Neil had reached to her and gathered her in hug where all she did was vigorously pushing herself away and wanted to run away.
All she wanted was to run away today from that voice, from those people who made her this weak, from herself , from everyone to her only solace that was her dadaji. She was doing that everyday, her dairy was evidence of her tears and bleeding heart.
I wonder how would that dadaji of hers sit there on the cloud looking everyday a point more bitter then usual. People may tell her a pure soul with affection but she knows what is that she carries everyday.
Right from wearing that coat which makes her question to treating people with family. She may have been successfully changed people's lives but yet she still has to take that extra effort for each breath she takes.
Neil-(while crying and trying to support her, he too was trying to be strong but ) shhh!!! You are not at fault. No one is here. I will keep them away from you. Just keep quiet , relax.
Avni- I.........a...ng....am.....n.....hiand she again broke down. Ask them to go please. I can't take them now. I am really sorry for them.......I a...and again she broke down trying to hide behind him.
Neil was having a hard time to calm her down. He was trying to saying nothings and shuing them away to make her relax abit.
He just hugged her and no good as she was still crying. He knew that if Neela aunty or Ali would have seen her they would have dug a grave for dwm. Already he knew that today was her birthday but no idea that she would receive such a great gift.
Ultimately she was still sobbing and he took her by support to reach in the car, while she was just so quiet that nothing was normal. He wanted to infuriate her, taunt her and do anything but get a response.
Neil-you know what you are just careless, there kids are waiting for you to gift you things and here you were sitting and crying.
No response.
I had always said you to keep this emotions outside and see you are not ready to understand that.
Have you ever thought that Mowgli might have some irritation or reaction to the medicines prescribed?
You know what I should call Neela aunty and get her stretch your ear.
You .....
And that's it he knew that she was not in the state to react or would say anything. His courage was diminishing after every effort of his.
Finally he reached home of hers and took her up. Karan who was there was pacing in the balcony to get a glimpse of her. Just as he got the glimpse of her and was about to go towards her , she entered the room no one used ,even her but entered there and locking it down.
Karan-Avni you cannot lock yourself (warning tone) open it ,!! Don't force me to break that. I know whatever happened was wrong but you are strong, you have to be one.
Open the door.
Neil kept a hand on his shoulder and blinked eyes to confirm that she will be fine. They both entered the balcony, where there were bean bags. Both sat there. One was in chaos while other was just shaken up.
Neil-(in nothing particular) she knows that she has to survive, don't worry just she needs to collect herself.
Karan-what had happened? I know this is something really bad then usual. (Getting up) today that dwm has no one to save her from me.
Neil grabbed his hand and made him sit down.
Neil- do you think that would help?
Karan- ( in anger) it may not but I am done with her, what she had with Avni was in her childhood which she suffered. Now this is not at all worth as I have seen her working, joining her peices and standing here . I won't let her break Avni like this. You know what that means when she is in that room ?
Neil just looked at him.
Karan-never in last 4 years she had entered that room, last when she entered she was unconscious for 2 days in that room and Neela aunty had to open that through a key maker?
That time as a doctor you know being unconscious for more than 24 hours would have resulted?
I know that she is strong but not enough to enter that world who is just a line across this area.
She maybe strong for us all but her main demons are always there (pointing at the door)
Avni open the door! You know right I won't let you be there , open or else I will break it then don't complain about damage and all.
No response.
Whereas on the other end.
It was a room full of pictures , some new some old . Every picture was either of her family or dadaji. The main area that was there was them. Those people whom she saw being dead. Reason she still doesn't know.
Was she wrong that she looked at every single human being like one told by her dadaji? Or in general taught to us in the name of value education?
Was she wrong that she tried to question back or stood against the unjust view point of her own family? Was she wrong when she tried to expect some support from her own blood giver parents?
Was she wrong.......??
This was the question she asks everytime when things turn bad as she is still not yet answered. Her whole life seems to be a waste , filth and undesirable. If not for that one promise , god can vouch that she would be with her gaurding angel by now.
This room was not doing anything but just making it worst. Her childhood photos, where one looks with a gentle smile is like a glass shred for her. Why in all the world was she given such a great journey?
Those people still torment her every night. Her will to stay strong is everyday taking it's last breath. It is as if she is drowning herself, inch by inch waiting to reach in middle of ocean named destiny where for the final she would take her last breath without any pain or guilt.
