December, 1988
Christmas was always one of my favourite holidays growing up, and that hadn't changed one bit. It wasn't one of my favourites because of the presents, those were always pretty sparse around my house. It was one of my favourites because I loved the family time, the hot chocolate, and the lame Christmas movies.
It was usually just me, my mom, Pepper, and DeShaun who would all spend Christmas together, but this year since DeShaun had met Marshall, he was invited to come. I guess his mom has been off on a bender for a few days, so him and his little brother came over to spend the holiday with us which I thought was nice. His little brother was the cutest kid I had ever seen. He just seemed so happy, and Marshall was such a good brother to him.
Eric was also supposed to be here, but since he got a new job as a bouncer at a bar, he couldn't book the day off. It made me sad, but I understood it. We needed the money and like I said, he had just started, so he was in no position to be asking for days off yet.
It was now 12am and the night was winding down. I didn't have my car with me since Eric took it to work, but I still wanted to get back home before his shift ended at 2am, so he wouldn't get mad at me for staying out too late.
"Why don't ya just walk?" DeShaun asked me as I was complaining to him about not wanting to pay for a cab.
"I ain't walkin' home alone at this time of night, are ya crazy?"
"I could walk ya." Marshall offered.
I shook my head. "Thats fine, you have Nate to look after. I'll just take a cab I guess."
"Nah, don't worry. He's sleepin', I'll just leave him here and then come back and get him."
"No that's really okay. I ain't want ya to have to walk me there, walk all the way back, then walk home. I'll be fine, don't worry."
He shrugged. "I ain't got nothin' better to do. Come on, let's just go." He said as he started getting up.
"Are you sure? You seriously don't have too." I said getting up with him.
He laughed. "Yeah girl, I'm sure."
"Fuck dawg, you're way nicer than me. I was just gon' make her ass take a cab." DeShaun laughed while he was still slumped on the couch.
"That's why ya ain't got no girlfriend." I joked.
"I ain't got no girlfriend 'cause ya'll bitches are crazy." DeShaun joked back.
"Fuck, if that ain't the truth." Marshall laughed with DeShaun and I just rolled my eyes at the two of them. I went and said bye to my mom and Pepper and then we were on our way out the door.
"Shit it's cold out." I said crossing my arms as we walked down the front steps.
"Here." Marshall said taking his jacket off.
"You ain't cold?" I asked him with a confused look on my face.
He shook his head and handed me the jacket. "Nah, I'm warm blooded as fuck."
I laughed and started putting it on. "Aight, whatever you say."
"So whatcha been doin'? How's work been?" He asked as we started walking down the driveway.
"Uh, yeah, it's been fine."
"Nah, I mean ya real job. Not ya bullshit made up one." He grinned at me and I just glared back.
"I don't know what ya talkin' 'bout." I stated coldly.
"Come on, you can tell me. I ain't care if ya strip. We all gotta make ends meet somehow."
"Look, I ain't strip, and DeShaun and the rest of them are fuckin' assholes for sayin' otherwise."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "So Rufus ain't see ya walk into The Ace?"
"No he fuckin' didn't. Rufus is a dumbass, but think what ya want."
"Aight, aight, don't get so angry. I was just jokin'."
"Mhm. How's your job?"
"Fuckin' way better than school, I'll tell ya that."
"Oh shit, did ya officially drop out?"
He nodded. "Fuck yeah I did and thank god for that. I couldn't stand bein' in the same building as Kim anymore."
I scrunched my eyebrows together. "Whatcha mean? Did ya'll break up?"
"Yeah, she's fuckin' crazy."
I laughed. "She's fourteen! How crazy can she be?"
He laughed too. "Exactly my fuckin' point! If she's this crazy now, I ain't want any fuckin' part of that when she gets older."
I nodded. "So she's moved outta ya moms?"
"Yeah, she's back at her moms I guess."
"Well that's good then y'know, at least she left without a fuss."
He scoffed. "If only she did. She fuckin' blew up in my moms face, and don't get me wrong, I fuckin' hate that bitch, but it was just so outta line."
"Oh shit, really? Yeah that's fucked up. I mean she was lettin' her stay there for free, maybe have a lil' respect, y'know?"
He nodded. "No doubt. What 'bout you though? How're you and Eric?"
I shrugged. "Yeah, we're fine. This new jobs got him workin' crazy hours though. Like he's always workin' it seems like."
"Fuck that sucks. Is he makin' better money now though?"
"Yeah, it's not bad. Still not great, but it pays the bills."
"Well that's all that matters then." He trailed off. "Y'know, you look real pretty with all the snow fallin' in ya hair and shit."
