The difference between me now and me then is that I'm stronger. I don't have time to waste hiding in the corner, so I find myself running towards the torture room, praying to see Aria alive.
She was.
Cowering in a huddle with her sister and Fray, but still very much alive.
"Castelle!" she yells excitedly, running towards me in an open embrace. I let out a sigh of relief and hug her back with my one good arm, explaining to her the urgency of the situation. She complies with every command of mine, fear motivating her actions.
"You can't just take Aria away from me, I just got her back," Scarlett protests, clinging onto her sister as though they were connected at the hip.
She pulls Aria back, black flames taking shape around her. The illuminated shadows waver around her floating locks of hair, identical to my own. I can guess who's blood was on that knife, I think, envying the fact that it comes so easily to her. I've been bested by a child.
"Okay cool it with the flames, you can come too," I say as I grab her wrist in one hand. "You know, Scarlett, your name is awfully fitting."
"Excuse me, Bloody Mary." Fray eyes my uniform up and down, and I realize just how disheveled I must appear with red drenching half of my outfit.
"What makes you think we want to leave?" Fray asks, her arms crossed, staring at me with an all too familiar attitude.
"Lot of spunk in this one, huh?" I turn to her. "Hear those bombs outside, water girl? Who do you think dropped them? Now you can either use your little flood abilities to save those lives, or end some more. Up to you."
After a minute of deliberation, Fray agrees reluctantly. "Fine, but only because Scarlett and Aria are going. They seem to trust you."
Something about that child reminds me of myself, and I can't help but feel slightly terrified.
We exit through the door to the fruit stand in the central market. The streets have run rampant. Crowds are running from Trinity while trampling each other in the process. Everything's fallen into total chaos, and in the madness, I hurry towards the collapsing Capitol everyone else is trying to avoid.
My ears are filled with screams of panic as I try to push my way through the crowd, a chain of suspiciously young children shackled to my arm. In the distance, I can see a cloud of smoke rising from the glass panes of the first floor, gray pouring into the already dull skies.
We don't make it a few feet before I slam into someone I recognize.
"Cas?" Kai asks, holding me at arm's length and blinking in disbelief. He's followed closely by two heavily armed guards, their guns fixed on my head and their trigger fingers itching to shoot someone. "Oh my God, you're okay." He pulls me into a hug, and I release my hand from Aria's as I squeeze him back. They lower their guns and a wave of relief washes over me followed by a sudden slap of worry.
"What are you doing here? This is the worst place for you to be right now," I say, remembering what my father requested from the council of twelve earlier. "They're looking for you Kai."
"I don't care. You didn't come back yesterday, and then they started attacking Cardinal. I had to come find you, and this was the only place I could think of looking." He pulls away, a hand resting on my shoulder, forcing me to wince in pain at the slight touch. "You're hurt," he realizes. Upon further inspection, he notices a cut on the right leg of my uniform, and his already concerned demeanor is plagued by what I can only assume is rage. "What happened? What'd they do to you?"
"I'll tell you about it later, but for now we need to find shelter. Cardinal's going down within the hour. What's the plan?" The ground shakes in another round of explosives, and we turn to see the second highest floor of the tower cave in, an amber fire shining through the gray clouds already filling the sky.
He guides me down the screaming crowds of frightened civilians with a hand on the small of my back, and his guards separating a clear path for our group to ease our way back to the burning building. "We need to head back to Cardinal. There's a transport vehicle there ready to take us to an isolated Stafford facility. There should be medical supplies packed on the truck, but it's scheduled to leave in about ten minutes so we need to hurry."
I stop for a quick second at the mention of the word "Stafford" before continuing with the same urgency I had seconds prior.
"Kai," I say, still running, "What do you know about Carpa Malum?" I find myself hoping that whatever my father said about Trinity, or rather his accusations toward Kai, are false.
"Other than the fact that it caused all of this, I have no idea."
"Do you know why it was detonated? Or who created it?" I pray that his answer is the same, the thought of my father being right about Cardinal being too much for me.
"I know as much as you do, Cas. I promise." There's a sincerity in his voice, like he genuinely knows only as much as I do, so, for the time being, I choose to believe him. It's easier given the circumstances, and also given the person. It seems I'm easier to trust Kai rather than the psychopath that raised me. "Why do you ask?"
"My father said something about it earlier, and I just wanted to see what he meant by it." His hand on my back tenses at the mention of my father, the thought clearly disturbing him as much as it disturbed me.
"You spoke with Paxton?" he asks, sympathy in his voice, "I'm so sorry. I should have gotten here sooner."
A third explosion rattles the pebbles on the ground loose, forcing me to lose my footing for a second before being steadied by Kai. We look up to find half of the building engulfed in flames, and the entire first two floors gone. Any sign of their existence has been burned to ash. Kai overestimated our time before Cardinal falls. My internal clock keeps ticking. Four minutes left.
"Clearly you had a good reason," I say, staring at the dark smoke rising into the sky. "Is everyone else evacuated?"
"I hope so, it's Armageddon up there." The sky erupts into a cacophony of explosions and cries of fleeting hope. I haven't seen Trinity in such an apocalyptic state since Carpa Malum was first dropped. Translation: the end of the world.
I knew he wasn't the best of men, but how could he lie about something as grave as what that explosion was? How could my father cause another catastrophe to a society in an already catastrophic state?
