AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Salaam you amazing people.... the support has been immense... i love you all for reading. It makes me so happy to see how you guys love this book and love the characters 😍😍🥰🥺 tell me who you like most and whyyyyy???? Okay don't air me🥴. Anyways thank youu so much and I hope all of you are okay and so are your loved ones xx .... feel free to comment or message me. I read everything okay bye let's get to the reading .
AQSA's POV
I'm thinking maybe I should go pick Ruqqayya and Saffiyya so they sleep over at my place because Youssef will come home late and I don't want to stay alone for so long. So I drive home and find all of them there dressed up as well. They were going out with Asiyah and the kids.
'Come with us Aqsa.' Asiyah suggests.
'I can't Youssef is playing in less than an hour and I have to watch.'
Baba laughs behind me.
' I can't believe Aqsa can't go out because she has to watch a football match.'
'I know right Baba.' Ruqqayya jumps in.
I blush but try to hide it because of Baba. He wouldn't mind either. He has become softer Allahumma barik.
'It's her husband playing so she gets a pass.'
I laugh at Saffiyya's comment.
'Where's mother?' I ask.
'She was praying I think she's done.'
So I let them go out I sit there waiting for mother to finish her salah. She comes out and we talk for a while. I then rush back home to go watch my amazing husband do what he does best.
I'm so nervous. I really want him to win. I take off my abaya and hijab. They needed to go to the laundry. I rush to the bathroom to have a shower and pray my salah it's 10 minutes to kick off. I slide into Youssef's long sleeved jersey, the only times I get to wear them are at home. It's almost knee length. I slide in some comfortable white pants and get my fruit bowl and walk to the living room and switch on the TV.
I hate that I have to watch it alone.
If things were different I'd go at the stadium with Sayeed too. But Youssef is already being publicly bullied. Me? Publicly attacked. It really wasn't the time for me to be out there.
Well it's a great evening here at Derby Athletics' home. The stadium is packed and of course we have the return of the new centre-back. Youssef Amin , who hasn't featured for almost a month and we have seen Derby struggle to get the 3 points. Will it be different today Adam?
Well let us hope so Harry. He has been magnificent in France, we haven't seen him much here. But his manager is behind him telling the fans to support him. I think the fans should get behind him and see what he can deliver. He looks ruthless and I don't believe that there's anything wrong with his commitment so let us see.
Yes Adam. You are correct!!!!!!
The screen displays Youssef. They zoom into his face. Haha I get so excited. It's unreal.
'Yes go babe!' I cheer. Wallahi I'm losing my mind.
I watch the entire 90 minutes and let me say it was an easy win. I was so happy. They won 3-0 my babe didn't concede a goal. His first match back and they have 3 points and a clean sheet too. He is also named man of the match?????? I'm over the mooooooooon.
I text him immediately.
'Yeeeeessss babe. So proud of youuuuu. That was amazing. More of that please.'
I'll have to wait for that reply.
He still has a lot to do.
'We have with us right now, Youssef Amin, with a man of the match performance, what do you say about the game today Youssef?' The reporter asks him post-match.
'A well deserved win. We suffered together for 90 minutes. Covered for each other. I say we deserved it.' A sweaty breathless Youssef speaks.
'Your return after almost a month and a clean-sheet. How does that make you feel?'
' Amazing. As a defender getting clean sheets is the highlight of your game. I'm absolutely happy.'
'Can we expect you to feature consistently now? Because we saw how you can make an impact today. The defense line was perfect.'
'Of course, I am committed to this team. I am happy to be here. Somethings happen that make it difficult to appear but my commitment is 100%.'
'Thank you so much Youssef. Congratulations for tonight. Lovely to have you here and we wish to see you every week.'
'Thank you.'
They hand him a man of the match prize. He's definitely walking back to the dressing room to go celebrate with his mates. Shower, pray Salah and then maybe go out with his mates. Me? It's almost midnight, I should go sleep. I'm not staying up as much as I'd love to hug him when he comes home.
My thoughts are interrupted by a beep on my phone.
Youssef.
'Alhamdulillah, Thank you my love. You know I could never do it without you.'
I smile. I don't deserve the credit at all.
'Up for a late night date?'
I'm so exhausted.
'Shouldn't you be going to celebrate this with the boys?'
'I want to celebrate this with you.'
I blush. How do I break his heart and tell him that I need to sleep. I bury my face in the pillow.
I'm not going out right now.
'Come home then.' I text With an emoji. Okay that didn't sound too dry and it isn't a plain no. So yeah he'll come home and we'll celebrate at home and sleep. We'll go celebrate tomorrow. Youssef will throw me out the window when he gets home and finds me in my sleeping clothes. Or maybe he won't mind because they are cute. Lol.
After over an hour I hear the bedroom door open. The lights are switched on too. I was sleeping inside the blanket.
'Aqsa Ally Ahmed. What?'
I smile.
He really thought we were going out right now.
'Aren't we supposed to be going out?' He says. He is annoyed but I know he's in a good mood so it can turn into a smile anytime. He's dressed so well MashAllah hahaha and here I am in my night wear. I get out of the blanket and jump on him laughing.