I let out a breathy laugh. "What?"
He smiled and shook his head. "Nah, I'm just sayin'. Makes ya look like a lil' snow angel or somethin'."
I gave him a confused look. "Thank you?"
He laughed. "I ain't tryna hit on ya, it was just a thought that popped into my brain so I said it."
"Okay weirdo."
He laughed again and slightly nudged me with his shoulder. "Fuck you, I'm just tryna be nice."
I giggled and quickly bent down to gather some snow in my hand. I popped back up and instantly smooshed it against Marshall's face causing him to start laughing again. "Y'know you look real pretty with all that snow in ya face." I said laughing with him as he wiped the snow off.
"Aight, you goin' in!" He yelled and quickly started lifting me up by my ribs. I was laughing until shooting pains immediately started running throughout my whole body and I let out a cry.
"Marshall stop, stop, stop!" I yelled but he didn't stop. "Marshall it really hurts! Please stop!"
"What?" He said still holding me.
"Let me down! I'm in fuckin' pain!"
"Oh fuck I'm sorry." He said quickly putting me back down. "I thought you were just jokin' when you were yellin' stop."
I shook my head. "No I uh, I fucked up my ribs by falling the other day while I was dancing."
He scrunched his eyebrows togethers. "How's that happen?"
"I was doin' a duet with this guy from my dance studio, and he was holding me above his head while we were spinning and dropped me."
"No shit? Fuck, ya gotta be careful." He said as we walked up the steps to my house. "Coulda been that lil' face of yours that got all banged up." He put my chin in between his thumb and index finger. Neither of us said anything we just stared at each other for a few seconds until I pulled away, causing him to release his hold on my chin.
"Okay, well have a good night. Thanks for walkin' me back!" I said turning to put my key in the door.
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, 'course. Have a good night, Ti." He said as he started walking back down the steps.
"Bye!" I yelled as I entered my house and shut the door, not even letting him say bye back. I started taking off my shoes and my jacket when I realized I was still wearing Marshall's. "Fuck." I muttered to myself. I swung the door back open and poked my head outside but he was no where to be found. White kids walk fast I guess. I shrugged and closed the door once more. I decided I should probably hide the jacket so that Eric doesn't find it and think somethings going on that isn't. I tucked it away under my side of the bed and figured that'd be a good enough spot until I see Marshall again and can give it back to him.
January, 1989
It was New Years Eve and I had decided to pick up a shift since I knew I could make a fun tonne of money tonight, and Eric was working too so I figured I may as well work if we weren't gonna spend the holiday together.
I had already finished my main performance for the night, so I was just walking around and offering lap dances to anyone I thought would take them, and almost everyone did. That was the beauty of New Years, everyones so fuckin' drunk that none of them even take the time to think about how money they're spending. They all just say yes.
As I was walking around in my hot pink string bikini that had rhinestones all over it, I noticed some random young looking white guy sitting alone at the back. Easy money. I strutted over to him and introduced myself.
"Hey baby, I'm Diamond." I said in my most seductive voice possible as I sat myself down on top of his table and crossed my legs. "Whatchu doin' here all alone on New Years hm?" I pushed my hand through his short dark brown hair.
He chuckled. "I'm just waitin' here while my friends are outside smokin'."
"Mm, well you lookin' for some company while you wait?" I said moving my hand from his hair to his chest.
He smiled. "How much you gon' cost me, girl?"
"A hundred bucks." I flashed him a sexy smile back.
"Shit, you expensive baby."
"Diamonds ain't chea-"
"Yo Titi!" I heard yelled and I looked up to see Marshall and another guy I didn't know walking towards us. I instantly started panicking, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't run, the club wasn't that big and he had already saw me. I just stared at him like a deer in the headlights until they were back at the table. "You tryna rub up on my uncle Ronnie or what?" He laughed and they both slid into the booth.
"Ya'll know each other?" Ronnie asked and I realized I still had my hand on his chest. I quickly removed it and started getting off of the table.
"I, uh, no we don-" I said nervously.
Marshall smiled at me. "Yeah we do, this my girl Titi who swore up and down she wasn't workin' here, but look who it is."
"Marshall please don't say anything to anyone." I said looking at him with worried eyes.
"Nah, 'course I ain't gon' say anything. Long as you don't say we in here underage." He grinned.
"Yeah, how the fuck ya'll even get in here?" I asked.
"Fake ID's, baby." Ronnie said.
I shook my head in confusion. "All three of you got in with fake ID's? None of ya'll are twenty one?"
They all laughed. "Girl you ain't even twenty one!" Marshall said.
