Sadie finds it hard to get through the rest of the week. She spends the entire time in bed, emotionally wrecked. Summer called Alice who told my supervisor that I came down with a bug and have been in bed sick all week. It's not entirely a lie.
It physically hurts to move. Sometimes the emotional pain hurts worse than the physical.
She spends the next couple of weeks avoiding Ben. He calls and text, but Sadie can't find the energy to respond. She cant let go of the feeling that he used her. She switches shifts with co-workers so she doesn't have o see Ben. She hears from other coworkers that he is worse than before. He has grown a beard and looks like he has not slept at all.
As Thanksgiving approaches, Sadie decides to switch shifts with a co-worker so they can spend Thanksgiving with their little kids. Gunnar will be at Victoria's and Sadie didn't want to be alone. As she walks into work and gets settled for the evening, in walks Ben. They were no lying, he does look rough. Still handsome but definitely rough. Sadie knows she is looking a bit rough too. She can barely eat and if she is not at work she is home with either Gunnar or Summer.
Tonight she is alone in dispatch and seeing Ben only makes her regret the decision.
"Good Evening Sargent Olsen," She says timidly.
He just hands her the sector sheet and walks right back out. She wants to cry but she can't, not at work.
The night goes on pretty slow and she is in the middle of reading her book when she gets a message on the internal message system.
"Did you eat Thanksgiving dinner?" Ben messages.
"Gunnar and I shared nachos before work." She replies. "Victoria and her family are doing the traditional dinner, he is here now.
"Wonder if they have cranberry sauce?" Ben messages.
"Curious question," Sadie says.
"Think about it, no one really eats it, but everyone has to have it." He says.
Sadie laughs at this curious question and comments. She hasn't laughed since before the night of the fire. She forgets how good it feels, and immediately after is reminded of that night and how everything literally burned up.
"Accurate statement that is..." She responds.
She gets a call from Gunnar saying he and Victoria are outside to drop off a Thanksgiving platter for everyone. Sadie is proud that he has found someone who can handle him, his schedule, and more so no be offended at how close they are. As she speaks to Gunnar the message dings but Sadie meets up with Gunnar, Victoria, and her parents. They bring the mass amount of food for her and the deputies as a thank you for the work hey did on the accident. They sit and talk a bit before they all leave for a movie.
Sadie waves to them as they leave and sends a mass message to all the duties giving them the heads up of food in the kitchen. When she looks at the message from Ben, her heart clenches in pain.
"I miss you," he states.
She can't respond. She misses him, all of him.
The next hour she finds all four deputies on shift have made their way to the office and are piling a plate of food. They all walk into dispatch and take a seat at a back table and start talking about everything. Sadie sits there in silence just listening to the guys talk. Sadie can feel Ben's eyes on her and when she looks over at him she can't tell what he is thinking.
"Did you get a plate of food? Would you like me to grab one for you?" Ben asks, breaking the silence.
"No thank you, I'll get some in a little while," Sadie says.
Ben nods his head and looks down. Sadie notices he doesn't have a plate either.
"Did you get a plate?" Sadie asks.
"I will in a little while. These hungry monsters need all the food really," He says.
"I get it, feed the kids first," Sadie says trying to laugh.
"Exactly," Ben says smiling.
Sadie stares at his smile and it continues to kill her inside. She wants nothing more than him to hold her.
Ben stares back and thinks how awful the past two weeks have been. He hasn't seen or heard her voice. He's made it a point to talk to Summer and she has assured him to:
1: Kick his ass when she sees him, why, still no sure but he will take it.
2: Give her some time.
Summer told Ben everything that happened and he is disgusted that he married a woman like that. That walking STD was trying to take away the love of his life for no other reason than to save her reputation. He stood by her before for the same reason but not again. no anymore.
Sadie is his future, he will wait forever for her.
When he guys finally finish and head back on the road, Ben walks to the kitchen and puts together an overflowing plate of food. He walks to Sadie's computer and sits next to her, handing her a pack of utensils, places the plate of food between them.
