I saw a post somewhere that sounded like this.
"Maybe you're not healing because you're trying to be who you were before the trauma, that person doesn't exist anymore, cause there's a new you trying to be born. Breathe life into that person."
And so many more 'self empowering texts' spreading around the Internet.
We keep seeing all these reaffirming short videos of people talking about how we don't need other people, how we should not seek validation from anyone else because we live our own stories or something like that.
Truth is, as much as we want to deny, it's never like that.
Humans are social creatures. Don't try to dismiss your social needs for validation or whatever else you need to continue living.
I disagree, you know.
I am not healing NOT because I am trying to be who I was before everything happened.
I am not healing because I am too busy surviving. It's too much energy to confront that pain and trauma that I usually just push through it and leave it in the past. And precisely because I never licked my wounds, it'd bleed again and I'll lose some of my energy, if not all of them, at some point.
But honestly, one of the tenets of healing is acceptance. But I've been so comfortable with denial, it's almost impossible for me to start accepting.
For now.