TW: Talks of Abuse and Death
"Outside of these four walls you don't care about me." I said, I was used to being alone and I hated the pitty that he felt for me.
"You don't know that, I care for all of my patients." Spencer said, I didn't have a chance to take in his appearance. I had been so busy trying to avoid his gaze that I hadn't noticed that he was dressed casually in a sweater and a pair of jeans.
"That's what they all say, I'm on my fifth doctor now."
"Bea, whether you want to accept it or not I'm here for you." He reached his hand out and placed it over mine in a comforting manner.
"Thanks." I said sarcastically.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked I knew where this was headed.
"About what?" I asked playing dumb.
"The bruise on your face, who gave it to you?" His eyes burning into mine.
"I did, I'm clumsy." I quipped. I knew he wasn't going to buy it.
"You know it's not your fault."
"I don't understand what is so hard for you to understand. No one is hurting me." I said swallowing the lump in my throat. "I've got shot balance and two left feet."
"Okay." He said taking his hand away from mine. A part of me wanted to scream, I know it was dumb of me to not admit to what was happening but I knew it would be even worse for me.
I didn't have any family and was barley getting by, if I was to leave I'd be back on the streets and I don't know what was worse.
"Have you spoke to either of your parents?"
"No."
"Can you walk me through your last encounter with your mother?"
"She cornered me while I was at work, asking for me to forgive her. I was so angry, so I punched her." I said smirking.
"Someone called the police?" He asked and I nodded. "And you were arrested."
"Arrested is so harsh. I was simply given a ride to the police station, where I spent the rest of my afternoon."
"Charges were dropped?" He asked and I nodded.
"The only condition was that I seek 'help' for my anger issues." I said referring as to why I was here.
"Do you think you have anger issues?" I rolled my eyes at this question, it was something that was always attached to me.
'Bea is so angry' No shit. When you've had a life like mine you have the right to be a little angry.
"Now that's a dumb question even for you doctor."
"Right."
"I feel like this is such a one-sided conversation doctor, I'm not learning anything about you."
"You do realize we are here for you, right?" He chuckled lightly.
"Well, you see I don't pay for any of this so I don't really care what we do this whole time." I said kicking my shoes off and bringing them up onto the chair.
"Well, I guess it's only fair."
"How old are you?"
"Thirty."
"You seem younger." I said looking at his baby face.
"Thanks, I think." He said a light blush appearing on his cheeks.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" I asked noting that there was no ring on his finger.
"No, I'm far too busy for that."
"I keep you busy." I said jokingly again his cheeks flared up.
"You, along with everyone else on my caseload."
"Mostly me." I said batting my eyelashes."Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
"One, when I was in my early twenties. It didn't end well."
"How so?"
"She had this crazy stalker that ended up killing her as well as themselves." He said with a hint of sadness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry." I said trying to catch his gaze, I understood that this was a topic that was probably off limits for him.
"Do you?" He asked attempting to change the subject.
"Do I what?"
"Have a boyfriend?" He asked trying to avert his gaze.
"What makes you think I don't have a girlfriend?" I saw his face deadpan and instant regret is all over his face.
"I'm fucking with you." I said laughing so hard I almost fell out of the small leather chair. "I do."
"How did you two meet?" He asked.
"At a club, we were both crossed. It's such a romantic tale."
"Crossed?" He asked, unsure of what I meant.
"Drunk and High." I said rolling my eyes, of course he had no idea what I was talking about.
"You're a user?" He asks, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
"I used to smoke a lot a couple of years ago."
"What made you stop?"
"Work, I guess. I had to be drug tested so often." It didn't help that I had to switch jobs so often to help comply with the lawyers wishes.
"How long have you two been together?"
"Five years."
"Wow, that's quite long." I nodded my head, I never really thought about it.
Ethan was my first relationship, of course I had already been kissed and had sex by this point but I had never actually been with someone in such a way.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm with him out of pure convenience, I mean who else will want me?" I said letting out a small chuckle.
"I'm sure that's not true."
"No really, before Ethan I was living in my car and I spent most of my days roaming the streets."
"But you got on your feet, don't give someone else credit for your success."
"I'm not so sure I've succeeded."
_
By the time I get home the sun is setting down and I know that I'm going to be walking into a hurricane.
"Hey baby." I said to Ethan, he was sitting on the couch watching a rerun on some show that was on in the nineties.
"Hi babe." He said patting the seat next to him. I breathed a little easier knowing that he was in a good mood.
I quickly kicked off my shoes and dropped my bag on the floor. I missed this side of Ethan, the side of him that would still call me a variation of a pet name and want to run his finger through my hair.
I quickly sat down next to him and curled up on his lap, I could never find the heart to tell him that I didn't care much for the television. As if on cue his fingers wove their way through my hair massaging the areas that were still a little tender from our altercation a few days prior.
"You know I love you, right?" He said continuing to rub small patterns against my skull.
"I know baby, I love you too." I said rubbing small circles on his knee. I felt him halt his comforting touch and begin to hoist me up to sit on his lap.
"I mean it Bea. I love you so much."
I quickly leaned forward and planted a soft kiss against his lips. He turned his head slightly deepening the kiss.
"I love you so much." I said against his lips. He didn't notice the small tear slipping down my cheek.