Not edited- Excuse the errors bc there's probably a lot. I still have to fix last chapters too bc I never got around to that..
•••
My finger hovered over the little blue button, the nerves tearing through me. My stomach was doing more than just simple flips. No, it was as if someone had ripped it out of me and was slamming it back and forth on the cement ground.
Sweaty hands, drumming heart- I wasn't exactly sure how this would turn out. What am I thinking? I could ruin us completely with just one little touch of a button.
I should just back out now before I get myself in a pickle.
I went to backspace, but my mind had other ideas, making my thumb slam down, the message popping up on the screen in a bold, bright, eye catching blue. The coolness of my face could be felt from one hundred miles away as all the blood drained.
Hey, butterfly x
I stared at the two words, the cherry in the pit of my stomach growing to the size of a watermelon.
Three, grey dots popped up and I felt my heart bursting with each second passing. She was actually going to respond to me. I didn't think she would and that's what makes me even more nervous.
I felt my body heat increase dramatically and I started to feel like I was catching fire. I was almost expecting the sweat to run down from my hairline.
Khloe-
Hey, Ni :)
Great, so I'm going to be the one to have to start the conversation. I let out an audible deep breath.
To: Khloe-
What's up?
No, that's too overused..
To: Khloe-
I miss you :)
No, what if she doesn't miss me? Or what if she blows it off? What if Louis lied about her wanting to talk to me and needing me and all that shit. No one really needs me. They just say they do to pity me..
To: Khloe-
How are you?
I bit my lip, pressing send. So much for curing my hangover this morning. Might as well just take this damn headache and strap it around my brain because I don't think it's going anywhere in a time like this.
Khloe-
Okay...I guess...
I huffed, coving my head under the blankets. Why is she doing this to me?
Might as well just get it over with before I explode...
To: Khloe-
Listen, I don't know what I was thinking. Matter of fact, I wasn't thinking when I said all that stuff or when I made the stupid bet. I'm so so so sorry baby :/
I quickly erased it. That's not going to work. I bit my lip again, biting it so hard that I could feel my teeth puncture the skin.
To: Khloe-
I really am sorry baby. I wasn't thinking :/
I pressed the send, anxiously waiting for her reply. I didn't know how she was going to respond, but I could only hope for the best.
Khloe-
I just... Can we not do this over text please?
Fuck. This is where my ass gets screwed over.
I fucking knew this was going to happen too!
Khloe-
You just what pebbles?
I was hoping I could distract her without her noticing. I know she's going to want to meet up and being in Australia, we already know that's not going to happen. I knew I should have told her too, dammit! Now I'm going to get my ass ripped out for it.
Khloe-
Niall..
To: Khloe-
What's wrong khlo?
Khloe-
Can we please just meet at the coffee shop or something and talk? I really just need to talk to you...
I always screw things up, don't I? I should be able to say of course and meet her there. I should be able to run and hug her when she needs me. I should be able to hold her and breathe her. I should be able to do so much, but I fucking can't. And why? Because my ass is stupid and took a fourteen hour flight away thinking it would get better, but now I see it's only made things worse.
To: Khloe-
It killed me to write this next part, but i just but my lip and pressed the send button.
I can't. I've taken off to Australia
I don't know why it was so hard, but it was. I instantly felt a tear slide down my cheek. I was so glad, in a way, that I wasn't there to see her face. I don't even want to read how she responds.
I feared that she would feel like I left her. That killed me. I didn't want her to feel like that. She shouldn't ever feel like I was going to give up on her or just drop her and leave her. Hell, I don't think I ever could leave her, even if I wanted to, which I don't.
Khloe-
You what?
I sighed.
To: Khloe-
Baby...
Khloe-
Don't baby me. Just never mind. I don't even know why you messaged me in the first place.
I closed my eyes, feeling anger replace my nervousness and really just everything. I was mad at her for acting like this, I was mad at myself for trying to put distance between us. I was mad at Louis for telling me she needed me. I was just... I was just so angry!
I sat up and chucked my phone across the room, watching as it slammed against the dark, wooden door and fell to the carpet.