I shrugged. "They ain't seem to care."
"How old are ya then?" Ronnie asked.
"Eighteen."
He nodded. "Well I'm only seventeen, but can I still get a dance from ya?"
"Fuck no you ain't gettin' no damn dance from her." Marshall laughed.
"Why not?! She's eighteen, it's probably more legal if I get a dance from her rather than one of these legal aged bitches." Ronnie whined.
"'Cause I ain't lettin' you put ya grimy ass hands all over her." Marshall joked.
"You just wanna put your grimy ass hands all over her instead." Ronnie joked back.
I nodded. "Aight, I got money to make so I'll see ya'll clowns later maybe." I said as I started walking away.
"Ayo Ti!" Marshall yelled behind me.
"What?" I yelled back as I turned my head.
"You look good." He said with a smirk. I just rolled my eyes and shot him the middle finger as I continued walking away.
I went on with my night and I was making a fuckin' killing. I mean, I already knew I was gonna make a lot of money tonight, but not like this. I figured I would probably walk away with at least three grand tonight, if not more.
It was now a little past one am and the night was really starting to slow down after we hit twelve pm. I figured I'd go see if Marshall and his friends were still here and go hang out with them for a bit. I walked back over to their table and yup, they were all still here. "Ain't ya'll gonna go home anytime soon?" I said sitting down with them.
"When ya get off? We goin' over to Rufus' after." Marshall asked me.
"Uh, I'm off at two, but I really gotta get home."
"What why? It's New Years! And you been workin' all night, come out!" Marshall said.
I shrugged. "I know, I'm sorry. Thanks for the invite but I really gotta go home."
"Aight whatever ya say." He trailed off. "Need a ride home though?"
"No no I'm fine, thanks though."
"You drive here?" He asked with an eyebrow cocked.
I shook my head. "No, I was just gonna take the bus."
"Aight then fuck that. We got Ronnie's car, we'll just drop ya off. We already goin' over that way."
I paused thinking about it. "Are you sure? Ronnie is that okay?" I asked him.
Ronnie nodded. "Yeah, no worries."
"Okay, thank you! Are you guys cool to wait for another like, half an hour? I'll try to get out of here a few minutes early."
"Do what ya gotta do, girl." Marshall said and I smiled.
"Thank you again, I seriously appreciate that so much. Oh! Then I can give you your jacket back too."
He laughed. "Yeah I've been missin' my jacket, not gon' lie. It's been fuckin' cold these last couple of days."
"Thought you were warm blooded?" I said making fun of him.
He laughed again. "Nah, I just said that tryna be nice."
I jokingly gasped. "You lied to me?!"
"Yo you lied to me too, aight! Honestly at this point who knows what else ya been lyin' 'bout." He joked back.
I laughed as I started getting up. "You'll never know." He raised his eyebrows at me. "Aight, so I'll be back in thirty then?"
Marshall nodded. "That's the plan."
"K, sounds good." I said turning away and walking back out to the main floor.
I was able to get two more dances in and then my thirty minutes was almost up. After I was done I grabbed my things from my locker and headed to my managers office to ask him if I could leave a few minutes early. He agreed since the club had become even more dead in those last thirty minutes and handed me two thick envelopes full of cash. I beamed at the envelopes but then quickly stuffed them in my bag so I wouldn't get jumped. I thanked my manager and then headed back out to the floor to go find Marshall. I found him sitting alone at the same table, and I immediately wondered where the others went.
"You ready?" Marshall questioned me as I reached his table.
I nodded. "Yeah, where's your friends?"
"They're waitin' in the car." He said sliding out from the round table. I gave him a confused look since I didn't understand why he wouldn't go with them. He laughed like he knew what I was confused about. "I ain't want you to think we left without ya."
Realization swept across my face and I chuckled. "That's sweet, thank you." I said as I started following him out of the club. We both piled into the backseat of Ronnie's car as Bring the Noise by Public Enemy was booming through the speakers. Ronnie sped off and Marshall cracked his window slightly while he pulled out a joint and began to light it up. He took two puffs and then passed it to me. As I smoked the joint, Marshall started to rap along to the lyrics.
