I was so cold. God. It was so fucking cold. I knew I was bundled under a blanket, soft, down, blanket, and yet I was freezing cold. What was going on. I work on moving my legs and found that I was frozen.
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!
"I hear you've been looking for me, bana-phrionnsa milis, milis."
I searched the dark but I couldn't see anything but midnight black and fog, so much fog and smoke, I suddenly felt like I was choking on it.
"What...what..."I cough. This isn't real. It can't be real.
"Ohhhh it's as real as I want it to be bana-phrionnsa milis, milis."
"Why, why can't I see you..." I whisper.
"You wish to see me, bana-phrionnsa milis, milis." A dark chuckle fills the air and then the fog lifts and smoke clears, and I can breathe again. It's him. Oh God. It's him. Branuel Or De A'lanuel's nephew. He's standing straddling my prone body in my bed. I work on keeping my breathing nice and even. Like hell if I'd let him see how much he scared me.
"Soooo brave...or are you merely stupid? So many humans are such...stupid sheep. So easily led to the slaughter."
"What...what do you want?"
"First, you will call me by my name, bana-phrionnsa milis, milis."
"Why? You're calling me something else."
"I'm complimenting you, you beautiful thing. I'm calling you, sweet, sweet, princess."
"Well, I don't like pet names, okay? If you want me to call you by your name, then you can call me by my name, I'm Annora, Annora Park."
"Ahhhh but that is not the whole of your name is is, Annora Gun Samhail Park."
"Someone's been spying on me, I see."
He laughs. "It's your turn."
"G'harna Yull Brennen." I watch as a blissful look takes over his face and I work on remaining completely still. I would give this psycho serial killer nothing, NOTHING!
"You say my name soooo sweetly, Annora Gun Samhail Park. Oh but how I wish I could take you." He frowns then and his arms tighten on my upper arms. "Do not think to escape me. This is a web dream, a dream of my creation. You cannot escape it until I decide to let you go."
"Again, I'm asking you, WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT?!"
"I want what I've always wanted! I want TO LIVE!" He screams in my face.
"You are living. You're a Fae Royal, your lifespan spans eons. Why...Why do this?"
"Do not play dumb with me Annora Gun Samhail Park! I know my uncle told me the sad oh so sad tale of my birth. Worthless, both my parents were worthless, stupid, worthless, pathetic creatures. But I am not. I have power, power that I will NEVER give up. Power that I will continue to accumulate."
"You cannot draw power from Fairy," I whisper.
"NO!" He snarls in my face. "But I can draw it from the human sheep you so love. I would take from you, and you would fill me with such power, such glory, such true magnificence I wouldn't have to feed for so long. But if I were to take you now...as you are now...I would have the Wild Host called down upon me. I will not risk that." He leans down closer to me and I swallow hard. He's pressed up against me, with only the blanket between us. And I can feel him, hard and unyielding against me. He's hard, Oh God, I want to throw up. "I should have taken you before that damn angel got to you, before you crossed into Fairy! If I had taken you before you crossed into Fairy, I may have been able to bypass the rules of the Sluagh and the Wild Host! But now!" His arms tighten even further. "NOW YOU ARE LOST TO ME..." but then his face forms a beautiful evil smile, "...for now...for now...I have figured things out, Annora Gun Samhail Park. And I know things...such beautiful horrors...horrors that will in the end give me what I need...what I want...and give me you. You think you understand. You know NOTHING. Do you know why I take them yet, bana-phrionnsa milis, milis?" I shake my head and he laughs, "Of course you don't. And you won't. You won't until it's too late ...too late for you...too late for them all. And then..." He get a dreamy look on his face.
I've got to keep him talking. He's letting too much go. His ego is talking now. He NEEDS to let me know he's smarter than me, that he knows more, that he can get to me. Keep him talking Annora, keep him talking Annora no matter what you have to do, keep him fucking talking.
"Then what, G'harna?"
