Not Your Date
Ilang araw silang hindi nagkausap. Nalaman niya na lang pinasa na pala nito ang kanyang term paper. Nakonsensya si Lila. Alam niyang may mali din siya. Kaya't minabuti niyang puntahan ito sa kanila.
"I'm sorry," bungad niya habang humihikbi. Naramdaman niya ang hawak nito sa kanyang pisngi.
“It’s okay, babe. Ang makita kang nandito— sapat na.” Namungay ang mga mata nito. His eyes landed on her lips and before she can say anything, he planted a kiss on her.
“I’m sorry,” bulong niya ulit.
“Tayo na ulit ha?” Agad siyang tumango. They will be better, that’s what she said to herself. She needed to understand him more. Ngayon pang mas kailangan siya nito.
So she held on and trusted him. Again.
“Ayaw mo ba?” bulong nito habang hinahalikan ang kanyang leeg. Nakikiliti siya sa ginagawa ng lalaki. Ngunit di niya mapigilan ang hiyang nararamdaman.
“O-okay lang...” she murmured. He started undressing her. She let him lead. Nag-iinit ang pakiramdam niya. He pulled his pants off and she saw his manhood. Bigla siyang pinamulahan.
“T-teka lang, Jace. Masakit,” daing niya.
“Gan’on talaga, babe. Sa una lang ‘yan.” He kissed her again and slid himself. Halos maiyak siya sa nararamdamang sakit. He keep moving his pelvis faster and faster. He held her waist in place. Lila closed her eyes and endured the sensation. Sa una lang ‘to, she thought.
He groaned after and buried his face on her neck.
“Ako pala ang una mo.”
“O-oo naman.”
“Ang swerte ko sa’yo.” He kissed her cheek.
“I love you, babe.” Napangiti siya habang nakapikit ang mga mata.
“I love you too.”
Those words sounded so familiar yet so foreign to her.
“Anong ginagawa mo?” Nahihiya niyang usal nang sinimulan siya nitong halikan kung saan-saan. Nasa loob sila ng sasakyan niya. Heavy-tinted naman ngunit di niya pa ring mapigilang kabahan.
“Nanglalambing lang eh. Sungit mo naman. Meron ka ba?” dinig niya ang inis sa boses nito.
“Sorry.” She arched her neck to give him more access.
“ 'Yan gusto ko sa’yo eh.” He grinned and slid his hand inside her uniform.
“Teka hindi ka ba gagamit n’on?” Alarma niyang tanong.
“Alin? Condom?” His face flustered and impatient.
“Oo. For protection.”
Umiling ito saka tinawanan siya.
“Ilalabas ko naman agad. Hindi ako gan’on ka bobo, babe.” Hinalikan siya ulit nito at nagpatuloy sa ginagawa. Lila was afraid. Hindi pa siya handa sa ganoong sitwasyon. But she can't say no to him.
“S-sige...” Napaigtad siya nang maramdaman ko ang kanya.
“J-Jace...”
“Lila, ang sarap mo. Shit.” He groaned.
Madali lang itong natapos. Kaagad siyang nagbihis.
“Bakit gan’on? Masakit pa rin?” bulong niya.
“Ewan ko sa katawan mo,” ika nito habang binubutones ang polo.
“Sa ex ko naman— sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya.”
Siya ba ang may mali?
“Hindi, okay lang. Baka marami lang akong iniisip. Subukan na lang natin ulit sa susunod.” Nanlulumo niyang sagot.
“Huwag mo nang i-stressed ang sarili mo.” He kissed her and she nodded. Baka stressed nga lang siya.
Or so she thought.
He made it that way.
Papahiga na si Lila. Dahil walang iisiping assignment o quiz bukas, malaya siyang makakatulog nang maaga. But her phone suddenly vibrated. Hindi niya pala na-off ang data.
@thewancairo: I secretly recorded your voice.
Lila sighed and typed a message.
@lilacj: liar
@thewancairo: Edi huwag kang maniwala. Send ko ‘to sa isang producer. Pag sumikat ka huwag mo kong kalimutan.
Napasandal siya sa higaan. Hindi pa rin naniniwala sa pinagsasabi nito. How did he even have the time to record it?
@lilacj: Kapag ‘yan narinig ng iba, ipapabarang kita.
@thewancairo: gayumahin kita
@lilacj: ipapatawas kita
@thewancairo: what’s tawas?
@lilacj: sa kili-kili
@thewancairo: hahahhahaha ewan mo sa’yo
Napatigil siya sa pagtipa. Ayan na naman ito.
@lilacj: ???
@thewancairo: *ko
@lilacj: k
@thewancairo: lmnop
Mukhang ito-troll lang siya ng lalaki. Napatingin siya sa oras.
@lilacj: tulog na ko bye
@thewancairo: no let’s fix this baby
Napapikit siya sa nabasa. Baliw talaga, she thought.
@lilacj: gago ka b??
@thewancairo: im gettng hard babe
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. He's crazy! Ano bang iniisip nito?
@lilacj: wtf?? Ibablock na kita!
