Last night Harry didn't text me goodnight. Well, night over there that is. He usually texts me all the time. Little things mostly. Just like how our days our. He might have been busy. I understand. It's not like I'm not really his girlfriend, so he can talk to whom ever he wants. I just wish it was me. I was about to go write a song, and my friend Stormie called me.
"Hey, Stormie, whats up?" I asked as she usually texts me.
"You're cheating on Harry Styles?!" She yelled through the phone.
"No!" I replied. I hadn't even looked at another guy like that. Then it hit me what she was talking about. Last night with Ken. "Ken is just a friend,"
"Cara, there's rumors going around," She told me. It's the same voice when she doesn't want to say something, but she knows she has to.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like you're sleeping with him to get your record out there faster. Like you're cheating on Harry because you're lonely. Like you and Harry are not really dating. Like this Ken guy," She told me. I had to cut her off.
"Okay, I'm not sleeping with Ken, I don't like Ken like that, and I like Harry more than anyone will ever know," I sighed at the end. "So people really think that about me?" I asked almost in tears.
"I don't, but others do. Cara, you haven't talked to me about Harry the way you did Nathan," She pointed out to me. I used to tell her everything that was going on with Nathan and I. There's not much I can say about Harry.
"Okay fine, when I think about Harry, I can't breathe. When I talk about him, I feel speechless. I can't get enough of Harry. I honestly think I've gone mad. When he doesn't text me I feel like I did something wrong. Stormie, I really don't want anyone but him," Again, I was almost in tears. I hadn't told anyone that.
"Why don't you tell the world that? Cara these people are suspicious. Tell them that, and they'll know where your heart lies. You can inspire so many people. I know that if you just tell someone that, it will be clear to see that you truly like Harry," Stormie had a way of talking things into me.
"Okay, I have to go. I love you, Stormie,"
"You too," She laughed.
"Bye," I hung up. I had to get this cleared up.
*** Later at USA today***
"So there has been a rumor going around," She looked at me for my reaction. Then she continued. "That you have cheated on Harry Styles. Is this true?" She asked.
"No. He was helping me with a song. I have heard the rumors about me sleeping with Ken to make this record. To those people who think that, I don't care if this record takes a year to record. I will do this record my way. This record is all me. It it my heart and soul. I'm not going to do anything like that. " I talked to her.
"So what does Harry think of all this?" She asked.
"He hasn't really talked to me. I think the only way to talk to him right now is telling him through the papers, so I would like to say something,"
"Go on,"
"Harry makes me feel like I'm going insane. I can't breathe when I think about him. I get this strange feeling that makes me smile. When I talk about Harry, I feel like there's not enough words to describe his perfection. I love Harry more than anyone could ever know. Yes, I love Harry. I love him," I almost whispered the last sentence just to say it to myself. It felt good to get that off my chest. Though Harry will never know that's how I truly feel. I looked down and wiped my damp eyes. I breathed out, and told myself not to cry.
Once I knew I was okay, I looked up at everyone. Everyone was quiet. The camera man was still. It was like my life was on pause. Everything was in slow motion. I could feel my heart beating fast though. My hands where shaking. I didn't know what to do.
"Well, um... I'm so... um... You must really love him," She said to me.
"I do," I smiled.
"Thank you for coming today, and I can't wait for your performance of Brown Eyes," She smiled.
I walked off, and I got a call from Harry, "Hey, Harry,"
"Hey, Cara. That was beautiful what you said," He giggled a little. "Real cute,"
"Thanks... I think,"
"Do you really like this Ken lad?" He asked.
"No," I replied. That answer was simple.
"Okay good," He laughed. "I'm near New York today, and today is a free day, so I should probably see a movie with you or something,"
"Well get over here, and we'll see what there is to do today. I got to go, but I'll see you around...say Five?" I asked.
"Sure thing. See you at your place," Harry hung up.
I smiled. Everything is going back to normal. Normal-ish. As normal as I can get.
***
It was Five, and I heard a knock at my door. I opened it to see a smiling Harry Styles. "Come in," I said to him, and I walked into the living room.
Harry closed the door behind him."So what do you want to do?" He asked as he sat next to me.
"We could go see the new Hobbit movie. I still haven't seen it. I've been in the studio most of the time," I told him.
"Oh yeah, you have. Wanna sing me one of your new songs?" He asked.
"You really want to hear it?" I asked in shook.
"Yeah," He smiled. He looked a little excited.
"Okay," I sung out the words, "Two kinds of people in this world; Winners, losers. I lost my power in this world, Cause I did not use it. So I go insane Like I always do. And I call your name, he's a lot like you," I kept singing until I was done with the song.
"That was really good," He said.
"Thank you," I smiled.
"How about we drink some wine, and help you do some songs?" He asked.
"Okay, but why?" I asked. I wanted to know.
"We're friends," He smiled at me.
"Okay. Good enough for me."
I brought out the wine, and we started writing songs. I never really liked working with other people on songs, but the way Harry and I sung together on that song just made me feel...happy. He said that he would even record it with me. We spent three hours working this all out.
"Okay, how about we stop and go to the movies?" He asked. "I'll drive since you just finished a glass," Harry hadn't had a glass since we started working on 'Siberia'
"Okay," I smiled, and he opened the door for me.
Once the doors the the elevator opened, Harry grabbed my hand, and walked me out. I wish this all wasn't an act. I really do love him. I think this is love. This crazy feeling is love. I've never felt it before.
"So I was thinking we could do what we did tonight in the studio. We could do it on the piano, and you can do the first verse, and chorus, and then I come in with the second verse then both of us do the second chorus. Then the only time we harmony is on the bridge," Harry basically just said what we did today. I smiled.
I had put my arm on the arm rest not even knowing it, and I felt Harry put his hand in mine. I jumped a little. Is he really doing this? Don't do anything about it, I told myself.
The movie ended, and Harry and I walked out hand in hand. I must be dreaming. Harry drove me to the park where they did a few 500 days of Summer. I loved that movie and Harry knew. He took me here knowingly.
We sat on the bench hand in hand, and looked out at the buildings. I was trying to keep from smiling, but there was a little one remaining on my face. There was a fan or two that took our photo. Once they left, I went on Instagram to post a photo of us. Harry did the same.
There was a question ringing in my ear, Does he like me? Could this be love? I wanted to stay here forever. Forever with Harry sounds great. I sound absolutely crazy.
"Penis!" Harry yelled out. He looked at me with a cheeky grin. He wants to play the Penis game. Game on Styles.
"Penis!" I yelled a little louder.
"Penis!" He yelled a little louder as he looked around at the people who where listening.
"Penis!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Harry laughed at me.
"Penis!" He yelled."Oh no kids, shh,"
"Penis," I yelled louder. Harry pushed me.
Harry brushed some hair out of my face. I could feel it getting harder to breathe. I leaned to his ear and whispered, "Catch me," I got up and ran away. Harry followed me, and I lasted a few minutes before Harry tackled me to the ground. We where both laughing at each other. I hadn't been this happy in a long time.
Harry hovered above me. I could feel his breath on my skin. I was scared, but I was smiling at his smile. Harry slowly leaned closer to me. His lips where only an inch away from mine. I bit my lip, and continued looking at his lips and eyes. Harry kissed me.
This kiss was different than the others. This one felt real. There was no one around, no one watching. It was just the two of us. This felt so right.
Harry broke the kiss, and got off of me. He sat up, and looked at the city. "Sorry," He apologized without looking at me. Why was he sorry?
"It's okay." I sat up next to him and looked out at the city. Thinking about what I did wrong. Why did he say sorry? I'm reading too much into this. But could this feeling I have be love?