"Ohhhhh I do so love my name from your lips, bana-phrionnsa milis, milis. My uncle thinks to make you his queen. But you will be no one's queen, You will be mine. In me. In me. Mine. Mine forever."
"How?" I swallow, trying to speak through my dry throat.
"Oh no no no...you don't get that, not yet, bana-phrionnsa milis, milis. Just know, you are mine, mine....only going to be mine. And I have figured a way around the Wild Host. And when I have succeeded, NOTHING, NOTHING will save you."
OUT! OUT! OUT! I want out of this dream. I pull every single mental shield I possess and pull them around me like a warm blanket. I fortify my shields and then I start to push...push as hard as I can. I CAN do this. I have to do this. When I feel him resisting, I call on my Empathy and FEED ON HIM! Let's see how he enjoys being the subject of his own rage and anger and horror. I feel his grip loosen and then I see the horror in his eyes.
"What...what...what do you do?" He screams at me.
I don't bother answering him, I work on making sure that my Empathy is pulling at him, haunting him HURTING HIM!
"NO NO NO NO! You cannot escape my Web Dream. It is of my making. It is mine. What is this. What are you?"
I grit my teeth and bare them at him before spitting out. "Your worst fucking nightmare. Now get the FUCK out of my head, you sick sonofabitch!" And just like that the fog spreads the smoke fills the room and he disappears leaving me to choke once again on acrid burn.
"Oh Goddess...Goddess be...my beautiful one my milis..." Terrenel says, suddenly standing by my bedside. I almost throw up and scream,
"NO NO, don't call me that, don't call me that! Please, God, don't call me that!"
Terrenel looks haunted. He looks scared to touch me. "Mo ghràidh. I...I...I am so sorry this happened to you...can you...can you tell us what happened?" I look around and realize that they're all there, all my men. I begin to shiver and can stop the tears that fall from my eyes.
"Let her get dressed," Chamuel says. "And then...then perhaps we can talk."
I give him a grateful look and nod. Once they're all out of the room, I burst out in great giant sobs.
I look ridiculous I know I do. And you know what. At this moment I don't give two fucks. Okay so my pajamas had a giant kitty on them, so fucking what. I'd just been dream violated and I wanted comfort in any way I could get it; and THIS, is how I got it.
"Why my darling girl, I had no idea that you owned anything that didn't have barbed wires and spikes on it."
"Shuddup, Walker," I mutter, as I settle on a large soft looking couch—black again. "Really, god, you two," I look between Walker and Branuel Or De A'lanuel.
"What, my midnight queen. It is my preferred my color. It doesn't show blood when—"
"—when spilled," Walker finishes, and once again i look between the two of them,
Oh boy. Oh boy. They were waaaaaay too alike. It was getting somewhat spooky. I look around and realize that all four of my guys are there. And they're all wearing...speedos? Well except for Chamuel. What the hell? I mean this WAS sorta a fantasy of mine...a 'I-Walk-Into-A-Swim-meet' fantasy, but seriously.
"Yes, War Lak, I see you understand." Branuel's eyes gleam, "Perhaps you'd like to join me in the Wrath?"
"The Wrath?"
Branuel nods and smiles broadly. "The Wrath is my room...my special, special room. It is overseen by Yuriel...but I play often..." I can see that Walker understand and that he's about to agree when I interject.
No, I want my swim-meet fantasy back! "Ugh. Walker, you can agree to crazies offer AFTER we discussed things. Right now, I can't do this, do you understand?"
"Oh darling girl, of course. I'm so so sorry. I was incredibly unsympathetic to your plight."
"We both were," Branuel Or De A'lanuel nods somberly. "Forgive us."
I nod. And I try not to look at Walker's tighty-blackies, that have Deadpool all over them. "You're forgiven, as long we we don't talk about the Wrath or torture tonight...unless it has to do with this case, okay? Hey, and I just thought I should mention, I really like your Deadpool tighty-whities, Walker"
"These are not Tighty-Whities," Walker grumps.
And I laugh. They're black. But they're definitely tighty-whities, "sure they are. But I like them. I love Deadpool."
