we back with the awful titles. here ya go! pls read, vote, share, comment, follow -- it means so much to me! thanks to everyone who reads my poetry, y'all are amazing. i think i'll double post today... special thanks to Bruhimkelly, Stressedflower4, sssunshine1, ProlificScribbler, Vamprixussa, leolantsov, yalieen_, luckyblobfish for reading these :)
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sometimes
it feels like you are
stifling
me like you are
suppressing
my abilities
as if giving me
a little more of what
i want
what would make me
normal
could ever help
i've thought about
talking about this
problem
but i don't think
it would change your
minds
about anything
and even if it would
i'm not
ready
to talk about it
not to you
sometimes
it feels like you
value
other things
more than what
i have to offer
like my skills
aren't going to get
me anywhere
i don't really care
because i know that
he
is going to get farther
than me
and that's fine
because he
deserves it
more than i do
and maybe if i'm
lucky
i'll find
some kind of
happiness
from something
or somebody
sometimes
it feels like you are
disappointed
in me
or who i am
or something like
that
but so am i
and i've
accepted it
i've accepted that
i may never
love
myself
and i've accepted
that people don't
understand
what that's like
and i'm glad
that they don't
because
they deserve
happiness
sometimes
i feel like it's my
responsibility
to take care of him
to shelter him
to give him the
love that he might
not get from you
it's why i'm still
here
so thank yourselves
for the full circle
of pain
for starting it
and giving me something
that keeps me from
ending it
and honestly
i don't trust you with
him
you might be good
at teaching
or helping
but you will never
be good at
keeping your mouths shut
and giving him
what he wants
because sometimes
what you want is what
you need
and i didn't get that
and i'd never
forgive myself
if he was crying
because of you
and i wasn't there to
hold him
so there
that's the truth
the honest truth
and i'm wincing
to think of you reading this
and i'm imagining
myself fleeing the
room
because i can't face
you
and i can see the disbelief
on your faces
and then the hurt
because you think that
i am blaming this
on you
but it is your fault
you might not remember
but i do
sometimes
it feels like i should
be sorry
for you when you
read this
but i'm all out of
sorry
because i used it
up
on myself