｡˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
I imagined what the secret fears of the boys might be or what
insecurities they don't really like to talk about and ended up with this
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𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓭
"Ah shit, not right now."
You quickly jerked into a sitting position and leaned your head back, already noticing the feeling of blood flowing through the upper part of your nose.
Ushijima rose his body as well, pausing the movie you had watched until now and giving you a concerned look.
"Are you alright, (y/n)?"
You quickly nodded at his question and leaned your head further back, even though you knew that this was something you shouldn't do since it would only cause the blood to flow to your head.
"I am, can you give me a tissue please?"
He did as you said, quickly grabbing a box with tissues and handing one of them towards you, while he rested the package between the two of you.
You leaned your head forward a little to look at him and grab the soft textile, but in the same moment, you already felt blood running from your nose to your lips.
With an annoyed groan, you pushed the tissue beneath your nose and felt the red liquid quickly soaking it all the way through.
Hissing a curse, you quickly shifted another clean spot of the thin material beneath your nostril, while you used your thumb and index finger to push your nose together, as if you were trying not to be bothered by an unpleasant smell.
While you were waiting for the bleeding to stop, you wanted to give your boyfriend an apologetic smile and you already opened your mouth to say that this would only take a few moments.
But Ushijima only stared at you, with widened eyes and trembling lips.
His body suddenly seemed further away from you.
You hadn't even noticed that he had pulled away.
"Is everything okay, Toshi?"
Your voice sounded weird and hollow since you were holding your nose and it made you chuckle for a small second.
But your boyfriend just seemed to tense more and eventually turned his head away, his fingers trembling.
With a frown appearing on your face, you tried to get a better look at his face.
While you did that, you dropped the hand holding the blood soaked tissue in your lap, making all the red spots visible for him.
And upon seeing that, Ushijima quickly jumped up, his strong legs trembling as he took two steps away from the bed and staring at you for a moment, before he turned his head away and a shiver seemed to run down his spine.
He looked down as he started fidgeting with his fingers, uncertainty filling his voice.
"I... I can't see blood." was all he mumbled with his deep voice and your eyes widened in shock.
You hadn't known that. If you had, you would've gone to the bathroom to spare him the sight.
"Oh no, I'm sorry, I didn't know!"
You noticed that the bleeding of your nose had stopped and you quickly wiped the last stains of blood away with the tissue, before you pushed it into the pocket of your pants, planning to throw it into the next bin.
"I'm sorry, Toshi. I'll remember it next time."
You moved up from the bed as well, cursing your own stupidity as you wanted to head for the bathroom.
"I'll quickly wash everything off, I'm so sorry, I'll go immediately go to the bathroom the next time it happens."
Just when your hand rested on the handle of the door, you felt how Ushijima hesitantly grabbed your other wrist, slowly pulling you back from the door and into his arms.
His fingers were still trembling, but you noticed that he tried his best not to show it.
"I should be sorry. For having such a stupid fear."
Upon hearing his words, you quickly turned around and cupped his cheeks with your hands - thankfully no blood had gotten onto them -, gently shaking your head.
"There's nothing stupid about that. It's pretty common." you said softly, caressing his cheekbone with your finger.
"But fears make us weak, don't they?" he asked and looked into your eyes.
As usual, his gaze was so pure and honest, so full with all the things he didn't know how to say.
You smiled and shook your head.
"Fears don't make us weak."
Wrapping an arm around him and pulling him closer towards you, you inhaled his scent and it immediately replaced the unpleasant feeling in your nose.
"They make us human."
𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐔
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼
A little shiver ran down your spine when another thunder roared over the sky and the sound of the wind howling outside made the entire night even more eerie.
The thunderstorm had started two hours ago and just wouldn't stop. Rain was pouring onto the roof and a few branches of the tree outside continued to hit the window over and over again.
Tendou sat next to you on the couch, flipping another page of his manga.
"Seriously, this never seems to stop, doesn't it?" you asked with a nod towards the window, to which Tendou only hummed and let the book down.
Your gazes met and he smiled at you with a little hint of mischief sparkling in his eyes.