"You're being very reasonable," Chamuel murmurs. I look over at my angel. He has a pair of silk pajamas bottoms on, and nothing else. I guess he's too much of a prude for tighty-whities, or tighty-blackies for that matter. And his chest is beautiful. Perfect, and beautiful. And I feel...nothing. Well almost nothing. I can recognize his beauty, but it's a cold beauty that seems to unmove me. The stone in my chest feels as if it's spreading and I rub the aching spot on my chest.
"It's worse, isn't it?" Chamuel asks.
I nod. "I...I...I can hardly feel you guys...but him," I point to Branuel, "I can barely feel our connection anymore at all." I shift uncomfortably. "What did you do to Garrett. I...I should really check on Garrett."
Chamuel growls, in fact, they al growl. "Goodson is just FINE! Do you understand, my amour. I left him sleeping soundly in Walker's home. He will not wake until we return, and we've figured this out. But...you worry for him."
"Of course I worry for him. He's my partner. He's my...my..." And the stone in my chest seems to ease a bit and I can breathe again... "...I...I feel so much for him and I worry so much for him. Nothing better have happened to him, Chamuel, or I WILL come after you."
"Branuel Or De A'lanuel. You will fix this. Is there no way to speed up your healers self healing? It is only getting worse." Chamuel says hoarsely.
"So I see," Branuel murmurs. "I will send Desharra to her daughters side. Perhaps between the two of them they might speed up the healing."
"Sounds like I plan," I mutter. I tuck my legs under my knees and regard all four of them with varying looks of distrust. I don't know why I feel this way—well, I do. But I hate it. I hate the strains the bonds are under. It feels...it feels...soooo wrong!
"Your...your...pajamas have...ears on them," This was from Terrenel, and I stifle a laugh. "And, you're wearing a speedo, dude. So, I wouldn't be talking, okay."
"A, what?"
"A speedo is what competitive swimmers wear when they compete," Chamuel says dryly.
"And you think this is what I'm wearing to sleep in?"
I swallow deeply and look between him, Branuel and Walker and nod slowly. "Uhmmmm yeah it's what y'all are wearing, The only one that looks semi-decent, is Chamuel."
"Why, thank you, amour."
"I'm not particularly saying that as a compliment, Chamuel. I mean..." And I eye the guys packages discreetly. "There's something to be said about speedos to bed."
"But your pajamas have ears on them," Terrenel says again.
"Yeah, they're uhhhh...cat ears." I say, "So what."
"Cat ears?"
"I really like Hello Kitty."
"It's true, my Annora darling loves her Hello Kitty. It's actually pretty ridiculous. She likes knives and guns, wears steel toe boots can kick your ass six ways to Sunday and carve out your heart smiling, but she adores Hello Kitty." Walker shrugs. "I tried to bleed it outta her...but she wasn't having any of it. She just was set on making sure everything when she was fifteen was Hello Kitty. Hell, I didn't even realize you still had Hello Kitty pajamas, Annora darling girl."
"I still have the Hello Kitty toaster too, Walker."
Walker laughs. "Now I know you're joking."
"Nope. I mean, sure the toast comes out a little burned, but at least it comes burned with a Hello Kitty face on it."
Walker laughs heartily. "And you call ME psycho?"
I share a small smile with him and shake my head. "Having a hello kitty toaster which makes kitty cat faces is a far cry from carving off human faces, Walker Sergei Romanoff."
Walker shrugs, "Potato Potatttaatoohhhh."
I roll my eyes. "AND THAT is why I will NEVER be as psycho as you are, love."
Walker cocks his head to one side. "You...you just called me love."
I shrug. "Yeah, so what of it."
"I don't think you've ever done that before, Annora darling."
Again I shrug, but now I'm frowning. "Soooo what?"
"Baby girl, why are you angry? I'm so so pleased that you called me love."
Why was I angry? Yeah, why the hell was I angry that he had pointed out the obvious. Oh yeah, because my bonds were straining, and everything seemed to piss me off these days. Hell being pissed off pissed me off!!
