For the first time in awhile, he smiled. He truly, truly smiled. It was genuine and pure. It was... love. He was in love.
He never thought he'd be saying this, but Ricky Underwood was totally and completely in love with Amy Juergens. Remembering that Amy was mad at him, he frowned, because they were over and he didn't know if they could fix it. He hoped they could and surely wanted them to, but saying is different than doing.
He paced up and down the room, running his fingers through his hair and smiling. He knew for a fact that he was in love, and he couldn't believe it. He knew this because his palms got sweaty whenever he would go to see Amy, which wasn't normal for Ricky. His head spun and his heart raced when they kissed. When someone even so much as mumbled Amy's name, he lit up.
He even swore he had Amy radar. He could feel it whenever she was close, and when she was mad at him, he couldn't help but smile because she was so cute when she got angry. Her nose wrinkled and her eyes narrowed; she chewed her lip and she crossed her arms.
He never noticed traits like these in other girls. They were simply there for sexual pleasure, which he hadn't had any of in forever. He thought he would crack from going this long but in all honesty, he felt like he could endure it. He got an indescribable amount of satisfaction and pleasure by only kissing Amy.
Oh God, he could just kiss her all day.
While we are on the subject of Amy, he missed her. He felt like she was hours away and he hadn't seen her in years. He felt so distant from her today.
Ricky was turning into a love sick teenager who cared for his son and his lovely girlfriend, who he could now picture as his wife. He pictured waiting at the end of the isle for her while she clutched her dad's arm. He pictured them dancing at the reception, smiling and crying tears of happiness as he whispered to her it would be okay. He would endure the numbness of his fingers because she was breaking them with her death grip as she gave birth to their new born. He imagined sitting in a rocking chair beside her, holding their grandchildren while they held each others hand.
She really did change me, Ricky thought.
But how was he going to fix this? He didn't know. He wanted to change things, and he needed to talk to her. Where was he going to fix his problems and who was the only one who would tell him what he needed to hear?
...Bunny.
He grabbed his sweater and trampled into the butcher shop, his eyes searching the store. "Bunny?"
"Yes?" Bunny's manly voice yelled from behind the counter. She looked up a few seconds later and cocked her head to the side. "Why are you here? Isn't it your day off?"
"Yeah it is. I just need to talk to you."
Worry creased her brow and her hands went up in surrender. "Whatever it is, or whatever you heard, I didn't do it."
Ricky raised an eyebrow. "No, it's not about you. I just need to talk to you for a minute."
"Well if it isn't about me, then it's about you and Amy. You seem depressed and you look like hell. But make it quick, I don't have all day."
Ricky leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. "I love Amy."
Bunny laughed. "I already knew that."
"Huh?"
"You think that you didn't look in love? Ricky, you haven't had a random girl go through here in almost two months. You smile and laugh genuinely and all you talk about is Amy."
Ricky smirked and shrugged. "It was that obvious?"
"More so than you think. I think it took you longer to figure out than it took me to figure out."
Ricky paused for a minute and sighed. "I really screwed up."
"Well, you want her back and want to make things right again, right?" Bunny raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"Then make it right. Talk to her."
"I can't just go to her house, knock on the door, say I'm sorry and then kiss the living hell out of her. As much as I want to do that, I can't because that's not solving our problems."
Bunny scoffed. "What problems!"
"The ones that broke us up." Ricky ran his fingers through his brown locks.
"What exactly did she say?"
"She said she doesn't know where I stand in the relationship and where my feelings are. Also about how I never tell her how I feel and more of that shit. I was upset because she was going on a date with Ben." Ricky became furious all over again.
"Ricky, you were jealous. Though there is nothing to be jealous of because she obviously loves you. Listen, you should send her flowers and then leave a note saying you're sorry and you need to talk or something. Get her to meet you somewhere. It'll be good, whether or not it works out for you. You need to talk to her. Not just for you or for Amy, but also for your son."
Ricky looked up at Bunny and smiled. "Thanks, Bunny." He wrapped his arms around her and she raised an eyebrow. Finally, she returned the gesture and then pushed him off.
"I gotta get back to work. Now go fix things with your woman."
Ricky smirked and ran out to the car.
Today was muggy and hot, and you could tell Summer was right around the corner - which it was. Tomorrow was the last day of school and Amy couldn't wait.
As she sat on the bed beside John, folding their laundry, she hummed soft tunes that were obviously comforting to John. Hearing the sound of his mother's voice made him smile.
