're right. I am pretty large."
"Oh, my God," I huffed, desperate to change the subject. Except, the subject was fine as fuck. It was just really weird to talk to him about it. With Gabby? Sure. But not Michael in person.
"That's what she said," he mumbled.
"Okay! Now it's established and we can move on from dicks to... Ducks! Yes. The fluffy, yellow ones that say 'quack'."
I mentally sobbed in self-inflicted humiliation.
"What about ducks?"
"They're cute!" I whined childishly.
"Cute cars, cute ducks. What else is cute?"
"Jake," I teased.
"So, me then?" he murmured.
"No, the teddy bear I'm hugging right now. He's really soft and nice."
"Soft..."
"Perfect for cuddling," I sighed happily, then snuggled into his giant tummy and pulled his arms around me. They were too short though, so they didn't make it all the way. But they reached far enough to make it easy to visualize it was the man I was talking to who was hugging me, and not just a teddy bear.
"And now I'm jealous of a teddy bear."
"You have no reason to be. Your hug was nicer," I stated truthfully, and I heard a self-satisfied hum at the other end.
"Really? Hm. Strange. I don't remember any hug," he teased. "I think I need another one to make sure I remember it better."
"Hey! That was the best hug ever! And you don't remember?"
I knew he did. I just took the bait because he wanted me to.
"Nope. And since I have a selective memory, you'll need to give me more than one to make sure I don't forget again."
Oh, I'll give you more than a hug, I thought to myself. Then I giggled because that made it sound like I had a lot of experience on that field, when in reality I was a complete amateur. The closest thing to almost having sex was with Big Daddy; a way too large pink dildo that glowed in the dark; a present from a smirking Gabby on my sweet sixteenth. And it wasn't even properly hard!
"It increases the pleasure that it's flexible," Gabby had explained, while I desperately tried to hide it from my mom, who was there when I unwrapped it. "And the glitter is quite fascinating since it glows in the dark."
Needless to say, I didn't talk to her for the entire following week. But...
...I kept it.
"I'll consider giving you two, then," I joked, but I think he already knew I'd probably hang around his neck like a koala if we ever met again. And as if Michael had read my thoughts, he asked exactly that question.
"Wanna visit me before I leave for Europe?"
"Why do you even ask?"
He chuckled nervously. Why was he nervous?
"I wish you could come this week, but I have so many things scheduled that I wouldn't have any time to see you."
"But I don't wanna steal your time," I said, feeling a bit bad about it. I knew how busy he was.
"You're not! I honestly need a break from all my duties anyway, and I really want to see you again. And not only for five minutes."
I smiled like I had a banana stuck sideways in my mouth.
"Likewise."
"So you'll come?"
"Of course!"
Then I hesitated and became acute anxious.
"Can I bring Gabby?"
He chuckled, but I think he knew why I didn't want to travel alone, even though we hadn't talked directly about it.
"If she doesn't mind being the third wheel."
"Oh, I'll just slap her head until she stops whining."
"Mmm... I like that idea, if you just lower your hand a little, to her..."
"Michael! Behave!" I gasped, wide-eyed. "Don't even think about it. I'm not into that kind of stuff."
"Have you ever tried?"
"I..."
"How about threesomes, then?"
"No! I wouldn't even consider it."
"Okay. Good to know, I guess."
"You guess? You better get your mind elsewhere until we're visiting, if not everything will turn awkward."
Dammit! Now I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of being intimate with him. Was he as large as he claims to be? Did he really mean any of the things he said, or was it just the way he was? A natural flirt? But when he said his next few words, I believe I got my answer.
"Hey, Mia?"
"Mhm?"
"I think I can make you say other things, too."
"What do you mean?"
"Like that 'oh, my God'? Only you won't be able to talk. You'll scream."
"Wha...?!"
"Sleep well, beautiful. Talk to you tomorrow."
*click*
<><><>
Michael was done touring America on May 6th, and according to him, Minneapolis had been a blast. Like last time, he booked us in at first class, and the limo was waiting for us outside the airport. And this time I didn't mind. If he kidnapped us, I would actually look forward to it.
"Holy cat crap, Mimi. This is even better than the hotel in Houston."