"I...I do love you Walker."
"And me...do you love me, my amour." Chamuel murmurs.
I swallow. Why, why were they making me do this now? I'd just had a traumatic experience. I didn't want to do this right now.
"The bonds my love, they bonds are straining. They MUST be reconfirmed. You HAVE to admit how you feel for us, as often as possible until we can fix what happened to you."
"But..."
"No, my amour, please, I beg you...say it...say it."
I swallow. And look deep in that place within me, that place I so often push aside and pull it forth. "I...I....I...oh Chamuel. You...you came into my life like a storm, a tsunami and you upheaved EVERYTHING. I thought...there were times I thought I hated you, but...GOD, I could NEVER, NEVER hate you Chamuel. I...I...love you, Chamuel. I do. I didn't even know how much much until this very moment, when the bonds are near to breaking." I feel tears roll down my face, "I...didn't even realize how much I love you. I love you so much." And suddenly Terrenel is there, by me, holding my hands.
"And me my gaol gràdhach, gràdhach, mo aon agus a-mhàin."
I smile. "Pretty words...what did you say, Terrenel?"
"I called you my darling darling one, my one and only."
I sigh and wrap my arms around him and instantly the warmth in my body begins to spread and the concrete seems to lessen. "You...you I did not expect. Hell. I didn't expect to look like this less be bonded to you, Terrenel. But somehow...somehow in a short period of time you've, you've wormed your way into my heart and soul."
"And..." he says, "Please my darling one, please say the words, as you have said them to the others."
"I...I love you." And I'm suddenly engulfed in a bone crushing hug. "Oooommph can't...can't breath, Terrenel" he lets me go immediately, but he caresses my face.
"You are everything, my one and only. You are, the air, the light, the very sun and moon that the Goddess brought upon Tir na nOg. You are all of it and more. I was lost, so lost until you came into my life. I can't breathe without you. I cannot think I cannot do anything but breathe you in, my love."
Whoa. Oh boy, I mean, oh BOYS!
"Do I not get the same sentiment?" This from Branuel Or De A'lanuel. And I narrow my eyes dangerously at him. I circle within Terrenel's arms so that my back in pressed against his front and I can stare at the Dark Fae King, and he can see the truth mirrored in my eyes.
"I don't know you, Branuel Or De A'lanuel" I stiffen when he comes forward and he stops about two feet from where I am. His eyes are swirling and seem...sad.
"You do. You do know me."
I shake my head. "No. I don't know you."
"You do, my midnight queen, my treasure. Your would knows me. You were meant to be mine, as I was meant to be yours."
"No, I don't. Everytime I think we're making headway something gets blown the fuck up, Branuel Or De A'lanuel."
"That is Amira," And he spits her name out. "That bitch has made this happen."
I sigh and snuggle deeper in Terrenel's arms. "No, you've made this happen, Branuel Or De A'lanuel. You're a sociopath. Hell, you're a self-admitted sociopath. I can't. I just can't do this with you. You're...you're cruel, and terrible, and you delight in being both. I can't be with someone like that."
"Amour..."
"No, Chamuel do not try to sway me in this. This guy...he is NOT a good guy. He is a total sociopath and you know that. How can you, and how can The Graces expect me to make a relationship between him and I work? It's not possible. I could never trust him in the bedroom, and you know that."
"You like to bottom, my amour."
I blush beet red. He had not right to say that. "Oh my GOD! You're so dead, Chamuel. You don't just blurt that shit out."
"We are like family here, my amour. Your men deserve to know all."
"Well, I may bottom in the bedroom, hell, I may even switch, but I don't bottom the way he WANTS me to. I wouldn't survive what he wants to do to me, Chamuel."
"You would, my beloved."
"Oh my God. Why are you encouraging this?"
"Because I KNOW, it is what HE designed. And I know it is what the Graces said would happen."
"I don't believe that."
"That is because the Healer has placed these doubts into your head."