I wouldn't be surprised if it broke. Actually, I wouldn't really give a shit if it did. I hope it did.
"Son of a bitch!" I yelled, flopping back into the mattress. I let out a breath, burying myself back in the blankets. This morning could not go any fucking better.
*
"Zayn's out." Perrie laughed, playing with his hair, tugging on it rather harshly to wake him up, which didn't really look like it was happening anytime soon.
"Zayn." I kicked him in the shin, noticing his shuffle.
"Zayn..." Perrie dragged out, moving his face around between her hands.
Is this really how girls wake us up? They move us around a shit ton until we finally get annoyed?
"Stop..." Grumbling, his chest rattled as he swatted Perrie's hands away. "What'd 'ya want?"
"We've landed." I stated, pulling the few carry ons from the overhead department. His head rolled to look at us as his eyes blinked open. "C'mon." I started to walk, leaving behind Perrie to get Zayn.
Walking off the plane, I hauled through the terminal and into the airport, pushing through people. Once I had went down the escalators to the baggage claim, I grabbed our stuff, noticing them both appear.
Took them long enough.
"What'd ya do? Stop to give him a blowjob?" I questioned with a smirk, bumping Perrie's shoulder.
"No, you asshole. We got lost trying to find you." I laughed.
"Like I'm going to believe that."
"Well, you took off so damn fast." She smiled widely, holding onto Zayn's arm.
"Mhmm." I teased. We made our way out of the building and into a shuttle bus that would take us over to the car lot where I had previously paid to park my truck.
Our bags were tossed into the bed and Zayn and I jumped in the front, Perrie in the back. The leather seats were freezing to say the least, especially after being in ninety degree weather in Sydney, creating goosebumps along my tinted skin.
I may or may not have gotten a little sun, causing my unusually shark bait skin to turn the color of rose petals.
I turned on the defrost high, clearing my windshield of fog. "Can you please make it warm?" Perrie screeched.
"Yeah, let me just wave my wand a few times."
"Okay, you sarcastic shit."
"I'm trying, okay? Just calm yourself." she huffed and sat back, finally closing her trap. I pulled out from the lot, placing my parking ticket in the machine. Finally, we were able to exit among the street, weaving through a bit of traffic until we were able to make it onto the freeway.
I stayed in the fast lane for the most part, wanting nothing more than to just get back to the campus. I cannot believe that I'm actually saying that.. I wanted to see Khloe. I wanted to fix us. I've had these damn nightmares for the past week; they're there every time I close my eyes and I just want it to fucking go away. I wanted everything to go back to normality for once. I've been saying that a lot lately and I cannot wait for the day when the world stops working against me and starts working with me.
It'll be a miracle sent from God when that happens.
After I dropped Zayn and Perrie off at the frat, I sped down the little road, leading me to Khloe's dorm building. I needed to talk to her. It was a definite must that has got to happen and it had to happen right now.
The parking lot was shit today. It took me ten minutes just to find an open spot, which was in the very last row, but nonetheless an untamable smile broke through and I couldn't seem to wipe it away as I stumbled to my feet.
I rushed into the building starting to feel confident and happier than ever. I was nervous, yes, but I think the thought of actually seeing her made my stomach flutter so much that I eventually became numb to the nervous feeling.
I rushed through the main lobby and into the elevator, repeatedly tapping the floor button, already knowing that it wouldn't go faster, but I continued for the hell of it. I had my hopes.
The doors opened and I had jumped out faster than the flash of lightning. Sprinting down the halls, my chest became tight and my hands clammy. When I made it to her door, I took a deep breath, bring my fist up. I knocked three times and stood back with my hands behind my back.
No thoughts poisoned my head and I wasn't even really sure what I was going to say, but I just needed to see her face. It's been almost two weeks and I can't take this distance anymore. It was starting to make me sick being away from her embrace.
"Niall?" I was surprised to see Gemma standing at the door, even though it was her room too, and it seems that she was surprised to see me as well.
I rolled my eyes and pushed past her, walking into the room. My eyes roamed around seeing complete emptiness before I looked back to Gemma.
"Where's Khloe?"
"Not here." she crossed her arms.