"Hopefully it will stay like this tomorrow too, then we can lay in bed all day."
Chuckling a little, you wanted to answer, but before you were able to, all the lights around you turned off.
It was dead silent for a second, but when you realized what had happened, you let out a frustrated sigh.
"Ugh, it probably hit the power switch."
You started to get up from the sofa, searching for your smartphone in the darkness. After your eyes had got used to the lack of light, you finally found it.
"I'll check it out real quick."
Activating the screen to have some light, you made a step forward, but quickly stopped when a gasp reached your ears.
"Please don't go."
You furrowed your brows at the fearful sound of your boyfriend's voice and you turned your phone towards him, to get a look at his face.
When you saw it, all alarm bells inside your head started ringing.
Tendou's eyes were wide and frightened, his lips trembled and he dug his nails into the textile of his large hoodie.
Wasting no more thought about the power switch of your electric system, you fell down next to him, grabbing his fingers with one and caressing his cheek with the other hand.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
He avoided your gaze at that question and you noticed how he bit his lip as he stared into the surface of the couch.
"Ah, it's nothing. I just... I just was surprised because the light suddenly was gone."
His fingers trembled beneath your grip and you started to caress the back of his hand.
"Satori? You know you can talk to me if there's something wrong, right?"
He just nodded, slowly and uncertain, still staring into nothing.
With your other hand, you slowly turned his chin straight, so that he looked you in the eyes.
"Are you afraid of something? The thunderstorm?"
Tendou shook his head and looked to the side again, unable to stand your gaze.
"No, no. It's just...
He needed a moment to collect his words.
"I'm afraid to be alone in the dark."
His voice cracked a little and you placed your hand at his cheek again, trying to soothe him.
Even though you had been dating for a little while now, you hadn't known that he had that fear. Whenever you slept at his place or he slept at yours, he always fell asleep first and just now you remembered that there had always been a light activated.
Tendou pulled his hand out of yours and hid his face behind his fingers, letting out a frustrated groan.
"I'm sorry, this is ridiculous, I am so ridiculous."
You ruffled his hair and spread gentle, breathed kisses over the back of his hands.
"You are not ridiculous, Satori. It's okay to be scared sometimes."
Tendou dropped his fingers and gave you a suspicious look.
"Of course it is ridiculous. What 18 year old boy is scared of the dark? It's just childish."
You shook your head again and with a soft "It's okay.", you gave him a sweet kiss, feeling him sigh against your lips.
After pulling back, you smiled at him and the corners of his mouth also twitched upwards.
"I'm here, okay? There's nothing you have to be afraid of."
He nodded and looked down on his fingers, playing around with them in embarrassment.
"I'm sure that I can't do much about the electricity myself anyway. And my tablet still has 70% battery left, so how about we just binge watch that one anime you told me about?"
Tendou slowly nodded and wrapped his arms around you, burying his face inside your neck and spreading soft kisses over your skin.
"It doesn't matter what you're scared of. Whatever it is, you can always come to me when you feel terrified." you assured him and while you felt him nod once more against your shoulder, you buried your nose into his hair.
You slowly leaned back until he rested on top of you, his arms still wrapped around your body to feel your warmth that radiated so much safety.
𝐒𝐄𝐌𝐈
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼
Semi's fingers clenched a little harder around yours as the pilot started his speech and told the passengers about all the safety measures and things to do in an emergency.
"Oh yes, please continue talking about all the ways we could crash. It really helps me to calm down." he mumbled sarcastically and with a gentle chuckle, you started caressing the back of his hand.
"It's gonna be okay, Eita. It's just going to be an hour and then we're there."
You tried to give him an encouraging smile, but he didn't look very convinced.
"But we still have to take the flight back home. And one hour can be a long time."
You used your free hand to prepare your phone and the two headphones you had taken along. Before the flight, you had thought that the best way to distract Semi from looking out of the window and getting scared because of the immense height was to just watch a movie with him.
So you had bought a plugin that allowed the both of you to use your headphones on your phone.
When you handed the blonde his headphones, you felt how his fingers shivered.