All those being too much for her mind she just screamed out and broke up again. Taking those photos in the hand she just looked at her failed fate. She couldn't even ask why.
She was now completely broken .No one would have saved her either as she was burning in her own misery. No one could have saved her , the one who would have are the one causing trouble.
She just cried until no tears now. She was just looking at those photos but long lost was the shine and brightness of dr.avni who joined the hospital to save people, where she was finding a family of her own, where she was happy , chirpy and good to go. Never was the question of getting this Avni back.
On the other side.
When Karan and Neil heard her cry got more tensed. To top was Ali calling karan again and again. Karan had to tackle him really bad as he knew that he is having doubt on him.
Neil was really restless as well inspite of his ever calm frame. This girl tho is seriously something else . He had never thought of the girl who was ready to fight him, who loves to binge on junk food inspite of doctor, will be kid with a kid, daughter with the oldies and many more will be this broken.
He went towards the door to call her and yet no response from her. Long was the cry stopped from inside and she was not even making any noise.
For karan it was no different, although he went to balcony for answering Ali but once the call ended he sat on the swing with slouchy shoulders remembering meeting her.
How mad was he that day. He met her at one of the parties. As usual he was a party boy involved into all bad things. Had his family known his this side by now he would be gone out of house with no shelter as well. That was when he was given a dare to kiss her. He as usual by his rowdy swag went to her and was trying to kiss when she went ahead and kissed his cheeks instead . Typically taking out the band from her hand and tying on his wrist.
Thank you Bhai!! It was really nice next year also same place haa!
That was when he realised that some random girl had tied rakhi to him instead of being clingy and also insulted him infront of his friends. Obviously that bruised his ego and he started to follow her everywhere stating that I am her brother so why not protect her.
Just to annoy her but she never got one time also. When processed things and one fine day when she was about to complete her college and ready to head back home. As usual she just smiled and headed back while I was following. She was in her scooty when she saw the commotion on the road.
She stopped by the side and looked what's going on. She saw that a women was being molested infront of everyone and no one stepping to stop that.
While I was behind so the crowd was just obstructing the view. She was the only one who stepped and saved that lady. She covered her and looked at the person and what she did was beating that person black and blue.
People as if they woke up from their sleep started to take her side and beat that people. That was when karan saw the women who was none other than his mom. He quickly rushed to her and took her in embrace. She was shivering and was in shock.
What shocked me more was the people who did this to my mom were none other than my friends.
Avni just saw me for the first time with anger. She just calmed my mom and went away giving me a stare. That just made something in me shake. I was unable to process that even when I was following her this time there was no smile on her face. She was just as if ignoring me. And for the fact, I was not finding it good. I was restless.
This time what happened with my mom , I knew that these people would chase her down too so I wanted to make it a point to protect. That was when they really attacked her and she escaped from them but what she did was came and slap me.
I was happy that she did that but when I saw her it made hate myself that today cause of me she is in this state.
But then slowly and steadily she became the rock of my life and today she knows that I am her brother if not by blood than by soul .
And her breakdown like this was really worse 4 years back at that time they told me her story. I knew she was missing her family . He rushed back towards the door.
Karan- we need to enter in soon. I think Neela aunty had kept the key somewhere to enter this room. We will need to search that .
They both went to check the drawers and other things.
While with Avni she just got up and landed towards her family pictures.
I was your blood only na? Ya I was an orphan? Even if I was one is this the way you would have behaved?
Hetal kaki you to used to name me as doll na ? Then why for once did you not called me? You knew na all the time that Riya and Aman are with me?
I miss you, I too was your daughter right? Was it so easy to stay away?
Ketan kaka you were my partner in crime na? My bestest buddy ever. Your champ right! You too let me get off the house?
This parents of mine were never the one whom I looked up to but you?
I just want an answer. I deserve that right? Please give me answers. I just want to ask why? Of all just one thing that is why?
I am struggling to get this since years now. Please speak now. Enough of this silence.
She just turned from them and there was her angel.
You knew all this right? Always said that you have to stay strong. I did that but can you get me some answers I will promise to never demand anything. This is making me insane. You also promised to be with me na? Why you went?
She just had a glance at the pictures of those kids.
You all too why are you all quiet?
Karan and Neil just entered while Avni was back facing them.
You too had issues right? Ammi said no, maa said stay away? Now why are you all quiet haa? Speak up, blame me , tell me , yell at me . Make me remember that I was wrong with the act of that day.