"No! That's because he's a total sadist...beyond a sadist and I only appreciate a certain amount of pain with my pleasure."
"He will change for you, amour,"
"No one can change THAT much, Chamuel."
"He can, and he will, my beloved. Please do not fight this."
"I don't know how to do anything else, love," I murmur.
"I know," Chamuel smiles slightly. "And....I love that about you. Your fight, your forever fight. But this is one fight you cannot win, my beloved. This was pre-destined. HE designed it this way."
"I don't—"
"—believe it, I know that, my beloved. But the truth it shall remain. You are who you are. He is who he is. And the two of you SHALL meet in the middle. You will bond with him. You will bond with all of us. He will be the most difficult of all...but you will complete the bond with him, my love."
"But..."
"Annora, my beloved. You said you loved me."
"I...I do."
"Then please, please trust me in this."
Trust him. God. It was so hard to do. BUT....I did rust him. I did trust my beautiful angel. "Okay. All right, Chamuel. I'll try to keep an "open mind" in all of this. But I make no promises. Do you understand," I turn to Branuel Or De A'lanuel then and say the same. "Do you understand what I'm saying? That I make no promises?"
"I do." And a zing pops between us. Apparently Fairy heard us too. Well, I guess that's good.
"Do I least appeal to you physically?" Branuel asks and my mouth goes dry. He wearing those speedo like things and they're black. He's so fucking hot it's ridiculous.
"You..." and I try again. "You KNOW, you're....beautiful."
"Women are beautiful, men are handsome, my midnight queen."
"That's a crock of shit, but whatever. You know you're totally handsome, Branuel Or De A'lanuel. Of course, I wouldn't mind if you put on a little more clothing right now."
"Why? 'This IS more clothing. Usually I sleep in the nude, my beautiful queen."
I groan. Not helping. I try to keep the fire burning, but suddenly that lead stone is back, settling deeply in my chest, and I glare at him, "Just put on more clothes, Bruanuel Or De A'lanuel. Put on some damn fucking clothes!"
"You're not asking the rest to clothe themselves."
"Actually," I swallow and cast my eyes around. "I'd appreciate it if you all would put on more clothes."
"Must they all have kitties on them," Walker asks with a grin on his face.
I roll my eyes. "Walker just put on some damn clothes!" Walker laughs and snaps his fingers, after a minute he frowns. "Hmmmm...this is not exactly what I had in mind." And I burst out laughing.
"Ohhhh...ohhh...ohhhh..." I wrap my arms around my middle and can't stop laughing. "Walker...that's that...that... that is absolutely perfect." Walker was now clothed in a full Deadpool onesie pajamas suit. It covered him from top to bottom. And was absolutely just perfectly him. "I...I..." I grin, "I...take it this wasn't exactly what you were expecting?"
"Oh you think this is funny..." Walker says with a laugh. "How's this?" Walker snaps his fingers and suddenly Chamuel is wearing a similar oneside but an angel one. Now I'm dying. I'm literally doubled over laughing so hard.
"Don't you dare!" Terrenel says from my back but within a moment he too is wearing a giant onesie but this one is a unicorn, complete with a rainbow horn.
"Oooohh....ohhhh....this...this...this...is...is...toooooooo goooood...." I can't stop laughing, I barely can see through my tears when Walker forms a devil onesie around Branuel Or De A'lanuel. "Oh my Gah!" I laugh even harder. "That is absolutely one hundred percent perfect."
"I fail to see what is amusing about all of this," Branuel Or De A'Lnauel says angrily.
Walker narrows his eyes . "It has made our darling girl laugh and smile for the first time since that awful dream, hasn't it? I'd say that that is a success."
That dream. It's like a bucket of cold water over my head and I stiffen in Terrenel's arms.
"No, no Mo bhanrigh bhòidheach bhòidheach," Terrenel pleads. Do not pull away from me...from us. Please, we are here. We are here for you. Please, tell us...won't you tell us what happened."
These were my guys. Well, I eye Branuel warily—for the most part—
"Okay. But first," I point to Branuel, "We make the devil watch The King and I."