"I know that's easy to say, but it really is going to be okay."
Moving your body up, you pushed a kiss against his cheek.
His face softened a little bit, but it still didn't look relaxed.
"The chance that a plane will crash is somewhere around 1 out of 10 million. We will arrive safe and sound, Eita."
He pushed in one bud of the headphones as he looked at you again.
"See? It's ONE out of 10 million. Not ZERO!"
You couldn't help but chuckle once more, even though you felt bad for it.
Semi just wanted to take a deep breath but instead, he harshly grabbed the armrests to his sides when the plane suddenly started moving.
His eyes widened and his lips were pressed to a line as he stared forward, completely tensed and his breath going more rapid.
"Take my hand, let me calm you a little." you said, running your fingertips over the knuckles of his hand.
"They're sweaty." was all he brought out.
"I don't mind."
With that being said, you gently loosened his harsh grip from the armrest and intertwined your fingers with his.
They weren't even sweating, they were just tensed and cold with fear.
You propped up your phone and started the movie, giving your boyfriend another kiss on the cheek to help him relax a little.
He looked at you for a second more, then leaned in closer and pushed a kiss against your lips, which you gladly accepted.
After parting, there finally was a little smile on his face, even though it quickly vanished when the plane took off from the ground.
"We will just spend this hour with watching a movie and making out from time to time, okay?" you suggested, a sweet smile on your lips.
Semi sighed and took another deep breath.
"Fine, I hope I'll survive this. If not, it's your fault." he said and looked at the phone you had propped up on the little table of your seats.
"It's not like you could really blame me when we don't make it..." you responded in a low voice.
You just couldn't stop yourself from making that comment.
And when Semi leaned his head back against his seat, he let out a frustrated groan, probably because his fear had skyrocketed once more.
"Don't say something like that, (y/n)!"
You chuckled a little at his whine and then rose your hand to run your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him by slowly massaging his scalp.
𝐑𝐄𝐎𝐍
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓷𝓼
"I think you have to rearrange your fangs a little bit." you said and gently poked Reon's cheek.
The wing spiker rolled his eyes and eventually took the fake wolf teeth out of his mouth.
"They annoy me anyway." he said and wrapped the little detail of his costume into a handkerchief, before he put it into his pocket.
You were at a halloween party hosted by one of your classmates. While Reon had simply put on wolf ears, a tail and the fangs for a costume, you had dressed up as a witch, with a fancy dress that complimented your curves and a nice hat - that sadly got stuck at too many corners.
As you were strolling through the party, you nipped at the cup in your hand, sometimes talking to a few people you knew from school, complimenting each other's costumes and asking about the ideas that had led up to it.
You were just talking to a girl from one of your courses, asking about her amazing makeup and what products she had used.
Reon stood behind you, texting someone on his phone and patiently waiting for you to end your conversation before he leaned forward so that you were able to understand him better as he asked: "Do you want another drink?"
You nodded, smiling up at him and rising on your tiptoes to push a kiss against his lips.
"Sure." you said after pulling back, smiling even more when he grabbed your hand and started walking with you through the crowd of teenagers, heading for the little bar that had been set up.
"Wakatoshi texted me that they just arrived." he said on the way and you felt a little jump accompanying your steps, looking forward to seeing his friends.
You loved to hang around with all of them and parties with all of them together were absolutely hilarious.
"Nice, I want to see their costumes." you responded as the two of you stopped in front of the bar.
Your words made him chuckle.
"I'm not really sure what to expect, I can imagine that Tendou and Goshiki bought a costume for everyone and the others just accepted it because they don't care."
You chuckled as well at that imagination, while Reon ordered two drinks for the two of you.
Right when he boy behind the edge of the bar handed over the first cup, you felt someone standing close to you and you looked to the side, wondering if it was someone you knew.
But upon looking up at the person, you winced.
It was the costume of a horror clown, not as terrifying as the IT-version, but scarier than most usual clowns, with painted blood splattered all over the mask they were wearing.
When the person reached out their arm for Reon, you quickly wanted to pull them back.