You all keep on showing up time and again to seek my help in saving you right? Then why are you all quiet?.
Speak up!!(grabbing her hairs) just don't stay quiet. You all know that how hard it is for me. Everyday is a new death. That white coat which I am wearing on your words(looking at dadaji) is now questioning to my existence. You please now speak up.
(Raising her voice) will anyone from you all speak up and ease me out for once. It is really suffocating for me.
Karan who was shocked at first now went near her and kept the hand on her shoulder.
She looked at karan and took him towards them.
You are my closest circle and friend na . Can you please ask them just one simple question. They are not entertaining me so can you please ask them.
Start with them... My friends. Can you ask them why did they thought to not fight back elders and let them continue with riots and hatred. Can you get that answer for me?
Leave that ask him. (Dadaji) He had promised me lifetime. Why he broke that? Ask him to speak na? You tell me that you can do anything I ask then please get me this answer and my entire existence would be at your service.
Okay fine if not them ask them. Neither was I an orphan nor an outsider than why did my own parents and all these stood quiet when I was asked to leave?
Why did no one ever contacted me back. Was I that wrong that they just did not even looked at me for once .
Why did they do that? This hetal kaki and kaka knew right I was right then why did they stood quiet?
Can you get me these answers please. I promise no more tears and no more of dwm . Just once I get this answer and I am done. Can you get me those?
Karan was silently looking at her
Now why the hell are you quiet? You can get me answers na? Please get me answers, I will turn mad. They are not releasing me nor can I but you to can help na ? Please help.
Karan-( taking her in a tight hug) I will get you answers Avni now just stay quiet and let's get out of here.
Avni- no!! You are not understanding they are here, I want answers. If I get out they won't answer and then same old thing.
I want answers.
Neil came in now and grabbed her .
Neil- you will get everything now just move out.
With tears
No I won't they would not answer now please let me beg them , I am sure they would
Karan-you are not going back just get out with us. Come.
With lots of efforts she was now quiet probably numb with crying, heavy with the burden and no one tell her now what?
She just sat there looking lost.
Neil went upto her grabbed her.
Stop being this weak , you are not this weak . You have to get out of it. What happened was in past and what will happen will be out your reach why are you hampering your present?
You are not these looser types. You have always walked like a warrior on war ready to fight when not even ready. You cannot be this weak. A mere person and her words cannot make you so weak okay! You are the dr Avni of lifeline hospital. One of the best which we have as for now.
Grab yourself, you were the one who said me right to get up higher above your pain and look at others , now where is that girl?
You need to learn to face them . They are just here to pull you down but you know that you cannot as people out there are looking at you. Waiting for your one smile. Stop all this.
Avni looked at him as if he was somewhere wrong. There was conflict in her eyes but she was quiet. She was just lost, too numb for taking that words.
Avni-( in a trance) can't a doctor fall ill sir?
Neil looked at her confused
Avni-I can be ill too right . I am a human right? I can stay away too .
With that she just got up and left to her room leaving them confused.
They entered inside to see that she was packing her bag. While she was on call with someone.
Once done she immediately dialled to Neela.
Avni- maa I can use my leaves right? I want to go to somewhere for a break.
Please inform Ali too I am going will be back after some days. I promise to call you. I gave my cases to karan,he will look at it.
You please stay assured.
Once done she started pulling the clothes and stuffing them.
Grabbing a handbag she was stuffing things.
Karan-where are you going? Like this ! I will come too.
Avni-no you won't and I am just going out somewhere for sometime. Just stay assured I won't break my promise as I will never do anything wrong.
Let me know if anything serious. Okay now go and have rest. I will manage.
Karan-yes like running away? You are not a coward. You cannot go like this.
Neil-yes!!
Avni-(calm and stern voice) why can't I ? It is not always needed right that I should stay strong, calm and composed. I too can break, need to set myself loose. I deserve that.
Neil just blinked at karan and he left from the room to hall as he was upset.
While Neil just helped her with the medical kit.
Neil- I know that you are just trying to run away as you are fed up with all these but remember that running won't help even if you are going this time come fully prepared to charge back as you don't seem good like this bheegi bili come back as wild cat this time.
Avni just took the kit and kept in the bag.
Once done both came out and Karan was just quiet so he left to get the car and Neil took her bags while she just locked this home cum house of hers .