She checked her phone and noticed Ben texted her back, saying 'it's alright'. She had told him earlier she wasn't going to coffee with him and she didn't want to talk about it. She knew he was a little upset but she didn't care. She seemed to feel a smidgen of anger towards him, knowing he started this but in reality, it was nowhere near his fault.
As she folded a pair of John's cotton shorts, she heard a faint knock on the door downstairs.
"Amy, there's someone at the door for you," George called from upstairs and then went into the kitchen. Amy raised an eyebrow and scooped John into her arms.
She walked down the stairs and immediately met the gaze of a scrawny, Asian teenage boy. He looked no older than fifteen, and he was holding a large bouquet of flowers and a card. Amy walked over to the door.
"Amy Juergens?" The boy had a deep, manly voice. Amy nodded. "Well, these are for you."
He handed her the large bouquet, which consisted of an array of colorful flowers. There were tiger lilies and purple tulips, red and pink roses, and orange and yellow daisies. Amy blushed and then sniffed them, inhaling their scent.
The boy coughed, taking Amy out of her daze and she signed the order, letting the boy leave.
"Who could these possibly be from?" Amy cooed to John. She walked over to the living room and set him down so she could read the card.
We need to talk...
P.S. I miss you.
R.
Amy bit her lip and brought the flowers to the kitchen to put in a vase of water. As she shuffled through the cupboard to find an appropriate vase, she thought about talking to Ricky.
Did she even want to talk to him right now? She wasn't sure.
She knew the things she said were horrid, and she was embarrassed. She regretted them, but on the other hand, his words hurt and she was glad she got her point across by saying what she did.
Although as much as she wanted to be mad at him right now, she couldn't be. He wasn't the one who accepted to go on a coffee date with his ex, but he did hurt her feelings though and she felt like she wasn't trusted.
A long lasting, healthy relationship needs trust and she wasn't exactly sure they had any between them. Of course to an extent they did, because she wouldn't be with him if she believed he would sleep with any other girl. He wouldn't be with her if he didn't believe she would go back to Ben any chance she got.
Thinking about it, they did trust each other on some level. Of course, there was a small lack of trust, but in the end she knew they could trust each where it really counted.
They both were hurt in the past and they didn't want to go through that again. They both has insecurities and could be jealous, but Amy just gave Ricky an excuse to show his jealousy.
She needed to talk to him. She had to know where they now stood and judging from the card he obviously had something to tell her.
Amy reached in the pocket of her denim shorts and pulled out her cell phone. She looked through her contacts and found Ricky's number.
Hesitating, she brought her hands to the keyboard and texted: When and where?
Her cell phone buzzed almost instantly. The park bench 8:30.
She smiled and typed a fast reply. Oh and Ricky, thanks for the flowers.
Ricky received Amy's reply and smiled widely; she agreed to see him. Racking his brain, he thought over a game plan so he would know what he was going to say and how. He shook his head but continued to look in the mirror.
"Amy, I'm sorry," he rehearsed, looking at his reflection. "I was a stupid jackass for saying those things and I'm a prick for letting you walk out. We should work things out. Why? Because, uh, I fucking love you?" Ricky spoke sarcastically, beginning to get frustrated. He had been at this for a good hour. Either way, he would talk to her; he needed to tell her.
Ricky sighed and walked to the living room. He paced around for awhile, debating on how to start it. He didn't want things to be awkward when they talked, he wanted to get to the point.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ben getting out of his car and walking into the butcher shop. Ricky bit his lip and then rushed downstairs.
"Ben!" Ricky spoke in his direction.
Ben's head snapped towards Ricky and oddly he felt a bit nervous and uneasy. "Hey, Ricky."
"Let's cut to the chase, Ben. Why'd you ask Amy out?"
Ben looked around the room, avoiding eye contact. "I asked her out to coffee as a friend. To catch up."
"The hell you asked her out as a friend."
"I have a girlfriend, Ricky," Ben snapped. "Multiple girls isn't my style."
Ricky laughed. "That's rich! Didn't you do what's her face," Ricky snapped his fingers, "Maria! The same time you were in a relationship with Amy."
Ben scowled. "Why is it you really wanted to talk to me, Ricky? 'Cause I'm sure it wasn't to talk about my mistakes."
"Nope. I wanted to confront you about why you asked out Amy. I know you have Grace, but I know you still like Amy."