You knew that he hated clowns, especially scary ones and that he would freak out upon seeing this gigantic, real version of the terror clowns on TV.
But it was too late.
The foreign hand landed on Reon's shoulder and he turned his head, probably awaiting someone he knew.
But when he saw the horrifying mask, the blood, the red hair and the widened eyes in front of him, he was completely frozen in shock for a moment.
The clown wanted to get a step closer towards him and Reon let out a little yell at the movement, dropping the cups in his hands and spilling the drinks on the floor.
Everything happened too fast for you to process.
You heard the voices of the other members of the volleyball team behind you, in the same moment in which Reon instinctively smashed his fist against the mask on the face, making the long, slim body of the clown fall backwards and hitting the ground.
The blackhaired stumbled back another time, heavily breathing and tugging at his shirt a few times, as if he was sweating.
He couldn't even look down on the clown in costume, he just wrapped his arms around his torso and turned his body away, staring against the front side of the bar.
"Holy shit Reon, that's what I call a punch."
You looked down towards the person, holding your breath for a moment as they pulled off the mask.
And your eyes widened in horror when you noticed that it was Tendou who was looking up at the two of you, grinning wide.
"Oh my god, Tendou!" you exclaimed and clamped your hand over your mouth.
Reon quickly turned down around as well and his eyes widened, before he quickly squat down next to the middleblocker, yet still holding a healthy distance towards his costume.
"Shit, shit, I'm sorry man!" he quickly apologized and it was obvious to you how embarrassed he felt.
"Aw, don't worry, I'm used to scare people off." Tendou grinned and grabbed his hand to be pulled up to his feet him.
"Why did you have to dress up for a clown out of all things?" Reon asked with a sigh, ruffling his hair and shivering another time when his eyes went over the costume once more.
"Why not? Are you scared of them?"
The wing spiker nodded at his question and tried to regulate his harsh breathing, the shock still lingering in his limbs.
"You shouldn't tell Tendou what you're scared of, he will prank you with no end." Semi said and stepped towards the three of you, being followed by Ushijima and Yamagata.
"Great, now I not only will have a heart attack whenever I see a clown, but also when I see Tendou..." Reon chuckled in response and even though he seemed fine now, you still noticed how fidgety he was, that his hand still trembled and the shock still stuck in his bones.
You stepped next to him and intertwined your fingers with his to calm him a little.
He smiled at you and squeezed your hand a little.
"Tendou already looks like a clown, so there will be no difference." Yamagata said and the laugh that went through your boyfriend's chest at those words and Tendou's offended reaction assured you that the shock hadn't been too bad.
𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐀
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓸𝓻 𝓶𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮𝓼
You pulled the blanket over you and snuggled a little deeper into the body of your boyfriend, who sat behind you and had wrapped his arms around your torso.
Smiling in anticipation, you started the movie and a dark, looming song started playing from the speaker of the large television, rising more and more in its volume.
Everyone said that this movie was the scariest that had been published this year and since you absolutely loved horror films, you had longed for the day it was published on the internet.
Yamagata had only shrugged his shoulders when you had suggested to watch it, not seeming to have a problem with it.
You pushed your head beneath his chin and hurled into the libero's arms, enjoying the mixed warmth of him and the blanket.
The first twenty minutes of the movie were quite boring, the main characters were introduced and it seemed pretty innocent.
When you rose your hand to scratch over an itch on your shoulder, you felt a heavy jerk going through Yamagata's body and it startled you as well.
Turning your head over your shoulder as good as possible, you tried to get a look at him.
"Are you okay?"
A chuckle waved through your voice and you heard that he let out a nervous chuckle himself.
"Yes, sure. Of course. I'm fine." he said quickly, almost stumbling over his words before he cleared his throat.
You squinted your eyes a little and observed him more closely, but eventually, you turned your head straight again and looked back at the screen.
Even though he tried to hide it, you felt how hard Yamagata's breathing was. His entire body was tensed and when a loud noise came from the speakers, he jolted up, hitting your side with his knee.
You chuckled a little and caressed his leg, before you looked at the screen again.
