I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO HATE ME AFTER YOU READ THIS. SHOOT, I HATE MYSELF FOR WRITING IT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, IT MUST'VE BEEN THE HOT CHOCOLATE THAT I DRANK WHILE WRITING THIS. BUT I PROMISE THAT IT'S GOING TO GET BETTER, I SWEAR. I JUST CANCELLED ALL MY PLANNING ON THIS AND STARTED OVER ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO DO. I DON'T THINK THEY'RE GOING TO BE A SEQUEL TO THIS BUT I'LL TRY TO MAKE THIS AS LONG AS I CAN. okay, enough caps and authors notes. Let the hate comments begin....
Chapter Twenty-One
Lilly POV
“What the fuck are you talking about Niall,” I shouted across the room to where he was standing. Everyone was looking at him and I realized that Harry had left, closing the door behind him I guess to check on Mel or something. Granted, I still wanted to be friends with Mel. I mean, she’s the only girl friend I have and I want to be friends with Harry but I don’t know if that will ever happen again due to the circumstances.
“That potion you took, it’s giving you human-like qualities. You’re becoming thin from the fact of not eating and I’ve noticed that you’re beginning to age. Your face has lost the babyish features to it and your hair is growing as well. You’re becoming human again.”
Not really believing him, I didn’t know what was happening with me. I looked around the room for something, anything that would prove his theory false. I looked over to Niall’s dresser and found a small shaving razor. I’ve only tried this once only to have the scar heal up and to not feel any pain. I got up out of bed and walked over to the blade slowly, feeling everyone’s eyes on me. In one swift motion, I picked up the blade and made contact to my skin resulting in blood and pain. In not even a second after that, the blade was out of my hand and Niall’s hand was on my wrist, covering up the long gash I had just made. I looked down and the blade was at my feet, blood covering it. It’s been a long time since I have seen and smelled my own blood, the pain not registering to my mouth until I felt the pressure on my skin from Niall covering it. People were talking around me but I couldn’t hear them or I just tuned them out being intrigued with the event that had just occur. Although, one voice stood out to me out of all the rest.
“Lilly! What the fuck are you doing?!” His voice was urgent and pleading, sounding like he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“I…” was all that came out of my mouth. I was slightly dizzy and felt my legs go out from under me but never exactly hitting the floor. Niall had caught me and the last thing I saw was his face searching mine. I had a smile on my face before I slipped into unconsciousness.
Niall POV
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I knew she was going to do it but I was hoping that she wouldn’t. I should’ve been there sooner to stop her from doing all this. Now she lay in my arms, her body becoming really cold.
“Niall, do something,” I heard someone yell before I knew it was Lou who was saying this.
“Liam, call 911,” Zayn shouted at the same time. My eyes just wouldn’t leave Lilly’s closed ones. I saw the smile on her face before her eyes closed which scared me even more; she wanted this to happen. I never thought that she would actually want to give up her life than be with me but then I knew that she had this planned out all along, knowing that she would get me from my blind side. No one was actually looking to kill me, it was just tests to this final point where I would lose her forever. What she didn’t factor in was the small little detail that was making life inside of her. Either way, I would have to save one of them if not both.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and as I turned around, I realized it was the paramedics trying to get to Lilly. I knew that by the time they got her to the hospital, she would be gone and I felt like ghost just floating around. I couldn’t feel anything and I didn’t have any emotion left of what I was feeling. I just couldn’t believe what was happening. I knew I should’ve taken it the hardest but it wasn’t me at the time. It was Harry. How someone could have that much affect on someone is beyond me. I didn’t know that Harry liked Lilly that much and it seemed like it was on the same scale as me.