Ricky inched closer to Ben, making Ben frown.
"Just as friends."
"Friends my ass, Boykewich. I know you still love her or whatever it is you feel for her. If you don't tell me the truth, help me God I will kick your ass."
"Okay, you know what? Fine. I still feel something for Amy. I only asked her out because I needed to see if it was as strong as what I feel for Grace, okay? I can't move on to the next level with Grace if my heart isn't totally with her."
Ricky backed away. "Stay away from Amy. She's my son's mother and I love her. You have nothing to do with her. Alright?"
With that, he walked away from a wide-eyed Ben and gawking customers.
"Can you please watch John for an hour or so later tonight?" Amy asked her sister.
"What are you doing that's so important?"
Amy frowned. "I'm going to talk to Ricky for a while. We need to sort things out."
Ashley scoffed. "Ricky."
"Ashley?" Amy pleaded.
"Fine. Mom and Dad called earlier. They said they should be home by eight tonight." Ashley continued writing in her notebook.
"Thanks, Ash. Oh and if you ever need to talk, I'm here." Amy spoke before she walked out.
"Same goes for you."
They both smiled.
Amy walked into her bedroom and went through the closet, deciding on an outfit to wear to talk to Ricky. She didn't exactly want to look pretty for him, but she just needed an outfit that didn't have food and baby spit on it.
She decided on a pair of dark washed skinny jeans and a teal tank top. She put on the outfit and through her hair in a ponytail and put John into his pyjamas
After reading for awhile and tidying up her room, she heard the front door open.
"Kids! We're home!"
Amy smiled, grabbed John and ran downstairs. Her dad was standing at the front door with his arms wrapped around Ashley while Anne was standing behind them, holding Robbie and her suitcase.
Amy hugged her mom and when he reached her dad, he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "You okay?"
Amy looked down and nodded. "I'm going to see him tonight. To talk."
George raised an eyebrow. "Even after he hurt you like that?"
"I hurt him too...," Amy confessed.
"Well, I guess it's for the best. If he says anything to you though and if he hurts you again, I will gladly break him." George smiled.
"I know you would, Dad."
After putting away their suitcases, George and Anne called the girls into the living room.
"We have a confession and an announcement to make." George sat down on the couch and held Anne's hand.
Amy and Ashley took a seat and looked at their parents questioningly.
"We weren't actually at Mimzy's this week," Anne confessed.
Amy's eyes went wide and Ashley scoffed. "I figured so."
"How'd you know?" George asked.
"I heard waves and Mom asking if you wanted to go out for a lovely dinner one time you called this week. If you were at Mimzy's, you wouldn't hear waves or going out to dinner," Ashley explained.
"Wait, where were you then?" Amy inquired.
"We were on a vacation get-away. We didn't include you because you had school and your father and I needed time alone. We are so sorry we lied," Anne explained.
Ashley rolled her eyes and Amy huffed. "What's the announcement?"
"Well," Anne and George smiled at each other, "we are getting married this summer!"
Ashley and Amy's jaw dropped. "Wow, that's great," Ashley remarked. She got up and hugged her parents. Amy squealed and got up as well, wrapping her arms around Anne and George.
"Finally, we can be a family again," Amy said.
George smiled. "We always were."
Ben was standing in Grace's room, playing with his thumbs, waiting for Grace to bring up the sodas. He said he needed to talk to her and her offering soda and sitting in her room was making it so much harder.
Finally, she walked in with a wide smile and carrying two sodas with ice.
"Thanks." Ben smiled warmly.
"Anything for you." Grace winked.
Ben laughed and took a long, heavy sigh. "We really need to talk, Grace."
Grace raised an eyebrow and sat down beside him. "About?"
"I have a tiny confession to make and I'm not sure how you will feel about it."
Grace automatically stood up. "Oh, God. You didn't cheat on me, did you?" The look on her face was pure disgust.
"No!" Ben abruptly rose off the bed.
"Why'd you ask her out for coffee?" Grace wondered.
"Well, I needed to know how I felt about her still to take the next step forward with you." Ben looked down at his feet. Grace just stood there stunned. She had no clue what to say.
"I'm not sure how I feel about that either," Grace confessed and resumed her seat on the bed.
Ben shrugged and sat down beside her, pulling Grace into his side. She laid her head on his shoulder and bit her lip.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you," Ben whispered sincerely, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
After a long pause, Grace finally spoke. "Do you still love her?"