The loud, dangerous music was getting louder and louder and when it stopped for a second, it only left dark silence inside the room.
You already expected it, but when a jumpscare ripped through the tensed silence, both of you jolted in your seats.
You let out an hysterical laugh and looked over your shoulder at Yamagata, wanting to see the expression on his face.
But when you saw it, your smile vanished and you needed a moment to process what was going on.
He shivered and covered his face with his arms, while fictional screams mixed with the loud, unnerving music coming from the speakers.
"Turn it off, please."
As he said that with a trembling voice, you noticed that he made himself as small as possible, as if he tried to hide behind your body so that he didn't have to see the characters getting massacred on the screen.
"Please turn it off."
You didn't hesitate to do as he said and quickly pushed the button on the remote to hit pause, ending the gruesome sounds and loud, horrifying music.
Silence spread through the room, only interrupted by Yamagata's heavy breathing. His arms still trembled and with worry and concern written over your face, you turned completely towards him, reaching out for him with your arms.
"Are you afraid of horror movies?" you asked with a soft voice, cupping his face in your hands and looking up into his eyes.
You felt his cheeks heating up beneath your fingers and after he looked at you for a moment, he turned his gaze away.
He only nodded, as if he was too ashamed to speak with trembling lips
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Your eyes were full of concern and you hoped he understood that your words weren't meant in an accusing way.
"Because it's embarrassing and..."
He paused and then continued in a lower voice, almost a mumble.
"And I didn't want you to think that I'm a loser." he admitted and your eyes widened in worry.
"Oooh baby, I would never think of you that way."
You quickly wrapped your arms around him and dropped to the side with him, pushing your lips against his once you rested on the mattress of your bed.
With a sigh that almost sounded relieved, he kissed you back and wrapped his arms around you as well, getting lost in the sweetness of your lips.
"It's okay that you don't like it, I know many people who are scared of these movies."
Caressing his cheeks and running your fingers through his hair afterwards, you smiled and brushed your nose against his.
"Let's watch something else, okay? Disney or Ghibli?"
He buried his face inside the crook of your neck and you felt him nodding.
Even though he usually preferred to watch action movies and comedy, he seemed pretty relieved when you started to browse through the variety of animated movies, eventually settling on my neighbour totoro.
𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐔
𝓬𝓵𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓱𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓪
The rails screeched when the subway came to a halt and you looked up from your phone, waiting for the doors to open.
"Ah shit, it's so full today."
Upon hearing the voice of the brown haired boy next to you, you looked at him.
Shirabu already grimaced as he thought about stepping into the train and you tried to cheer him up by saying: "At least it won't take long. We only have to go six stations."
With that being said, the two of you stepped inside the vehicle, being greeted by thick air and the mixture of different people's scents.
Shirabu grimaced once more, while he searched for a free seat somewhere. But everything was full, so there was no other chance but to keep standing and with an annoyed groan, he got a hold on the long pole above his head.
You stepped next to him and simply got a hold on his upper arm, using it as your own support.
He gave you a short look because of that and you returned it with a sweet smile.
Even though it was very small, you thought to see the corners of his mouth twitch a little upwards when he turned his head straight again.
The doors closed, trapping all the people inside the unpleasant, thick atmosphere and you started to fan some air to your face, even though it didn't help much.
"Doing that is pretty counterproductive, since you only fan hot air to your face. And that will make you sweat only more." was his comment and you smiled as you leaned your head a little against his arm.
"You're such a smartass, Kenjiro." you chuckled and he wanted to protest, but in that moment, the train started moving and he had to hold his balance somehow.
With each of the next three stops, the train got fuller and fuller, the scents mixed even more and the air got thicker.
You grimaced when you and Shirabu were pushed towards the window of the wagon, there was almost no possibility to move without touching another person.
And when you noticed it, you shot a concerned look towards the setter's face, knowing that this was basically a nightmare for his claustrophobia.
As expected, he looked tensed. His fingers around the pole were almost white because of the pressure he grabbed it with, his lips trembled and you noticed how quickly his chest heaved up and down.