'Congratulations.' I say forcefully hugging him.
'No Aqsa, we are supposed to be going out.' He says laughing.
'No babe. We are not.'
He laughs and says, 'I should have known, that was so easy.'
'You look cute still.' He says smirking.
'You think.' I smile at him.
'Yep.' He says excitedly.
*****
It's almost noon when we finally get out of bed. We went to sleep after fajr and just didn't want to get out of bed. Phones were blowing up but no we are not entertaining people today. Youssef wants an ice bath so he's ordering buckets of ice because of his recovering. His body is sore after an entire week of extreme work out.
He's out on the back yard and I'm watching him wait for the ice. The ice guy comes in and I run from the balcony because I was not in my hijab. Youssef comes up with the ice and fills the bathtub.
'You are filling our room with water... there's water everywhere now. You should really be doing this in the pool.'
He doesn't want to. He says the bathtub is more relaxing.
He gets into the bathtub and I'm just shaking my head watching him.
Youssef pulls me threatening to put me inside it. I let out a scream.
'Oh Youssef I will kill you , don't you dare.'
He laughs.
'You should buy a human fridge. That way I get to use my bathtub without this mess.'
'I actually plan on getting one.'
'Are you serious??' I laugh. I was just joking.
'I'm so serious.'
He's actually going to get a cryotherapy chamber. I don't want to witness this. It's giving me morgue vibes.
'You'll want it.'
'Kill me first.'
He laughs.
'I'll go make us brunch.' I tell him then leave.
Since someone eats like a whale I have to make breakfast for 6 people. You really can't blame him that's how much his body demands after putting out a lot of work all week.
I feel Youssef towering over me. I turn to look at him.
'You can go have a shower, I'll set this up.'
He offers.
'I don't even want to see that bathroom. Did you get rid of your iced water?'
Youssef laughs.
'Woman I did.'
'If you didn't and my bathroom is still a mess Youssef Amin you will buy that fridge today.'
'Now you want it?'
'Well I'm tired of water pools in my bathroom. Two times a week.'
'Now it's your bathroom? At this rate I'll start paying rent next week.' He smirks.
'With what you put me through you should.' I push him and run out the kitchen.
'I'll get back at you.' He laughs.
Alhamdulillah the bathroom is dry. I get in to have a shower. I'll have a bath later with my salts when Youssef is out so I can take as long as I want.
We have our brunch and then Youssef goes out for Salah. I pray mine at home.
Youssef comes back and we are lazily sitting on the couch when my phone starts ringing. It's Asiyah.
'Aqsa, Aaminah is crying she wants to see you.'
That actually melts my heart.
'Bring them over what you waiting for.'
At least our house will be noisy in a short while. I'm not even prepared. They actually drop off all the kids. Zayn's, Asiyah's, Sayeed's and Fatma's Amal.
Everyone is jumping everywhere. Kids are laughing. This one hit this one. This one is crying. This is more than what I signed up for. And they all left them here.
Youssef is helping me Alhamdulillah he loves kids we all know that. So this wasn't so bad. I find myself watching him as he throws Amal, Aaminah, Bushra, Aysha and Hind into the air and catches them one after the other. My heart aches wishing he'd be playing with ours right now. I wanted to be pregnant again. I hope I was right now.
Hamad comes pulling me. ''Ammah Aqsa can you tell 'Am Youssef to leave the girls and play football with us?'
I laugh. Hamad was 9. He was so naughty. He was always bullying the girls. He wasn't liking how much they were enjoying. Hamad was Zayn's son and Hind was Zayn's daughter. Zayn also had sons called Zayd and Khalid. All of them waiting for Youssef to play football with them.
'Can they just go play with dolls?' I laugh.
'Hamad, why don't you go and tell him, he'd love to...'
'I'm scared.'
'I'll tell the girls that you said that....'
'Noooooo 'ammah Aqsa okay I'll go.'
I tell Youssef that I'll just have the girls swim with me. While they play football. They are a lot to deal with but Alhamdulillah the water was just very shallow.
We have an amazing day with the kids Alhamdulillah. They have a good time too and when it's maghrib they are just falling asleep everywhere. Youssef helps me putting them on bed and the couch.
I'm drained myself but so happy Alhamdulillah. I just tell them to let them sleep over since they are already sleeping. I didn't know what I was signing up for. I had babies crying at night and me and Youssef were literally on the couch cuddling babies to sleep. It was exhausting but fulfilling. When we tried to catch some sleep another one woke up. 10 kids were no joke.
Funny how I really wanted a big family too right now.
'Youssef do you want 10 kids? I mean this is not so bad right?' I joke.
'You know I want my football team. I want 11.'
I laugh.
'Are you joking? You are joking right?'
'No my love, I actually want you to give me 11 babies.'
I throw a pillow at him.
We fall asleep and the next thing we know it's fajr.
I look dead. I go take a shower. Youssef does too then heads to the mosque. After fajr we try to sleep but then you hear someone giggling on your head the other one pulling your hair. The other one slapping your face. It was 8am don't these kids rest?
