Part two
I let out a long sigh when I let myself fall down on the couch next to Dinah. My body is overheated, sweat dripping off me and I'm pretty sure I stink.
Never thought that these dance rehearsals would be this tough for me. I know I haven't danced like we used to in a while but I was under the impression that my stamina was still okay. Guess I was wrong.
I continue to pant while Dinah looks at me with a grin. ''Not as in shape as you used to be anymore huh?''
I look at her while drying my face with a towel and nod in exhaustion. ''Is this wat getting old feels like?'' I ask in return and Dinah laughs.
''Wouldn't know Mila, I'm still in the best shape of my life.'' Dinah says with a playful look of arrogance. I laugh at her and just shake my head.
''We are getting better though, getting more in sync every day.'' I say as I look back at the dance floor where Lauren and Ally are still dancing, learning the steps with support of Mani and our choreographer.
''You mean that you guys are getting up to mine and Mani's level, finally.'' Dinah replies, smirking playfully while also watching the other girls dance.
I nudge her in slight annoyance and Dinah just laughs. ''No honestly, it does look better every day. Which is good because the show is getting closer.''
I nod with a nervous sigh. When I think about the show taking place in one month and how much there is left for us to do, my body starts to feel restless. I'm not ready for the show yet, I miss my confidence that I had a few years ago when I thought I could just wing it or had it all under control. Guess my anxiety issues aren't completely gone yet.
''I'm getting nervous just thinking about it..'' I admit. ''I feel like we need to do more to be as prepared as we can be.''
Now Dinah turns her head to look at me making me look at her as well and therefor divert my eyes from Lauren and Ally. (Mostly Lauren)
''I disagree girl. We don't want to be over rehearsed and we need to protect ourselves. You know we used to overwork ourselves all the time when we were younger, I thought we had learned to take it a little easier now, no?'' Dinah says and I have to admit that she's right.
''Don't stress too much over it Mila. Leave some room for improvisation and give your voice and your body some rest. God knows you might need that body soon.'' Dinah trails off and I frown at her now.
''What?''
''Oh come on Mila, you think I hadn't noticed?'' my best friend says, turning her body to me so she can lower her voice. Her big brown eyes focus on mine and the faint smirk on her lips is all too familiar to me.
My throat dries up immediately and I try to give myself some time by drinking some water and looking at Dinah questioningly.
''You and Lauren. Not sure what's going on but there's definitely some kind of tension between you two. I noticed first at the bar a few weeks ago and thought it might have just been the alcohol. But then in a few meetings I noticed it too and during soundcheck I saw you guys goofing around together but there was definitely some flirting going on. So tell me, what's up with you guys?'' She answers and all the words she says make my head spin.
''Uh...'' I respond, trying to form normal sentences in my head to brush it off to Dinah. But her eyes are still focused on me and I'm pretty sure my heart is visibly thumping in my chest. My face heats up even more while Dinah's words keep ringing in my ears loudly and I start to question everything about me and Lauren even more.
Dinah raises her eyebrows at me and I turn away to look at Lauren again. I see her body move to the rhythm of the music effortlessly, her skin shining from drops of sweat that glisten on her body, her hair a hot mess and her eyes focused on herself in the mirror.
Why I thought looking at Lauren would make my body calm down from Dinah's interrogation is a question I could never answer. In fact, looking at her only crazes me even more.
''I uh, I'm not sure.'' I stammer out, making Dinah huff at me in response.
''Thought so, here we go again.'' She mutters and I look at her again. ''It's always the same with you two, you circle around each other for months then you eventually end up in a relationship, grow apart, get close again, circle around each other and then grow apart again. Now we're back to circling around each other once more. So, what's going on?''
Her sum up of mine and Lauren's relationship rings in my head. She's absolutely right though, but I didn't think we were at the same stage again as we were all those years ago. Of course I noticed the tension but I wasn't even sure whether it was true or I was imagining it. But with Dinah now confirming everything for me, it all starts to click in my head.
''You're right... I wasn't sure if that was what's happening but if you noticed then it must be true.'' I admit to her and Dinah nods her head furiously now.
''Come on Mila, a blind person could see the sparks between you two. Feel like I've made a trip down memory lane and am 18 again.'' She comments and I can't help but laugh a little at that.
''Has Lauren said anything to you then?'' I ask, curious to what else Dinah possibly knows to help myself make a complete picture of the situation I'm in now. But Dinah shakes her head at me.
''Of course not, Lauren always keeps everything to herself. So unless she has written a song about it, I have no idea where she stands. All I know is that that girl is still as crazy about you as she used to be. And seeing you two together again these last few weeks only assures me that that will probably never change.'' She answers and I swallow heavily.
''I honestly haven't given it much thought. Of course I noticed the tension but I didn't look for what's behind it. Do you...'' I pause as I shift my gaze towards Lauren for a moment before continuing, ''do you think she wants something more?''
The words feel heavy on my lips. The anxiety inside of me hopes that Dinah's answer will be 'no', but the rest of my body aches to hear 'yes.'
''I don't know Mila.'' Is the answer I get, and I'm not sure whether I'm relieved or not.
''Like I said, she hasn't said anything to me. But seeing the way she keeps looking at you says enough to me. I wonder when it will be enough for you to take the hint.'' Dinah adds before standing up and walking towards the door where fresh towels and water bottles are waiting for us.
I sigh and follow Dinah with my eyes before I let them wander to the big mirror in the dance studio. Lauren is still practicing with Ally, working on a particular twirl while bending forward and moving their hips. It's a tough move but turns out incredibly sexy when performed well.