He pushed his back even further against the window and his eyes frantically went over the other people, wincing whenever someone's hand or bag grazed his figure.
This was what you had already expected. There were only two stops to go, roughly four minutes more to endure.
You leaned your shoulder against the window and tried to keep your balance only on your feet, since you had been forced to let go of his arm.
"Kenjiro. Look at me."
You had to raise your voice a little over the sounds of the rails and the other people, but he heard you and looked at you.
His thoughts were obvious, written all over his eyes.
"I need to get out. Please get me out of here."
"Can you show me that one breathing technique you learned two weeks ago?" you asked, noticing how his breath hitched.
It was always quite difficult to deal with Shirabu in moments like this. He was so stubborn and didn't want to be lectured.
It had taken you a while to figure out what to do when he got like this.
The setter opened his mouth and stared into the crowd around him once more, twitching for a moment when someone was pushed against him.
"You- you inhale deeply and count down from fifty. And with each number you say, you ex- you exhale."
It was hard to speak for him because he inhaled so deeply that his throat was full with air, but he always drew in new oxygen, because he had the feeling he couldn't breathe.
"Okay, show it to me, I'll adapt to it." you said and he looked at you again when he deeply inhaled.
You did the same and when he brought out a shivering "fifty", you exhaled with him.
A smile appeared on your lips and you looked as deep as possible into his eyes, so that he only concentrated on you and his breathing, forgetting the many people around him.
But that was hard when someone suddenly bumped into him and pushed him harder against the window.
You saw his eyes widen and his breath hitched even more, his fingers started to tremble again and you noticed how he quickly pushed the man away, making him fall against another person.
He pressed himself against the window, making himself as small as possible.
"Hey." you said softly, gently rubbing over his arm not to startle him.
"We only got to fourty-three, we should continue, shouldn't we?"
He nodded and with trembling legs, he straightened his body again, looking back into your eyes.
You counted and breathed for a few more minutes, until finally, your stop was announced and you moved forward, intertwining your fingers with Shirabu's, who was even faster than you.
The doors had barely opened when the two of you jumped outside, taking a deep breath once you stepped into the station.
"Oh god that was so disgusting." he exhaled as you walked up the stairs of the underground station, trying to catch his breath.
You nodded and wiped your forehead, looking up and seeing the end of the stairs getting closer.
A nice breeze awaited you at the top and you noticed how deep Shirabu inhaled, filling his lungs with it and eventually letting it out in a relieved sigh.
You noticed that he still held your hand. And you frowned a little at that.
Before you were able to ask a question, Shirabu looked you in the eyes, almost seeming a little embarrassed.
"Thank you for being there for me in moments like that." he said with a low tone.
"No problem." you smiled and winked as you squeezed his hand a little.
"Do I at least get a reward for it?"
Furrowing his brows a little, Shirabu looked at you, but after looking at your pure smile for a few moments, he just let out a defeated sigh.
"Ugh, fine."
With that, he leaned forward and pushed a kiss against your lips, a soft and thankful one, his mouth moving slowly and tender against yours.
Before he was able to pull back, you wrapped your arms around him and kissed him more eager, chuckling at the way he groaned into the kiss.
Nevertheless, he placed his hands at your hips, holding you in place as his lips got adjusted to your movements
You knew he hated public display of affection, so you decided to enjoy this moment as long as possible.
𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼
You felt how much Taichi's leg was shaking and how unsteady his breath was as you sat in the waiting area of the hospital.
With pity in your gaze, you looked at him, already opening your mouth to say something comforting, when suddenly, the door was opened and a nurse stepped inside.
"Kawanishi Taichi?"
You noticed how he took a rapid inhale before standing up, his movements tensed and robotic.
"Can I come along?" you asked, already on your feet when the nurse looked at you.
She gave you a smile and nodded as she said: "Sure."
Hyposensitization.
Whenever Taichi had heard that word during the past three weeks, he had become so uncomfortable that you just wanted to pull him into a hug - which you had done most of the times.