“Why didn’t you stop her, you ass,” he spat at me while he shoved me. I didn’t answer him and soon he grabbed my shirt. “Answer me you twat!” This was once my best friend and here he is crying over my girlfriend that he loved himself. I didn’t know how to take all of this and for once I was hoping that I was dreaming but we all know that that wasn’t the case. His head hit my chest and he just let the tears fall on my blue shirt. That’s when I knew that everything was really happening. Mel was in the doorway, tears streaming down her face. Honestly, I didn’t think the cut was that bad or deep but the fact that she wasn’t eating and that the potion had something to do with it, I knew that there was nothing I could do.
And then there was a word that I heard the doctor’s say over and over again. “Anemic.” That word just kept going through my head before I registered what it actually meant. She didn’t have enough blood to make more blood cells because she was unable to. Her not eating had the effect that she wanted and I never knew. Now that I really think about it, I never really knew Lilly at all. She seemed like someone I only dreamed of or what I really wanted her to be.
Somehow, the lads managed to drag me to the hospital and sat me in a chair in the waiting room. They didn’t know her fate like I did. They didn’t know everything. Zayn kept his hand on me, looking over at me from time to time. I just looked down at my feet and the white tile that lined the whole hospital, just waiting for those few words to be said.
Finally, a doctor came out and confirmed my thoughts; she was gone.
A Few Months Later…
“Niall, don’t be like that,” Liam said as I was walking down the street to the store, my hands in my pockets. What happened months ago were still fresh in my mind and I was still having those nightmares. It didn’t help that I had a constant reminded of her living in my house now.
“Liam, I don’t want to talk about it.”
He grabbed my shoulder. “You never want to talk about it. What if she has questions later on in her life? What is she going to do? You’re her-“
“Don’t you dare say father. I’m not that thing’s father.”
He held on tighter to my shoulder. “How could you say something like that? You helped make her and now you have to take care of her. If you didn’t want it to happen then you should’ve not had sex at all. Don’t blame her for your own mistake. Grow up and act like you’ve got some sense.” Those words really just wanted me to throw him into the nearest building but we were out in public and that’s not something that I should do. All the lads know the story by now since I told them a few weeks ago. I’ve been quiet since then and locked up in my room, staying as far as I can from her.
I heard Liam sigh beside me. “I’m sorry, but you’re acting stupid. I know that you loved her but it’s time to move on, Niall. What are you going to do? You can’t bring her back nor die along with her. I know that I don’t know how deeply in love you were with her but it showed a lot and I know it hurt a lot when you heard that she was gone forever. You wouldn’t speak to anyone for weeks on end. You don’t play your guitar anymore, you don’t eat and I haven’t seen you laugh or smile at all. You’re just like a walking corpse. You and Harry were close and now you don’t even look at each other. People’s first loves die all the time but you don’t see them going around like this. This isn’t healthy, Niall. And I’m seriously worried about you. I think you should go back home to Ireland for awhile.”
“Are you kidding me right now?!” I clenched my fists into balls by my side. Was he really sending me home?
He shrugged. “I don’t know what to fucking do with you Niall. You need help and the only one I know who can give it to you is your mum and the rest of your family. It’s like I don’t know you anymore.”
“What about our interviews?”
“Lie like we always do. But you’re going.”
“Do I really have no say in this?” He shook his head. “Fucking hell.”
Liam POV
“When is he coming back,” she asked as she looked up at me. It was scary how much she looked like Niall and Lilly. She had the same piercing blue eyes like Niall has and she had Lilly’s round face and cheeks. On her face though, were a bunch of freckles and she had reddish-brown hair. No one else came up with a name for her at the hospital but me and I decided to call her Andy. I don’t know why but she looked like an Andy to me. Lou suggested Margaret after I said something and the rest of the lads shook their heads no, settling for Andy. Harry thought it would be nice to have Lilly’s full first name be her middle name and I thought it was a good idea as well. Niall has yet to come around to the whole idea.
We soon found out that Andy grows rapidly in the few months that she’s been alive. She looked to be about 3 or 4 now even though she was only born 3 months ago. We thought about putting her in school but then thought against it since she’s always growing. Hopefully the growth will slow down as we don’t want her going outside just yet but we don’t want to keep her in here forever.