"No shit. Where is she?"
"Maybe you should call her and have her tell you herself."
"Gemma."
"This guy, Ashton, left his number on the fridge. That might help if she doesn't pick up her phone. But I'd call before you go there.. who knows what they're up to. They were pretty cozy here earlier." Her smirk was made by the devil and I felt all my blood freeze.
No.
There's no way.
She wouldn't do that, right? It's only been two weeks. She couldn't have found someone else already...right?
"Okay, now that you know she's not here, please leave. No one wants to see you."
"You're such a bitch." I huffed and turned on my heel.
"Boo hoo." she slammed the door after me, causing a couple walking down the hall to turn and look. I rolled my eyes and walked the other way towards the stairs.
She wouldn't do that. Gemma's lying. There's no way in hell she would move on so fast. She can't.
And getting cozy?
Was she... she wouldn't do that, would she?
This can't be happening.
I rushed down the stairs in desperate need of getting to the frat to find Louis and have him explain. He has to know something.
I hit the last step, automatically coming to a stop.
This cannot be fucking happening.
We weren't even broken up! ....Well, not that I know of anyway!
There stood Khloe, my Khloe, out the window, her red suitcase in hand, a smile on her face and an arm wrapped around a tall man who looked like a fucking girl with his long locks.
His arm was draped over her shoulder and he was smiling as she started to laugh. I noticed the way her eyes crinkled in the corners and her cheeks rose to meet them.
He helped her place her bag into her truck, closing it for her before spinning her around and pulling her into his chest.
She buried her head into his shirt and I could feel the jealous rage throughout my body. She pulled away, smiling, jumping into her car and backing out as he stood there with his hands in his pockets.
This was it.
We were really over and Khloe really was done with me.
And I though that my dad's physical slaps across the face hurt like a bitch. No one warned me about watching your world travel into another galaxy.
Before I could stop my feet, they were moving- storming out of the waiting area and out onto the pavement.
The thing glanced to me, it's eyes growing wide as it noticed the dead set, cold look on my face."
"Man, Niall I-"
I quickly and steadily cut him off by twisting his black shirt in my right fist, my left forcing it's way past the air's molecules and into his jaw.
There was a crack felt against his cheek as a bust a blood shot of of his mouth. I turned and rammed his back into another person's car, accidentally setting the alarms off with the impact.
"I don't know who the fuck you are, but you leave my damn girlfriend alone!" I gritted my teeth together, shoving him again as he tried to say something. He took a sharp intake of air- the pussy can't even handle a punch or two.
"Do you understand!?"
"Niall, I-"
"DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!" I slammed his body against the hood again, pulling my knee up to his crotch.
"Fuck!" He groaned and bent over despite my hold, his face twisting in pain.
"Oh my God, Ashton!" I noticed a familiar girl's voice break out causing me to pause my movements and glance to the right. Harper stood there, a horrid look on her face as she glanced between both, this prick and I. She must know him from fucking Khloe.
"Harper, leave dammit."
"Niall, what the fuck!"
"Khloe is mine for fucks sakes! She cannot have guys fucking throwing themselves at her!" I yelled and groaned out, letting the thing's shirt fall from my hands.
"Niall, what are you going on about? Ashton's not throwing himself at Khloe!"
"Yeah? Then tell me why they were cuddled up in her dorm! Tell me why Gemma has his number on the damn fridge! Tell me why I walked out her to fucking see them glued to each other before she just fucking left!" I could feel the angry heat climb up my neck and on to my cheeks as if it were climbing a ladder.
"Ni-"
"No, Harper! Now leave so I can fucking finish what I started!"
"Niall!"
"WHAT?!"
"Ashton is my boyfriend, not Khloe's you asshole! You really think she would move on that fast?!" My heart stopped. What does she mean?
"What?" I could feel my eyes bug out of my head as I turned to see Ashton still in pain, staring at us. He pulled his lip between his teeth, nodding towards Harper.
"That's what I was trying to tell you. No wonder they both called you a dick."
"Aye, watch your fucking mouth!" I snapped, turning towards Harper. "Please fucking explain because I'm so lost right now." I wiped my hand that contained Ashton's blood, on my pants as I started walking to Harper.