His allergies had gotten pretty bad during the previous months and since he had continued to protest whenever someone had told him to get shots to get his immune system used to the allergies, his mother had made an appointment for it.
He had told you that he knew this was the best decision, but his fear of getting injections had been too high to make an appointment himself.
And the fact that that procedure would be repeated weekly for a while didn't help with that.
Now you sat next to him in the treatment room, waiting while the nurse prepared everything.
The doctor had explained the procedure and continuation of the treatment and had told them that the nurse would take care of the injection, since it "wasn't a big deal afterall".
Taichi had only clicked his tongue at that.
For him, it was a big deal.
But you also knew that he was way too stubborn and too proud to admit his fear in front of a doctor.
"Do you want me to hold your hand?" you asked quietly, already noticing how he tensed up at your words.
He slowly shook his head.
"No, it's fine."
You just smiled and nodded. You knew that he wasn't a fan of publicly displaying affection and you respected that.
Even though you just wanted to hold his hand to show him everything would be okay.
"Alright, we can start now."
The nurse turned around with a metallic tray that carried the syringe and the needle.
You noticed how Taichi's eyes slightly widened at the sight and he dug his fingernails into the cushion of the chair he sat on.
When he had to hold out his arm so that the woman was able to tie his arm and spray some desinfectant on it, you saw how hard he trembled.
And you weren't the only one.
"Are you okay, young sir? If you are uneasy or have problems with getting injections, we should do this on the treatment trolly." the nurse asked and stopped to search for a vein on the inside of his elbow, honest concern in her voice.
Taichi quickly shook his head, trembling and staring down on the wet, cold spot on the inside of his elbow.
"No, it's- it's okay."
You let out a little sigh and then placed your hand on his arm, the touch immediately made him jolt.
"If you don't lay down, you'll probably gonna faint."
Making your voice sound as soft as possible, you gently ran your palm over his upper arm, noticing that his shivering got a little less.
"You're scared of needles, is that it?"
An understanding smile accompanied the nurse's question, but Taichi didn't even look her in the eyes.
Eventually, he nodded.
"That's no problem, we have many patients with that fear, it's quite common."
She guided him towards the trolley standing on the wall and with trembling knees, the ginger haired followed, laying down on the surface.
"It may hurt a little at first, but just try to think about the fact that after that, it will only benefit you."
The nurse started to tie his upper arm once again, searching for the vein on the soft flesh on the middle of his arm.
"(y/n)."
Your name slipping from his mouth barely reached you since it was so quiet.
But you did hear it and he didn't have to say anything else.
You quickly walked over towards him, standing behind his head and gently running one hand over his cheek.
But he only stared at the nurse who put the needle into the syringe, preparing it for the injection and you smiled when he rose his free hand up next to his head, moving his fingers a little in a sign that you were supposed to hold him.
Gladly, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little, caressing his skin with your thumb.
When the nurse directed the needle towards his skin, you felt how Taichi twitched for a short moment, a heavy breath leaving his lips.
Once again, worry sparked inside of you.
You didn't want him to get hurt by moving around too much during the injection. And overall, you just wanted to find a way to comfort him.
"Look at me, Taichi."
The sound of your voice made him lean his head back, looking up at you above him. Your hand still caressed his cheek, while the other one was holding his fingers.
"Just look at me." you repeated quietly, locking your eyes so deep with his that he didn't even realize the needle sinking into his skin.
𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐊𝐈
𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼
It was the middle of the night and you blinked against the darkness spread inside of Goshiki's room.
His parents weren't home and since it was the weekend, you had decided to use that opportunity to finally spend your first night together.
But now that your fatigue slowly waved off, you noticed that your boyfriend wasn't laying next to you, which made you sit up and frown.
Upon hearing a sound next to the door, you stretched your neck to get a better look.
"Tsutomu?"
Your voice was careful and quiet, but when your boyfriend peeked into the room, you smiled.
"What's wrong?"
Rubbing your eyes to get a better sight, you heard how Goshiki got closer towards the bed with tapping steps.
"Ah, it's nothing." he answered, his voice tingling with a hint of nervousness, before he got into bed next to you again and wrapped an arm around you.