I shrugged as I placed her onto my lap as I sat next to Zayn. “I don’t know quite yet. But I want you to understand that it isn’t because of you.”
“He thinks I killed mummy.” It really fascinated me how fast she caught onto things and how fast she was actually learning.
I shook my head, fixing her pigtails. “He doesn’t think that.”
She shook her head this time. “Yeah, he does.”
“How do you know that?”
“I know things.”
“Okay, tell me. What am I thinking?”
Her bottom lip stuck out as she looked at me, trying to guess what I was thinking. “You want him to get better and move on.”
My mouth opened slightly at how easily she knew the thoughts I was trying to cloud. “Try Zayn.”
She looked up at him, a smile clear on her face. “Hair gel.”
“Dear god,” I said as I placed her back onto the floor as I got up and headed for the stairs. “Lou, Harry! Come down here, you have to see this!”
Niall POV
This was mad. The fact that I was actually home like he told me to still caught me off guard. And here I was, in my old room with everything left how I left it. I was currently sitting on my bed, looking right at one of many old guitars I had in my room. My mum insisted that I talked to her but I just didn’t feel like talking to her about anything. I mean, what was I supposed to say? My immortal girlfriend killed herself and had my baby? That wasn’t going to fly with my mother. She might either try to kill me or have a heart attack herself.
I felt empty without anyone being around me but most importantly, I felt not like myself like Liam had said. It’s been awhile since I strummed a tune or even touched a guitar for that matter. And there was something inside me that just told me to pick up the guitar for a second and feel the strings on my fingertips.
The feeling felt foreign to me as I placed my fingers into a G chord. I strummed the strings, making the guitar come to life. It’s been awhile since I heard such music come from myself and somehow I wanted more. Placing my fingers into a new chord, I began to strum a melody.
“People say we shouldn’t be together
We're too young to know about forever
But I say they don’t know what they talk talk talkin’ about
Cause this love is only getting stronger
So I don’t wanna wait any longer
I just wanna tell the world that you're mine girlll
Ohh
They don’t know about the things we do
They don’t know about the I love you’s
But I bet you if they only knew
They will just be jealous of us
They don’t know about the up all night’s
They don’t know I've waited all my life
Just to find a love that feels this right
Baby they don’t know about
They don’t know about us”
That’s when I finally let the tears fall after all these months. I’ve kept them in so long, I forgot how it felt to cry; to let all these emotions I’ve been holding in come out finally. I was crying so hard that it was hard to get air back into my lungs as I continued to cry. By this time, my mum came into the room and took the guitar from me, taking me into her warm embrace.
“Shh,” she cooed, trying to calm me down. I just rested my head into her neck and clung to her hard. It’s a funny thing how your parents, mostly your mum, can make you feel a little bit better just by her touch. I felt myself calm down at little, the tears slowing down and my breath coming back to normal. “Are you ready to tell me,” she asked as she patted my hair down, still holding me close.
I nodded my head, swallowing hard before I told her. “Lilly killed herself a few months ago, mum.”
“I know that, love. I read every magazine that has your face on it. I was just waiting for you to tell me when you were ready yourself.”
“But there’s so many things that you don’t know,” I said, feeling myself getting ready to cry again.
“Like what? You know you can tell me anything. You’re still my baby and I’ll love you just the same.”
“We were different, mum. Like, really different.”
“Different how?”
Was I really about to tell her this now? Was I really going to come out with my secret? “When I was little, did you notice anything… special about me?”
She pulled back a little so she could see my face. She thought for a second. “When you were a baby,” she began. “I noticed that your eyes would change colors when the weirdest things would happen. Your eyes would change to a bright yellow and then back to blue. Things would either be moved across the room or your toys would be in your hands after I’d put them away. I knew you were different from the start and being that I never noticed Gregg do things like that, I hoped that it would miss you but of course it didn’t.”