The flames continue to pour out of the shattered windows, the once glistening tower now shining from a different light than the sun. We reach the foot of the building where an array of Karmas have captured government officials, ushering them through the crowd with guns pointed to their heads. I manage to overhear a conversation they seem to be having with one nearby, and it went along the lines of "Where's Malachi Blaire." Three minutes left.
Jacoby's heading a group of rampant anarchists running about the entrance of the building, our eyes connecting for the briefest of time. I look away, my heart sinking in not terror, but rather in concern. I can't fight in the state I'm currently in, so all I can do is pray he doesn't realize who it was he just saw.
The children and I cover our mouths to protect from the pouring smoke and raining ashes as we follow Kai and his guards around the front entrance. Jacoby's voice, barking orders, grows more and more distant. He's spouting nonsensical rebellion flattery, noting to the public that an attack of this caliber was imminent, and that this is what they deserve for entrusting their lives to such a cowardly government.
I'm so desensitized to everyday riots and chaos on the streets that I can't help but block out the noise, trying to convince myself that this was just another day on the streets. It's a shame I've grown so accustomed to living in the lap of luxury. It makes my indifference all the harder to control.
We find ourselves in an empty patch of gravel between Cardinal Tower, and Stafford corporations. Our boots crunch on the pavement beneath us as quietly as we can possibly manage while still keeping our same pace. Two minutes left.
We follow them down a set of stairs blindly into what appears to be an underground garage with about ten cargo vans parked in the darkness. The floor is swarming with navy blue uniforms paired with looks of distress and anguish. It's dim enough to just barely make out the people hidden in the shadows, so I squint trying to see how many of my friends have found safety in the wreckage above them. Familiar faces are scattered about the old, gasoline scented room. Some sitting atop cots, having their wounds tended to, some loading supplies and the injured into the large vehicles.
"Castelle!" Kent calls from one of the vans, "You made it. I was so worried." He jumps from the open back and starts towards me. His arms wrap around me and I just grit my teeth as the stinging pain shoots up my right shoulder. He backs away and I look past him, searching for any other refugees I might recognize.
I could spot most of the initiates including Cynthia and Aster, I even see Grazinski tending to a guards' third-degree burns, but Shona and Silas are nowhere to be found.
I hand off the line of children to Kent, ordering him to make sure they board safely. He does as he's told and heads to the cargo van holding Cynthia and Aster. Cynthia excitedly embraces Aria when she sees her, dragging Scarlett and Fray along with her.
"Where's Silas and Shona?" I ask Kai, worry filling my thoughts.
Kai does a quick scan of the room when I see the color drain from his face. He runs a hand through his hair as he speaks between ragged breaths of exhaustion. "They're probably still trapped in the tower somewhere." He turns around and orders his guards to help load the injured into vans as he starts back up the stairs.
"Where are you going?" I call, my breath catching in my throat. He stops on the stairs, a sort of hesitation forcing him to turn around. He climbs down the steps with an urgency I haven't seen before. I see only him as he hurries towards me, cups his hands over my face, and presses his lips to mine. He holds me with an urgency, a passion drawing him in. I find myself leaning into him, scared that if I pull away it might be the last time I see him.
We kiss each other to make up for all the missed opportunities, again for all the years we've been apart, and again for the time that we might be separated for in the near future.
With his forehead to mine, he pulls back with a look of pleading agony. "If they're up there, someone needs to bring them back."
"If you go up there, there's a chance you won't make it back." I put my hand over his, biting back the urge to kick and scream and yell at him for all of the reasons this is the worst decision he could possibly make.
I kiss him again, the pain in my shoulder overshadowing the pain in my head. The martyr in front of me is running towards his death and I can't think of any other way to stop him. We're polar opposites, meant to hate each other, but I don't. I don't hate him. I just got him back.
He holds my hand in both of his, and kisses my forehead, tearing away from me with a tearful pout. "I need to go," he whispers, turning back up the stairs. "I'll be back. I promise."
My hand falls limp at my side, and I don't know what else to say to stop him. He doesn't have the time he thinks he does. One minute left.
For once, I swallow my pride, and yell at him when he reaches the top step. "Thank you!" My voice breaks as I realize this might be the last time I see him. "For everything."
He stops, and it might just be my imagination, but as he turns towards Cardinal tower, I can see him smile at my words as he runs out of sight.
"Cas, you need to get on a truck," Kent says, pulling me away from the stairs. "I'm worried too. He'll find them, I know he will." I turn away, trusting Kai to find them and come back safely. I turn away, praying for a miracle.
Kent and I join Aria and the others on their van. Cynthia stares at me with worry, ordering me to remove my arm from the uniform so that she can clean my wound. Aster's bombarding me with questions about what happened while I was imprisoned, and Kent's poking Fray like she might disappear if he looked away. After her patience has run thin, Kent finds himself soaked in a localized splash of water.
Eventually, the door closes, a small glass panel on the top being the only light source available. The sound of roaring engines fill my ears, almost enough to drown out the sound of my own disappointment. He's not going to make it. I drop my head as the vehicles start to leave, small streams of light from the panel forcing its way into my closed eyelids.
As the last truck pulls out of the garage, the last thing I'm able to see is Cardinal Tower falling at the hands of the Karmas. All that's remaining are the ashes of the former Capitol building.
End of book one