You nuzzled into the warmth of his body, pushing a gentle kiss against his neck before you tried to drift back to sleep.
But it was impossible since he kept on squirming around, not being able to rest.
After roughly five minutes, he let out a groan and got out of bed again, starting to walk around in the darkness of his room.
Furrowing your brows, you watched him.
"Tsutomu, tell me what's wrong." you said with a tired voice, noticing that he winced a little, as if you had caught him doing something wrong.
He looked at you and pressed his lips together, then he looked down and ruffled his hair.
"I- I need to go to the toilet." he said and that added even more to your confusion.
"Then... why aren't you going?"
Silence spread between the two of you and you wondered what bothered him so much. But before you were able to question it further, he started to mumble something.
"There's a spider in the corner of the bathroom." he admitted, almost too low for you to hear.
For a second, it was silent again, then it was broken by the chuckle leaving your lips.
"Don't make fun of me, I know this is embarrassing!" he whined and crossed his arms, a pout on his lips.
You stood up and walked towards him, wrapping an arm around his neck and pushing a kiss against his cheek.
"I'm not making fun of you. I'm just wondering why you didn't tell me from the start."
Then you grabbed his hand and started walking towards the hallway with him.
"I'm gonna get rid of it so that you can use the toilet." you declared and Goshiki winced when you swung the door to the bathroom open.
Your eyes scanned the room and when you found the spider sitting on the wall right next to the toilet, you narrowed your sight.
"There you are."
Before you were able to go further, Goshiki wrapped both of his arms around yours, trying to hold you back.
"Please don't go (y/n), that thing will kill you!!"
You managed to sneak your arm out of his grip and cracked the knuckles of your fingers while you stepped closer towards the wall.
"Not if I kill it first."
You snatched a piece of toilet paper and opened the toilet while you stood in front of the spider, investigating it with your sharp gaze.
Its legs weren't that long, but it had a rather fat body, which made it seem even bigger.
From the corner of your eye, you saw that Goshiki still stood next to the doorframe, watching you with a mixture of fear and awe.
Carefully, as if you were about to do a life-saving operation, you rose your hand with the toilet paper and brought it closer to the spider.
Even though you told yourself that there was nothing you had to be afraid of, you still felt your heart beating harder and your throat getting a little more dry with each inch your fingers got closer to the animal.
The edge of the paper grazed its hind legs and you wanted to sweep it off the wall and into the toilet in one go, but the spider was faster than you.
It fell off the wall and to the ground, which made you jump back, a hysterical scream coming from your mouth.
"FUCK, FUCK, GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"(Y/N)! IT'S GONNA BITE YOU, IT'S GOING TO EAT YOU"
Goshiki's scream mixed with yours and you stumbled back, quickly grabbing a deodorant from the shelf next to you and aiming it at the spider.
It got silent for a moment, both of you staring at the eight legs that tried to orient themselves.
The spider turned a little around its own axis for a second, then it stopped and you held your breath, noticing that your boyfriend did the same.
Then, it quickly started crawling towards you and you lost it.
"ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION! GET OUT, WE NEED TO CLOSE TO THE DOOR!"
Quickly turning around, you ran out on the hallway, both you and Goshiki jumping through the door at the same time.
"BUT WHAT IF IT CRAWLS OUT BENEATH THE DOOR?"
You quickly showed him to throw the door shut, which he immediately did. Meanwhile, you grabbed a dirty towel from the laundry ton and threw it in front of the door, pushing the textile against the slit with the tip of your foot.
You both kept standing like that, heavily breathing and staring at the towel on the ground, as if you just waited for the spider to push it to the side and crawl out on the hallway.
"I can never use this bathroom again." Goshiki whined and you shook your head.
"You have to burn the whole house."
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I especially wanted to write this to normalize boys having fears and being vulnerable in general.
just because someone is a boy,
doesn't mean that they always
have to be strong, that they are not allowed to cry or have fears.
boys deserve hugs and kisses and comfort and safety just as much as girls do.
spread love instead of hate and fuck gender stereotypes
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