Those words rang in his head and he didn't know how to answer. He just knew that all he could think about was the girl he was holding in his arms and how he felt all too terrible about possibly hurting her. He wanted to make it better and make her happy.
He wanted for her to have everything she deserved.
He wanted to be the one to give her that.
"I will always love her, but I love you, Grace Bowman, and I'm ready to move forward with you."
She smiled, because that was all she needed to hear.
The sun was setting. A light pink and orange flooded the sky and fluffy, white clouds appeared in scattered places. Amy drove towards the park which was now practically deserted, minus the occasional old couple or family. She parked her car and walked towards their bench.
It was theirs because they would always bring John there. They would sit there and talk, hold hands and watch John pull grass out of the earth. That's how it became their bench.
She walked down the gravel path, anxiously biting her lip. Finally, she saw him.
He was sitting down, his head tilted down toward the ground and his hand twisted in his pockets. Amy took a deep breath and continued towards the bench.
As soon as he heard her approaching, he stood and eyed her up and down. Instantly, he felt warm inside. When they made eye contact, he stopped thinking and everything he rehearsed in the mirror was thrown away.
"Hi," Ricky murmured.
"Hi," Amy whispered.
They continued to look at each other in silence until finally, Ricky cleared his throat. "I'm sorry."
Amy bit her lip and crossed her arms over her chest, feeling the cool air begin to hit her bare arms. "I'm sorry too," she faintly whispered.
Ricky noticed the goose bumps on Amy's arm, so he shrugged out of his leather jacket and passed it to her. She eyed it for a minute, debating whether to take it.
Finally, she grabbed it and put it on, inhaling the smell that was totally Ricky Underwood and loving the warmth.
"What I said, Amy, was wrong-" Ricky began.
"No," she cut him off," I said some things I shouldn't have and I didn't exactly mean them."
"I'm pretty sure you meant some of them, Amy, because you wouldn't have said them but I don't care about that."
Amy raised an eyebrow.
"Walk with me?" Ricky offered.
She nodded and walked towards him, wishing she could grab his hand. He also wanted to grab her hand as well, they both didn't make the move though.
After walking in silence, he had to speak to her. "Amy, I miss you. A lot."
Amy looked up at him and ran her fingers through her pony tail. "I miss you too."
Ricky smirked Amy's favourite smirk.
Yeah, it was her favourite smirk. He looked sexy doing it and she loved it because only he could pull it off. She wanted to jump on him right then and there, but she wasn't going to because they weren't together and they needed to talk. She didn't want to be that couple who fought, broke up and then kissed and made up while ignoring their problems. They wouldn't fix themselves.
"What we both said was wrong and if I could take it all back, I would. I was jealous and scared you would just run off to Ben or something. I should have trusted you more."
"I don't think trust is our issue in our relationship, Ricky."
Ricky was stunned, but seeing as how she was nervous, he was glad she took that step. He was just confused. "What?"
"We both said we didn't trust each other the other night. I actually don't believe that."
Ricky shrugged. "Why do you think this?"
Amy looked him straight in the eye. "We have both been hurt before. We have insecurities."
Ricky knew she was right. "You are right. I have been hurt before and it's been too many times to count. My parents have hurt me, Adrian has hurt me, friends have hurt me and girls have hurt me. I can't just...give my heart to anyone, Amy."
Amy felt her eyes about to fill with tears. "I understand."
Ricky smiled and lifted up Amy's chin, and whispered the words, "Which is why I'm giving my heart to you, Amy Juergens. I'm in love with you. It just took me awhile to figure out. Now that I know this, I can't deny it anymore. I can't pretend I don't and then decide to tell you once you're gone."
Amy didn't know how to respond so she smiled, and jumped in his arms. She held him tightly, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him deeply. After she needed a breath, she slid her fingertips down his cheek and whispered against his lips, "I love you too."
After standing in the middle of the park kissing and hugging, Amy finally stood back on the ground. "I know people have left you and hurt you before, Ricky, but I won't be one of them."
Ashley felt the plush towel between her fingers and she dried her hands. She just finished bathing John and now she was getting him ready for bed. She carried him to the nursery and got him dressed. She read him a story and played with his hair until he fell asleep.
After she was done with John, she headed downstairs to work on some homework. Before she could even get anywhere near her history text book, her cell phone beeped. Grant's number and face appeared on the screen and Ashley opened the phone.
I'm outside