"...So he dies..." Branuel Or De A'lanuel says looking perturbed.
I nod. "Yes, but that's not the—"
"—He finds her, realizes all these...things, almost loses her. Get's her back, and then he dies."
"Yes, but—"
"—No. I don't like this movie," Branuel Or De A'lanuel says still looking perturbed.
"Ugh. You missed the entire point of the movie."
"What was the point then?"
"The point was that a good woman, the right woman can make you change, Branuel Or De A'lanuel," Chamuel says quietly from his seat by my side.
"YES!" I fist bump Chamuel. "That's the point."
"What is it that you just did?" Branuel asks.
"What I did?"
"Just then, to the High Heavenly Host."
"Oh, a fist bump."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you do it?"
"It's like a, yay...I agree, kinda thing."
"Then lets fist bump."
I giggle, I can't help it. And I shake my head. "You and I can't fist bump."
"Whyever not?"
"Because, well, it doesn't work that way. You and I didn't agree...we can't fist bump."
"Then, I agree with you."
I roll my eyes. "Seriously, Branuel, it doesn't work that way. You're way overthinking this fist bump thing. Not to mention why does it even matter that much to you?"
"Because I wish...I wish..." He drops his head and suddenly seems unsure. I'm stunned. He's always so self-assured.
"Branuel?" I ask.
"I WISH TO SHARE THE SAME WITH YOU!" He shouts suddenly.
I draw back shocked. "Ohhhh Branuel..."
"They all...they all have your love. They have it. And they all share things with you. You and I...we share...nothing and yet we share EVERYTHING!" He thumps his chest. "I can feel you here! Do you understand, Mo bhanrigh àlainn meadhan-oidhche? I feel you, you are always here. A constant beautiful thing that blooms further and faster every day. You fill me to bursting. I can think I nothing but you. And you...you barely think of me, and what you do think of me...it is not good. And now because of Amira, that bitch's treachery you think even less of me." He moves so fast I barely see him, and suddenly he's kneeling in front of me, his hands holding mine tightly, urgently. "Please Mo bhanrigh àlainn meadhan-oidhche, please tell me what I must do to have this with you. I...I...I need you like I've never needed anything before."
"Even blood." I whisper softly. Not sure where that came from. He draws back, but still holds my hands in his.
"What?" He whispers.
"Is your need for me greater than your need for...blood. Would you...would you give up the needless torture if I asked it of you? Would you...would you mend things between you and Terrenel Tir Oben...my other bonded. Would you, Branuel Or De A'lanuel?" I wait with baited breath. The silence seems to stretch FOREVER, and then, solemnly he nods his head.
HOLY SHIT!
"My need for you is a beautiful wound that never heals. A wound I would NEVER give up, I would never ask to heal. It spreads, bleeds enough to appease my need for anything else...anyone else's blood, my beautiful queen. So yes, I would give up the needless torture if you asked it of me. As for my...issues with Terrenel Tir Oben." He turns to face him then. "I would be willing to sit down and speak to him of old hurts and wounds, to see if we can get past them."
I look at Terrenel and can see that he looks absolutely shocked. I won't lie, I'm pretty shocked myself. I mean, this is big, like really really big, heady stuff.
"I...the horrors your family wrought on mine..." Terrenel murmurs and I swallow—hard. Oh God. He's going to say no. Please, oh Terrenel, don't say no. "I...I would be willing to hear you out, Branuel Or De A'lanuel."
I let out the breath I'd been holding and smile a genuine smile. NOW we were getting somewhere.
Suddenly it's back. That solid rock. The piece of cement lodged where my heart should be and I feel myself stiffen. "Please let go of my hands," I murmur, grateful when he does so.
"Have I...have I...made you happy, my beautiful midnight queen?" Branuel asks hopefully.
The stone is still there in my chest, but I nod, because it's true. He HAD made me happy—for a short while.
"Now...can you tell us what happened? He asks.
I take a deep breath and I let it out. I let it all out.