"Get from in front of me, the crowd runs to me/My DJ is warm, he's X, I call him Norm, ya know/He can cut a record from side to side/So what, the ride, the glide should be much safer than a suicide/Soul control, beat is the father of your rock n roll/Music for whatcha, for whichin', you call a band, man/Making a music, abuse it, but you can do it, ya know"
I handed the joint to the guy in the passenger seat, who I still didn't know the name of, and started rapping along with him. "You call 'em demos, but we ride limos, too/Whatcha gonna do? Rap is not afraid of you/Beat is for Sonny Bono, beat is for Yoko Ono/Run-DMC first said a DJ could be a band/Stand on it's own feet, get you out your seat/Beat is for Eric B. and LL as well, hell/Wax is for Anthrax, still it can rock bells/Ever forever, universal, it will sell/Time for me to exit, Terminator X-it"
Marshall started laughing. "You ain't miss a fuckin' beat!"
I smiled. "You can thank DeShaun and all the years of him forcing his music on me for that."
"Forcing? Nah, he was blessin' your lil' ballet ass." I laughed. "Ronnie wants to be a rapper." Marshall said as he reached over the drivers seat and smacked his uncle on the shoulder.
Ronnie laughed. "No I don't. I ain't good enough."
"Well fuck if you ain't good enough, then I really ain't good enough." Marshall said.
"You wanna be a rapper too?" I turned my head towards Marshall.
He shrugged and took another hit of the joint that Ronnie had just passed to him. "I ain't know what I wanna do with my life. But maybe one day."
I smiled. "I'm sure you could do it."
"Aight, I think we're here." Ronnie said as he started slowing the car down. We reached the front of my house and I started unbuckling my seat belt.
"Yo, whys there shit out all over your front yard?" Marshall asked. I looked out of Marshall's window and saw what looked to be all my stuff scattered all over the lawn.
I felt my stomach start to turn. "No, no, no, no, no, no." I mumbled and quickly hopped out of the car. I ran to my front door and started trying to unlock it with my key but it wasn't working. I kept fumbling with the lock while I simultaneously banged on the door. "ERIC!" I yelled. "BABY PLEASE OPEN UP!" I kept banging the door with my palm. The more I banged and yelled, the more frustrated and upset I got. Tears started streaming down my face and now every time I yelled my voice would crack and sounded strained. "FUCK!" I yelled and banged my hand hard against the door one last time. I threw my face in my hands and just stood there while I cried.
"Yo, you aight?" I heard come from behind me and I quickly turned around.
"What does it fuckin' look like Marshall?! No I'm not 'aight'!" I yelled at him. "My stupid fuckin' boyfriend changed the locks on me, threw all my shit out onto the front yard with all the fuckin' snow and I ain't even know why! I don't even think he's fuckin' home!"
Marshall nodded. "Yeah, I ain't think he's home either. I ain't seen your car anywhere."
I laughed and tried to wipe away the tears from my cheeks. "Perfect! He threw my shit out, changed the locks, AND took my fuckin' car!"
"You think he's comin' back?"
"I have no fuckin' idea what the fuck he's doing, where he's going, or if he's comin' back. Not a clue." I threw my hands in the air and the tears started streaming down my face again.
"Fuck Ti, it's okay." Marshall said quickly running up the steps and engulfing me in his arms.
"I just, I don't understand why he's doin' this!" I cried into his chest.
"Ya'll didn't get into a fight or anything today?"
I shook my head. "No, but he always finds something to be mad about."
He nodded and paused for a few moments while he just let me cry. Once I collected myself a bit I started to pull away from him while I wiped more tears from my cheeks. "So what'dya wanna do? 'Cause ya can't just sit out here all night." He asked and I shrugged and shook my head. I had no idea what I wanted to do. "Do ya wanna go to your moms?"
"No, I don't want her to know what happened, and I also don't wanna wake her up."
He nodded. "Do ya wanna come with us to Rufus'?" I shook my head no. "Wanna go to Peppers?"
I sighed. "No, I can't go anywhere, I don't want any of them to know."
"Aight, well what 'bout my place? Ya wanna go there?"
"I can't bring all my shit to your house. I don't know, maybe I'll just get a hotel tonight and come back in the morning to try and talk to him."
"You got enough money for a hotel? I swear it's fine if you come over."
I nodded. "Yeah I did really good tonight, I'll have enough money. Could you guys maybe just drive me to a hotel though? Then I swear I'll leave ya'll alone and you can get on with your night."
"Yo, you ain't burdening us, aight? I wanna help ya. 'Course we'll take ya to a hotel, don't worry." He said as he cupped the side of my face and ran his thumb over my wet cheek.
I closed my eyes and gave a little smile. "Thank you." I whispered. I opened my eyes back up and saw him staring right at me. He quickly averted his eyes and pulled his hand away from my cheek.
"Aight, let's pack ya shit up." He said turning away from me and running back down the steps. We threw all my stuff into the few different purses that were also laying on the lawn, as well as an old suitcase. A few things that didn't fit ended up just being thrown into the car loose, but the rest we were able to pack up thankfully.