"What are you doing?" She asks.
"I know you are not eating as much, neither am I, so we will share this plate." Ben states.
"What makes you think I'd share a plate?" She asks.
"Because Gunnar and Victoria brought the food, and you would never deny them or lie to them about eating it. I am doing this for them." He says.
"I see, Ok," She says.
Ben watches her pick up a fork and start eating. He can't help but feel pride that she is eating, with him, sharing a plate, just like they use to.
"How is Gunnar?" He asks.
"Good, Cast comes off before New Years and Rehab to get ready for baseball season," she responds.
"He's something else for sure." He says.
"How are Hudson and Everet?" Sadie asks.
"Good! Really good. Hudson has been hanging out with Gunnar a bit of learning more about football and baseball. Gunnar is a good influence. Everett is loving photography. She and I did a few classes at the college as you suggested and she has learned a lot." Ben proudly says. "She's actually amazing at it.
"That's amazing to hear! They are such sweet kids!" Sadie said.
"Yeah they are, All three are incredible kids. We are lucky o have them," Ben says.
"We are very lucky," Sadie says looking down and smiling.
Ben decides to try and talk to Sadie further about what happened. "Sadie about that night..." He tries.
"Ben, please don't. No tonight. Tonight lets just have this." she softly begs.
"Okay," he concedes.
They continue to talk most of the night, about almost everything except Brittany and especially about them. The light conversation has Ben feeling like he's floating on a cloud. He's missed her so much. All he wants to do is reach over and rub his hand along her cheek. But he doesn't, he is allowing her space.
"No, you did not!" Sadie says laughing. "you chased after chicken legs thinking you could catch him? He ran track in high school!"
"I did! I work out so I figured I could catch him. Wha I did no expect was for him to climb that tree so fast." Ben Continues. "Then he started to make bird noises at Johnson and me. We were looking all around trying to find him, Hard to do in the dark."
"I can't even imagine! What happened next," Sadie says laughing hard.
"He fell out of the tree! We called for rescue and they took him to the ER. He was fine, but arrested finally." Ben says laughing.
"Oh my god, man I am glad we finally caught him. Who gave him the name chicken legs?" She says.
"You lie!" Sadie says laughing.
"Baby, I never lie," Ben says. It came out so naturally and he didn't even mean to say it. Baby. He sees her eyes and before anything else is said he jumps up from his seat.
"Um...Well...I better get on the road. It was great talking to you, I'll catch up with you later." He quickly says and leaves the office as fas as he can. Cursing himself for crossing the line. When he gets into his vehicle he is hit with the realization of how amazing it was to talk to her again. He will get her back, somehow, someday. She is his and he will always be hers.
To do this he needs to make it good with Gunnar so he decides to give him a call.
"Hello," Gunnar says.
"Gunnar, It's Ben, please don't hang up," Ben begs.
"What do you need, Is my mom ok? I know you are guys are working together tonight," Gunnar says worriedly.
"Yeah, she's good. She ate some of the food you guys brought in, it was really good. Thank Victoria and her family for bringing it in. Meant a lot to the department." Ben says.
"My mom actually ate the food?" Gunnar asks.
"Yeah, I made sure she ate. We shared a plate but she ate most of it." Ben hopefully states.
Gunnar sighs over the phone. "Ok, I am listening. What do you want?" He asks.
"Can we meet for breakfast at the diner. Just you and I and let me explain everything. I love your mother with every piece of me and I will win her back. I can't do this if you and I are not good. You are too important to both of us." Ben says.
Gunnar takes a moment before he answers. "Ok, 7 am, at the diner."
"Thank you! I promise to explain everything!" Ben says as he is throwing his hands up in the air in relief.
"Hey, Ben, thanks for getting my mom to eat," Gunnar says.
"Anything for you guys," Ben says.
Every second that goes by is one step closer for Ben. One step closer to winning her back.