[So if we knew all along
Why did it take so long?]
THREE WEEKS LATER
A few weeks later, the Adventurous Adventures of Emily Marquez have taken a massive turn. Adjusting to the early pregnancy life has been... Weird. For starters, I've been needing to pee a lot and getting used to the morning sicknesses has been hell. Hiding the prenatals and stuff for myself has been hard because Niall looks in all the places that I try hiding them in. But luckily, he hasn't been staying over so he doesn't see me get sick or take my vitamins.
"Yes, Yomara, I took my vitamins." A smile spread on my face and my eyes rolled at her concern. Ever since the doctor's appointment a few weeks ago, and her being the only person to know about the being growing inside me, she's been calling me every day. Which I was extremely thankful for.
"I was just checking, Em."
"I know, which is why I promised that I would take care of myself. And I am."
"Just being a good nina is all." She assures.
Ever since I found out about this, I've been looking at website after website, trying to educate myself since I had no idea how pregnancy worked. So far, everything seemed fine and things that I could handle. But, that still didn't calm my nerves and panic about the possibility of something bad happening. As for Niall, I'm just afraid of telling him too soon. I don't want to see the disappointment when I tell him that I lost our only chance of having a baby because of my fertility damage. This baby is a miracle. I don't want to tell him until I'm sure that the baby is safe from harm.
When I hung up with Yomara, I put my phone down and continued to drink the water I had and watch TV. "Emily!" Niall called, about 15 minutes later. He entered the apartment with a plastic bag of Chinese food. "I bought us lunch." He says, kissing my temple and sitting beside me on the couch.
"Awe. Thanks. I've been starving." I thanked, sitting up as he began to take out containers and utensils.
"Got your favorites," He says, taking out the last packets of soy sauce and hot sauce. "Chow mein, orange chicken..." He listed them all out and opened some of the containers to check them. "Beef and broccoli, and rice." He smiles, handing me the container of orange chicken. I take the container and my smile falls when the smell makes my stomach churn.
I quickly put it down and ran to the bathroom. I would really appreciate this pregnancy if the baby wouldn't make me vomit multiple times a day. I kneeled over the toilet and let it all out for the second time today. Niall kneeled over me and rubbed my back, removing my glasses in the process. "What's been going on with you, Em? It's like every time I bring something, you get sick from it." He sighs as I finish and lean back on the tub and flush the toilet. I shrugged, but I obviously knew what's been making me sick.
"I'll be back, I'm going to go get your stomach medicine." He mumbled, standing up and going to my room where I left the medicine. I didn't think being so early in the pregnancy would result in throwing up so much. I knew it would be the morning sicknesses and such, but I didn't think that small things like that would trigger it. I have to look over those papers again... SHIT THE PAPERS!
"No, Niall! Don't!" That was the fastest that I've gotten up since I found out. I went into my room and saw Niall standing next to my bed with his back to me, looking down. Reading the papers.
"Emily, what is this?" He asked, turning around to face me. He didn't sound angry or upset, more confused if anything. I wanted to lie and say that Yomara's papers were under my name and I was just looking to see if she needed anything, but I knew better than to lie to Niall. Especially about his baby.
When I stayed quiet, Niall looked up, clutching the stapled papers in one hand, turning them so that I would see what they were. "Emily... What the hell is this?" I felt my heart start to pound as his voice started to raise. I tried to say something, anything, but nothing came out. "Are you pregnant?" I wanted to come out and beg for him to listen to me and hear me out, but I felt like I couldn't. "Emily." He said again. His grip tightened on the papers, now crumpling where his fist was. It made me a bit scared that he was trying to control his anger instead of bursting out because I wasn't prepared for it. Not that it would really make a difference in his temper, I nodded, already fearing for what was to come. I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to wait, tell him good news that we were going to have a baby, but those plans were blown away. "You're pregnant." He confirms with a nod. "And I didn't know this because...?"
I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. "Why didn't you tell me this before, Emily? These were dated three fucking weeks ago. But let me guess, Yomara knows." I nodded again, looking down. I felt ashamed that I didn't tell him. "You have to be fucking around to be this stupid, Emily!" He snaps. "I know you'd never keep something like this from me." He began to pace, rubbing his temples and his other hand at his waist, still holding the papers. I'll admit, his words were like punches to the gut, but I deserved it.
"My Emily would never keep this from me. She would never wait so long to tell me." He shook his head, I somehow got some voice in me to speak up.
"I had to."
"You had to? You had to keep the fact that you're pregnant from me for three weeks? For not telling me about my kid?" I understood why he was angry and I completely deserved it. But this is not how I wanted to telling him to go. "There is no reason that would connect the dots as to why you hid this from me, Emily. This is big. Too big to be kept away. Because it directs to me!" He pointed to himself as he continued to speak. "That's my baby, too! You had no right to keep that from me, Emily!" He yelled. I stepped back from reflex. The fact that he's yelling honestly scares me. Our fights never got to the point where we were screaming at each other. This was new and I hated it.
"Niall, please calm down and let me explain-" My eyes were watering from the stress that was building as I tried to reason with him, but he shook his head.
"There's nothing to explain! You're pregnant with my baby and you didn't think that maybe I'd want to know."
I felt a tear fall, "Can I please talk now?" I asked softly. I could finally come out and say all of my worries about this scenario to him so that he looked from my side of the story.
"I'm just as shocked as you are, Niall. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to get your hopes up yet. I thought that I couldn't have kids because that's what the doctors told me after the accident. Niall, I'm pregnant, but because of those damages that those bastards did to me, there's a chance that we could lose this baby. I was going to tell you after I passed the first trimester when the chances of losing the baby are lower than they are now." My voice went lower and lower as I spoke, almost ending in a whisper. "I want to have this baby, I really do, but in order to do that, I need to wait until after I'm three months along to make sure that I can. And what about the public? What would they say if they heard that Niall Horan from One Direction, fourth member to become a father. What would they say, huh? What would James say?"
"I don't fucking care what they say, Emily! This is my life that they have to accept, not one that they control anymore. I-"
"Let me finish. Niall, if we lose this baby, it would be my fault. I can't watch you break because of something I'd done. Would you rather me come to you with news that could be taken away, or something that we're sure about?"
"I could care less about that, Emily. Of course it's terrifying, that it's a risk, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. I would be, and am, over the moon that we get to witness this together, but we need to work together for this and I want to be there for everything. Is that too much to ask?" Why couldn't I just accept the risks of having this baby? It's because I'm terrified. Before he could talk again or come towards me, I shook my head and walked back to the restroom, locking the door behind me.
"Emily." I ignored him, and slid down the door until I was sitting on the floor. My face was in my hands and I let the rest of my tears fall and fall until I couldn't anymore.
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[So Long - Niall Horan]
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A/N:
first chapter = COMPLETE!!
I'm so glad to finally post this book!!! I've been so excited for it!!
I know that we're starting off to a depressing start, but trust me, this whole damn book is gonna be a little depressing, so, yeah. That's just part one. And you can't tell me that you weren't expecting it, because I know you were when you read the title.
also, MERLIN'S BEARD (comment if you get the reference!) THERE'S LITERALLY 6.3K READS ON PERFECT WTH!! THANKS A LOT, I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!
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TPWK.
All the love, C. xx