'Khala Aqsa, I'm hungry...'
'Ammah Aqsa I want cereal.'
'Can I get chocolate?'
'Pancakes!!!'
I get out of bed defeated. So I'm just realizing my house was really not kids friendly because we have no cereal.
I tell Youssef to go get some for the kids while I go make some pancakes.
The older girls take some time to wake up and they wake up while others are having breakfast already. Mine and Youssef's breakfast was going to wait because we are not having cereal and pancakes today.
Alhamdulillah after everyone was done. Everyone had to go shower and get dressed. I helped most of them and after a short while with a lot of repetition of the same instructions we were done and they were on the TV. Youssef was watching them as I prepared breakfast for us.
Before lunch they all left and the house was back to being so silent. It was painfully silent.
I start thinking if this was going to be our life forever? A quiet home? No kids?
I get sad all over again. I try to hide my tears. I don't want to have this conversation because I know I shouldn't be thinking like this. I know. I rush into our bathroom and I cry inside there. I pull a pregnancy test that I had and took the test.
Why was I doing this to myself?
Not pregnant.
Tears leave my eyes. I desperately wanted a baby.
'Aqsa?' I hear Youssef calling. I clear up my face.
'Yes...' I shout not willing to go outside to where he is sitting. He would notice something was wrong the minute he saw my eyes. I hope my voice didn't sound too shaky.
'Come see...'
'I'm going to sleep Youssef. I'm exhausted.' I get in bed and try to fall asleep. Youssef comes in and joins me. Waking me up , actually he pulls me to his side as if I weighed nothing.
'We all deserve this sleep.'
'Mhmmm...' I nod. Not opening my eyes.
*****
I put my abaya on. Youssef insisted we go out. That I owe him a date from friday. I also need to go out and get into a good mood. I actually felt the need to dress up because I needed to light up my mood. Dilemma. I wish it was dinner inside our house so I could dress up however , since we are going out I just kept it simple and walked out with Youssef.
I didn't know where he was taking me.
So he takes me to the rooftop of a building. We could see the whole city from up here. The stars and the moon. It was beautiful and it was just us and the lights and the red roses and the people attending us.
'Is this even a restaurant?' I ask. There was no other table in place.
'Yes but it's on the 20th floor. This rooftop was an exclusive one.'
I smile at his gesture.
'Thank you babe.' I hug him.
We order our food. The food was not the best but we laughed about it. It wasn't spicy it was boring. But we had a good time. So we enjoyed regardless.
After dinner we drove to the beach. We watched the waves from the car. The fresh air rubbing our faces. Oh how I love this. Youssef pinches my nose.
'Youssef. The moment was so perfect you had to.'
'Sorry.'
We stay in the car talking and enjoy the waves. After almost an hour we drive back home. Ready for work tomorrow.
****
Saffiyya calls me.
'Aqsa can you talk?' She asks me.
'Yeah...' I say walking away so I could talk to her with privacy.
'okay this is so funny but Youssef's teammate is in my dms.'
'What? Who is he?' I ask surprised.
'Don't tell Youssef. Please just shut up about it I don't want trouble.'
'Who is he?'
'Noah Adams. Don't tell Youssef first. I just want to know how he is.'
Is she out of her mind? He didn't just slide into her inbox right now. I can sense it. She's been talking to whoever this boy was.
'Aqsa don't tell him.'
Well I know telling Youssef would lead to him walking up on whoever this guy was and confronting him. Lord forbid he's older because Youssef would fight him.
'How old is he? I don't know him.'
'20. We actually went to school together in Primary.' Oh. But still.
'Saffiyya.'
'Aqsa. There's nothing going on I'm just telling you because I want you to ask Youssef about him. He claims he's serious about me.'
'You shouldn't be talking to him.'
'I know I just want to know what he's on about.'
'He wants to get you off your deen what else.'
'I'll talk to you later.'
'Don't tell. Just ask.'
I end the call.
I google him because asking Youssef was such a bad idea. There's really nothing much about him. He's like the youngest guys on the team who doesn't feature much. A tall skinny-blue-eyed blonde boy.
Don't I think Saffiyya finished all the websites doing a background check? But what does she think? Where would this go? Her mother? We know her!!!!! Was he even on the deen because that's a must. Otherwise she's really out of her mind.
I text her.
'Do you like him?'
'Yes. I'm surprised he does.'
'Deen?'
'We are talking about that.'
'SAFFIYYA!'
'Aqsa calm down okay. Please don't make me regret opening up to you. Shaking my head. I just want to know if he's serious.'
I actually regret knowing this because if this blows up, mother will come for me first. That I took her into "this world" and Youssef would not believe that I'd cover up for her.
Maybe I should tell Youssef to talk to him.
It's for her own good.
This might lead to Haram.
I walk back and just sit defeated.
' What's up babe?'
'Ahh nothing. It's just Saffiyya.'
He kisses my temple and goes on with his phone.
'Ummm.. Youssef..'
He looks up.
'Yeah?'