11:34 p.m., nearing midnight. The speakers are playing Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood, laptop on my lap, thinking about what I should write to alleviate this feeling.
The day went quite well, considering I laughed and spent time with my bestfriend, Imran, reminiscing the memories and the journey we had up until this moment. It's an eye-opening conversation. There are so many things I should be grateful of; my family, my friends and most importantly, myself.
My life was not exactly awful. It was great, well, I was a bit spoilt, and there's so many things to be grateful for. Losing her is just a part of life. My life. It's not the end of everything.
We bought almost RM100.00 worth of junk food and ice-cream at Tesco, and we went home.
And I was doing so good until I decided to do something stupid. Imran was playing Minecraft with her girlfriend and my little brother, talking with each other in Discord. I played Wild Rift, just to distract myself from the unholy memories of me and her. They will haunt me when I am idle, which makes it obvious that I should not sit still and wait for them to haunt me.
I went on to open my Minecraft, and joined their server.
And that was the mistake. All the memories came back and haunted me.
There was a time when Athena joined us and played Minecraft with me and my siblings. It was funny, considering she is inexperienced. She was never a gamer. She'd follow my little sister, and I'd try to build something for her. We had some good laughs back then.
Her voice. Her silliness.
I inhale.
Fuck.
I guess the road to moving on and forgetting you might be longer than I expected.