@thewancairo: shit that wans’t me it’s my cousin gab i swear mapapatay ko talaga to
Binitawan niya ang cellphone. Pinatay ang data. Nagsasayang lang talaga siya ng load sa lalaking 'to. She tried to close her eyes but she can't sleep. She started counting sheeps, cows, dogs, cats at iba't ibang domesticated animals. Ngunit sa huli kinuha niya rin ang phone at muli itong binuksan.
@thewancairo: I’m so sorry, Lila. Huwag kang magalit please.
@lilacj: …
@thewancairo: Ano yan? You accept the apology?
@thewancairo: Lila, believe me. Tulog ka na talaga? Good night.
@lilacj: Okay na
@thewancairo: Pinakaba mo ko. Btw, I was wondering...
@thewancairo: If you have a date this Gustavian Night...
Is he going to ask her out?
@lilacj: Wala
@thewancairo: Good, wala rin ako.
Iyon ang huli nitong sinabi. Hindi niya alam ang isasagot kaya hinayaan niya na lang. Who cares if doesn't have one? Gusto ba nitong siya ang mag-aya? She's only going there because Shane wanted to and she somehow doesn't want to missed this out.
Kinabukasan ng hapon, pinuntahan niya si Shane sa kanila. Doon daw kasi sila mag-aayos. Wala naman siyang dapat ayusin. Maglalagay na lang siya ng lipstick. Hindi rin naman makapagreklamo si Shane dahil may iilan din itong kasama, mga classmates nito sa psych.
“What? Hindi ka inaya?” Napasigaw ito, hindi makapaniwala.
Ngayon niya palang nasabi nang nasa Gustavio na sila. Mukhang underdressed yata siya ngayon nang pasadahan niya ng tingin ang mga tao. All out ang mga damit at accessories. Hindi naman lahat naka-dress ngunit kapansin-pansin pa rin ang mga kasuotan nila na tila nasa runway show ang mga ito.
“Bakit niya naman ako aayain?”
Shane snorted. “Gago no’n ah. Tinulungan ko na nga. Binulilyaso pa.”
“Tayo na lang kasi ang date.” She laughed.
“Lila, di tayo talo.”
“Ang sama mo.” Sumimangot siya.
“Payag ka third wheel ka sa’min ni Patrick?”
Date pala ang dalawa. Di nagtagal ay dumating din naman si Patrick. Sumama siya sa dalawa. Ayos lang naman ito sa kanila. Nagsisisi na tuloy siya. Naisip niya na lang na umuwi nang maaga. Itutulog niya na lang ito nang makabawi naman siya sa pagpupuyat nitong mga nakaraang quizzes.
Ang Gustavian Night ang pinakamagarbong event sa buong Gustavian Week. Shoulder ng university ang lahat. May live band sa labas, may foam party, may formal dance sa loob at libre ang pagkain sa plaza.
This is to celebrate the love of Gustavio to Emilia Alvear. There was a myth going on for years around the campus. It was said that Gustavio fell in love so hard with Emilia whose hand was already taken by someone wealthy. Gustavio was poor and he worked hard to build his empire just to be worth of Emilia's love. They eloped to this very place at the center of the university and Gustavio professed his love for Emilia under the shower of shooting stars.
It is said that once a couple promised their love under the shower of shooting stars, their love would be eternal and boundless. Of course, no one knows the truth. May iilang nagsabi na hindi raw iyon tottoo at gawa-gawa lang ng isang professor para maging mabango ang pangalan ng GAU at mahikayat ang iba na mag-aral dito dahil sa hiwaga kuno.
Lila doesn't believe such. Loving someone doesn't involve grand profession of love. It's the thing that they do in between. The truth after the 'I love you's' and the 'I promise you'. Words mean nothing. Empty promises are useless. Love? She doesn't even know how does it truly feel. Someone robbed her off of that.
“Hindi ka naman pala magiging third wheel eh.” Shane nudged her.
Agad na umalis si Shane at Patrick para magsayaw. Napatingin siya kay Ewan. He's just wearing his casual clothes. Nothing fancy or attention-grabbing accessories. Parang napadaan lang ito. But Lila couldn't take off her gaze at him when he flashed his smile.
Lumapit ito sa kanya.
“Can I not be your date?” he asked.
She bit her lip suppressing a smile.
“Sira ka talaga.”
He chuckled.
“I figured, you’d be pressured if I’d ask you to. So this is not a date. You are just you and I am just me. We’re just students in Gustavio.”
Napangiti si Lila sa sinabi nito. He's really thinking about what she would like. He respects her boundaries. He doesn't really impose anything but... there's always the 'but'.
Sa di kalayuan ay dinig na nila ang putukan ng fireworks. It's started. Instead of shooting stars, the university opted with fireworks. Nasa loob sila. Makakahabol pa sila sa display but they didn't bother. Only the two of them and some other people stayed inside.
He looked at her and smiled. “Sa kanila na ‘yong Gustavian myth na ‘yan.”
Not a date, she thought. It sounded nice, polite and comfortable.
But she feels like everything is just too good to be true.
And it scares her even more.