I just mumbled an answer since my mouth was full of chocolate, and I was busy putting down my bags so I could admire the view.
"I've never been in a suite before. Have you?"
I shook my head and kept munching.
"You have a serious health threatening addiction to sweets, are you aware of that?" she said with accusation dripping from each word, but I just rolled my eyes, opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue.
"EW! That's disgusting! It looks like you've licked a camel's ass."
I burst out laughing.
"What? You don't like seefood?"
"Ha, ha... Really funny. Not. Besides, I prefer seafood like shrimps and crabs, so I'll pass on the diaper diet. That's all your thing."
She paused just briefly.
"When are we going to meet Michael?"
"I don't know. I was told to stay here until he picks us up."
We looked at each other with worried eyes.
"Let's just hope he doesn't drive himself."
Then we started laughing.
"You know, this is the absolute perfect timing."
"For what?" I frowned, before I let myself fall back on the bed and drown in soft, fluffy pillows and what appeared to be satin bed sheets.
"Popping that cherry of yours."
I gasped and sat right back up, instantly glaring at my best friend.
"Don't you dare say anything about that in Michael's presence! Do you hear me? Not a word, or I'll kick your ass into the next century."
"Whatever you say, Prudence."
"I'm not a prude!"
Ignoring me completely, she started digging into her suitcase, then her bag, in search of something. And when she found it, she held it up in the air, painfully clear for me to see.
A ten pack of condoms.
"To prevent the next generation of the human race from your inhumane smacking."
"Gabby! Will you..."
"Four more days, Mia."
She held up four fingers as if I was a foreigner who didn't understand English.
"Four!"
"I'm tellin' ya, it's not gonna happen. Focus on pampering your own glory hole instead."
Gabby started laughing like crazy and threw the condoms in my direction. I, of course, dodged it like it was the plague. It fell on the floor next to the bed.
"Do you even know what a glory hole is?"
"Yeah?" I shrugged, and Gabby challenged me with her attitude.
"It's your... You know. Your vajayjay?"
"Your what? Jesus, girl. Grow the fuck up. It's vagina, and no, you're wrong."
I raised my eyebrows, and felt my cheeks turning warm while I waited for an answer I already knew would be beyond embarrassing.
"It's a public toilet where someone has drilled a hole between two stalls next to each other, and then some random guy sticks their..."
"Gabby! I don't want to hear anymore!" I yelled, with eyes as wide as flying saucers.
"...cock through it, and the girl has fun in whichever way she desires."
"I didn't need to know that, bitch!"
"Obviously you did. And maybe you should try it, if you don't allow Michael to plow your field this week."
"I swear to God, Gabby! If you don't shut up about this, I'm gonna amputate your mouth and donate it to a dog shelter as snacks. If they eat dried pig ears, I'm sure they won't mind that filthy mouth of yours."
But Gabby just smirked. Then she pulled up some clean clothes and walked toward the bathroom.
"Whatever you say, prissy. I'm heading for the shower. And you should get ready for one when I'm done. And make sure you shave."
"What the hell?"
I already did that...
"You heard me."
Then she slammed the door shut and I heard the sound of the shower and her way too cheerful humming. I was so embarrassed that I even felt awkward in my own company. Thank God nobody was here right now! But of course, that relief didn't last long, because before I knew it there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" I asked while stumbling towards it, not really expecting an answer. It was probably just one of the hotel staff anyway. But it wasn't. The person standing outside was Michael Jackson. My all time crush and new best friend. The popstar, yet a completely normal and humble man. The definition of perfection.
I was so startled that I forgot all about my koala abilities, hugging the air out of him as soon as I saw him. Heck, I even forgot my ability to exist. And I didn't move until he cleared his throat and gave me a coy, lopsided grin.
"Can I come in? I don't want to be seen by..."
"Of course! Come! I... Uh."
Michael bit his lip and studied me with amusement. Then he cocked his head and smiled even wider.
"Even more gorgeous than I remembered."
I moaned spontaneously, and slapped my hand over my mouth when I realized that the sound came from me. Then Michael's gaze shifted to something behind me, and he chuckled.
"Mia?"
"Eh... Yes?"
"What's that on the floor?"