“You mean… you knew?”
She nodded her head. “I’ve always knew. Your Aunt April, she’s one too. It skipped me and went straight to her and you.” She caressed my cheek, making me look her right in the eyes. “Mother’s know everything. And I knew that something was different about Lilly just by the way you looked at her and talked about her. And I knew something was off too. I know you don’t want to hear this, but Lilly isn’t the one that was made for you. She was a Shief Immortal.”
“What’s a Shief Immortal?”
“A Shief Immortal is an immortal that can make you believe what they want you to believe. They’re more like illusion immortals. She was making you think that everything that was happening between you two and around you were real. And since she can manifest things into reality, that makes it so much easier for them.”
“How do I tell the difference?”
“There’s only few in existence. They mostly talk about how they want to kill themselves or be human again. When that comes up in conversation, you know that that person is a Shief Immortal. You, even though you are half, don’t talk about killing yourself, right?”
I nodded my head. “So, they’re basically suicidal?”
She nodded her head along with me. “That’s right. They’re just like a basic immortal but are powerful with making illusions and making it seem like they’re suicidal.”
“How did you learn all of this?”
She chuckled. “I did some research when I was young and growing up around immortals. It helps sometimes.” She kissed the top of my head. “Is there something else you wanted to tell me?”
I swallowed hard again. “Well, there is this thing…”
Harry POV
I’ve been slowly getting back to how I was before. Of course I was single again since Mel found out that I had feelings for Lilly. She said she knew it all along but just didn’t want to believe it herself. I felt truly and utterly sorry that it seemed like I was using her to just fill the void I had for Lilly.
I’ve been mostly taking care of Andy with of course the lad’s help. She seemed to take more of a liking to me as she would always be asking for me and wanting me around her all the time when I could. She didn’t know why she was always in the house and never allowed outside but I just told her it’s not safe for her to be out just yet. She was in no way dumb. She seemed very smart and always on top of things. She has always been able to put a smile on my face since Lilly’s passing. I in no way thought that she was the cause of Lilly dying but she felt as though Niall thought that she was. It surprised me that she never called Niall ‘dad’ or her father but he was always either ‘Ni’ or ‘Niall’.
It hurt me to see how Niall would just neglect her and turn his back on her when he was legally his which is why I think she’s gotten so attached to me. She felt like she wasn’t getting what she needed and me being the one that always wanted a daughter, I took the space of her father figure. It’s just something that only we understand.
“Harry,” I heard her high pitched voice say as she wobbled into my room as I lay on my bed.
“Yes love?”
She extended her arms out and I picked her up, placing her next to me on the bed. “Tell me about mum and Ni.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Why don’t they love me?”
That question was heart tearing as it came out of her mouth. I could never understand why people have children to only have them feel like they don’t love them. Knowing about some of this being that my parents went through a divorce, I know she feels as if it’s her fault. “I’m sure that they love you, Andy.”
“Then how come mum is not here? Why isn’t she here to love me?”
I took her into my arms as she began to cry. What Lilly did, I could never forgive. There was just something wrong that didn’t add up with her. “Your mum was selfish and only thought about ending her life. She never wanted to be here and did all that she could to make sure that she wasn’t here. You can’t blame yourself for her selfishness. And as for Niall, I’m sure he loves you more than you know. He’s just hurting with the loss of your mum like we all are but of course he’s taking it worst than any of us could even imagine. Being around you left him a memory of Lilly which he just wasn’t ready for. He didn’t leave because he doesn’t love you. He left because he does love you and he wants to get better for you and him. He’ll be back, I promise.”
I kissed her on the top of her head and I could see that her eyes were getting heavy. Even though she was growing rapidly, she was still as normal as any 3 year old and of course they took naps. She soon fell asleep in my arms and I pulled my covers over her small body. There was so much that she just didn’t know yet and I really hope that Niall does come home. I miss him more than anything.