"Let's go inside, you idiot. I'll explain there while you clean up your mess." I nodded. I sill don't feel bad, but fuck I just can't control myself sometimes. "And get that fucking car to shut the hell up!"
"Whatever, let's go." I spat. I walked back into the building, waiting on the steps for the two to come in. Harper was helping him up as he limped into the building.
I got him pretty good in the lower region... He might want to put some frozen peas on that...
She finally led us up the stairs to her room. I walked in and instantly got a whiff of Khloe's scent. I wanted to just melt right there.
"Go get cleaned up, I'll take care of him and we can talk in a minute." I nodded and walked into the bathroom, grabbing a rag from the small closet.
I ran my hand under lukewarm water, moving my fingers around a bit as I noticed the purple bruises stared to accommodate around my knuckles. It hurt like hell, that's for sure.
I glanced into the mirror seeing my hair tussled, instantly making me run my free hand through it. I glanced down, noticing Khloe's makeup bag sit on the edge of the sink along with her toothbrush and a hair tie. I don't know why, but as soon as I turned the water off and dried my hand with the cloth, I slipped the black elastic band around my wrist, feeling connected to her again in a weird way. It was as if it was evidence that she'd once been her and been mine before all of this.
Biting my lip, I slipped out of the bathroom and into the living room, sitting on the soft grey sofa, watching Harper and Ashton in the kitchen.
"So-" I cleared my throat. "-how long have you two been together then?"
"Six years." Harper smiled, taking a wet cloth to Ashton's cheek. I noticed min wince, but still allow her to clean up the blood. "Hold still; you bit your tongue." she placed her hands under his jaw makin him turn his face towards her.
"Seven in January." Ashton added once Harp had released his mouth so he could talk. I noticed a small smile appear on her lips before he pulled her between his legs since he was sitting on the counter, and pressed his lips to her's. "I love you." he whispered, even though I could clearly hear it.
I feel like such a douche right now. What was I even thinking?
"Love you too." she pecked his lips and I had to clear my throat again as the peck appeared to continue longer than it should have.
"Listen-" I stood up, stretching my hand out again to keep the blood flowing so it wouldn't bruise so badly. "I'm going to go, but I just need a small favor. Also, I really am sorry for assuming things just-"
"Niall, she's on the way to her mom's for thanksgiving." I paused mid sentence, looking to her with a questionable look. How did she-?
"How did you know that I wanted to know where she went?"
"I didn't." Harper smiled. "I want you to go there and make up with her already. She's been crying for days and she could use a little light in her day."
"Will she-"
"Doesn't matter. Just go. She needs you." Harper smiled and walked over to me, placing her hands in my back as she started to push. "Just go."
I smiled and started to walk, but not before telling Ashton I was sorry again. I mean, I practical just wrecked him for being a friend to Khloe when I wasn't there like I should have been.
Well, don't I just deserve the best boyfriend award this year.
Sighing, I climbed into my car, not even turning to go to my dorm to get clothes before I sped straight to the freeway, jumping on and just cruising. You could be sure that I wasn't stopping until I got there. Dead set, that by sundown, you could find my truck marked in the circular driveway, right in front of the cascade of stairs.
Nothing was going to stop me from seeing my girl.
She was mine from day one and no matter what, she'll be mine even after were buried six feet under ground.
There' not one thing- no power, no force, no disaster, no god, nothing- that can come between us.
She's the fire and I'm the ice and somehow the combination between us had created this puddle of a relationship to which I will continue to hold my part as long as she holds hers. Nothing will stop me from that. If we can get through this, there is no doubt in my mind that we won't always continue to find our ways back to each other.
Crappy chapter but I really don't care tbh. haha you have NO IDEA how many times I've re wrote this and restarted and added and taken out. I just don't know why this was so hard to write, but it was.
I'm sorry for the delay. Next will be up faster, even though it's only been 8 days hahha seems like longer!
Hope everyone had a good holiday break, and now it's back to school... yippie! ..not. I hate school so freaking much lol ...well OKAY! Night! Love you all! Xx :)