Ronnie drove me to a shitty rent-by-the-hour motel that was only ten minutes away from my house, but at least it was somewhere to sleep tonight. As I was paying for the motel, Marshall went and started moving my shit in to the room for me. After I was done paying, I walked back out to the parking lot and saw Marshall walking back towards the room as Ronnie and their other friend drove away.
"What are they doing?" I yelled as I changed my course of direction to go meet Marshall instead.
"They're leavin'." He said as I got closer to the room and watched him enter.
"What'dya mean they're leaving?" I asked confused as I also walked into the room and shut the door.
"I ain't wanna leave ya alone, so they're just gon' go to Rufus' without me."
"Marshall I'm fine. You can go, I'ma just crash out."
"I know you're fine physically, but you're sad. I ain't like to be alone when I'm sad." He trailed off. "Plus DeShaun would kill me if he knew I left ya alone."
I laughed lightly under my breath. "That's sweet of you, but you really don't have to stay."
"Do ya not want me to stay?"
"I mean I don't mind if ya do, but I'm just tellin' ya you don't have too."
"Well then I'ma stay." He said as he plopped himself down on the only bed in the room.
"Nu uh, we ain't sleepin' in the same bed." I said as I started searching for pyjamas to wear from my suitcase.
He laughed. "Why not? It's completely platonic."
I rolled my eyes. "Fine. But you're sleepin' in ya clothes."
"That's fine. You ain't have too though." He gave a lopsided smile.
I shook my head and smiled. "You're so gross." I joked as I walked into the bathroom to change into a big grey t-shirt and black cotton sleeping shorts. I came back out and Marshall had turned on the little TV that was set up across from the bed on the dresser. I quickly put my hair in a bun on the top of my head as I walked over to the bed and got in. "What's this?" I asked as I curled up onto my side and adjusted the pillow.
He shrugged. "I don't know. Some dumb late night TV show."
I nodded. "Hey, thanks for everything tonight. I really appreciate it."
He looked down at me. "'Course Ti, you're my girl. I'm just sorry ya gotta go through shit like this."
"Eric's not a bad guy, you know. He just gets mad."
He cocked an eyebrow at me. "And throws ya shit out on the lawn?"
I shook my head. "It's just a misunderstanding. It'll all be fine tomorrow."
He shrugged. "I don't know. I'd never do that to a girl."
"It's just how some adult relationships are. You'll get it eventually."
He scoffed. "You're only a year older than me."
"Yeah, but Eric's twenty five."
"Which is kinda gross don't ya think?"
I scrunched my eyebrows together. "No? Why would that be gross? I'm eighteen. Kim's only fourteen and you dated her."
"Yeah, but I'm only two years older than her. She turns fifteen this month."
"I don't know, that still seems weird."
"Well even if it is, it's less weird than dating a guy seven years older than you. Like what do ya'll even have in common?"
I shrugged. "Lots of things."
"Uh huh, like what?"
"Like..."
"See ya can't even think of one!" He laughed.
"Like we both like Chinese food!"
He chuckled again. "Fuck, if that's all ya need to have in common I should have a line up of girls waitin' at my door."
I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Shut up. I'm just sayin' we definitely have things in common."
He nodded. "Aight, if ya say so."
I laughed. "You fuckin' dick." I grabbed the pillow from behind my head and quickly smacked his face with it.
"Oh you tryna start somethin'?" He said laughing and grabbed his pillow and lightly smacked me back with it. Our small pillow fight turned into gentle play fighting and neither of us could stop laughing the whole time. He had my hands and legs pinned to the bed and we were both still laughing like crazy as his eyes connected with mine. Shit I never realized how blue his eyes were. He mumbled something that I didn't register since I was too engulfed in his eyes.
"Hm?" I said bringing my attention back to what he was saying.
He paused for a few seconds while he stared at me, like he was thinking about what to say. "I said I kinda wanna order food." He released my arms and legs and rolled off of me.
"Oh, yeah order a pizza or somethin'. The food menu's over there." I pointed towards the dresser that held the TV on it.
He nodded and got up to get the menu. He brought it back to the bed and stared at it for a few seconds. "Actually nah, I'm not really that hungry. Unless you want somethin'?"
I shook my head and made myself comfy in bed once more. "No I'm fine. Thanks though."
He nodded and I yawned while I let my eyes flutter closed. "You goin' to bed?"
"Yeah, I'm really tired." I said with my eyes still closed.
"Aight. Night Ti."
"Night." I mumbled and I heard the TV volume start to lower.