I watch them dance for a few more moments and let Dinah's words sink in. I try to think about what it would mean if Lauren really is interested in me like that again. I wonder how I feel about everything but I don't think I can find an answer yet.
I love Lauren, I always have. But do I love her like that again?
In the midst of my thoughts almost overwhelming me I see Lauren do the twirl again and bending forward, one hand on her hip, the other on her chest. She throws her head back when she moves upwards, lips slightly parted and to my surprise, eyes fully focused on me in the mirror.
I gulp heavily while she throws in another move with her head, making her long hair dance around her face and she slowly sways her hips. My cheeks heat up immediately and somewhere in my lower stomach something starts to flutter. I gasp for some air while Lauren continues to dance through the routine sensually, eyes never leaving me and all reality flies by me.
Maybe it's not necessarily love that I'm feeling right now.
But it's definitely lust.
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''Ready Camz?'' Lauren calls out when she walks into my living room with two glasses of wine and sits down next to me on the couch. I take the glass she hands me and she clings them together.
''To the fans.'' Lauren toasts and I agree with her before taking a sip.
''I'm nervous.'' I admit, while looking at the screen of my laptop where we're able to see the ticket sale in just a few moments.
Lauren hums next to me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. ''Don't worry, 's gonna be fine.'' She reassures me and I sigh and nod in agreement. I look at Lauren momentarily and manage to find some comfort in the calmness of her eyes.
She noticed my anxious state all day and proposed to see how tonight would play out together so she could be there for me. An offer I couldn't resist, obviously.
The tickets will go on sale within a few minutes now, after the news of the reunion show was announced this morning. The news has been received in nothing but positivity, we've been trending on twitter and Instagram the whole day long and we're expecting a massive amount of people trying to buy tickets as soon as the online gates open.
But with the announcement came the expected media attention for me and Lauren. We all knew it was bound to happen but the enormity of it really surprised me. Pictures of us when we were still together were also trending online and our manager has been called non-stop with questions about the show and about mine and Lauren's relationship status.
It's been overwhelming to say the least. My anxiety levels have been rising since this morning and hasn't stopped at all yet. Plus the fact that I don't even know what to answer should somebody ever ask me directly about our status is even more nerve-wrecking than everything else.
''Hey, come back out of your head.'' Lauren's voice gently says into my ear, telling me that my wandering mind hasn't gone unnoticed.
I turn to look at her again and feel my cheeks heat up a little at the intensity from her eyes. ''Sorry, just nervous.'' I say and Lauren chuckles.
''I know, you just told me.'' She answers and I blush even harder.
''Sorry.'' I mutter and turn to look back at the laptop screen.
''Stop saying you're sorry, I don't mind at all. I'm a little nervous too so I don't blame you.'' Lauren tells me and I turn back to her once more. She has removed her arm from around my shoulders now to hold her glass with both hands but I'm confused.
''Since when do you get nervous about these things? You've never worried about ticket sales before.'' I state and Lauren nods before taking a sip of her wine.
''True, and I'm still not worried about the ticket sales. I mean, have you seen the response from around the world? This show will be sold-out in no time.'' Lauren tells me with enough confidence to make my worries about it disappear almost completely.
''Then what are you nervous about?'' I dare to ask, curious to the answer she's going to give. But Lauren just shrugs and takes another sip of her drink, not looking back at me. Which is weird, Lauren is all about eye-contact until it gets too personal. So I take the hint and look back at the laptop while drinking my wine, giving her some non-verbal space.
''Well to be honest..'' Lauren starts, waits for a few moments to weigh her words before she dares to speak them out loud. ''I'm more worried about how you are handling everything.'' She finishes, taking me by surprise once more.
''Me? What do you mean?'' I ask and Lauren clears her throat and sighs deeply before looking back at me, which is a clear sign that she's about to tell me something that means a lot to her.
''Okay don't take this the wrong way.'' She warns and I nod for her to continue. ''I feel like we've grown closer again over the last couple of weeks and I'm really happy about that. But at the same time I know that we've been in a little bubble with rehearsals and nobody knowing anything about us spending time together. But now that that bubble has been broken this morning and the whole world knows we as a group are together again, I'm... uh.. I guess I'm a little scared it might change things between us.'' Lauren speaks her mind.
Her eyes are looking at me carefully, checking for all signs that I might give away, her hands are still holding her glass tightly and she seems nervous now too.
Her words ring in my head and I understand her worries completely, they resonate in every way possible. Because it's exactly how I'm feeling and it just goes to show that she knows me so well. She reads me effortlessly.
''Well....'' I start, not even knowing where I'm going with this. ''I don't blame you for thinking that, you're not wrong.'' I admit and I see Lauren look down now.
''I knew it.'' Lauren mutters and I can't help but smile at her sad expression because it only assures me in knowing that she's loving our time together as much as I am and I guess I've read her signals the right way the last couple of weeks. I move to take the glass out of her hands and put them both on the table in front of us.
I reach out to lift her chin up and make her look at me again. She swallows at my touch and I feel her cheeks heat up a little under my fingers.
''But I'm not 18 anymore.'' I answer softly. ''I might still get nervous, sure. But I'd like to think that I've grown up a little and won't let these things affect me that much anymore.''
Lauren gulps and I see her scan my whole face for any lies but I know she won't find them. Obviously my anxiety levels have risen since this morning and of course I'm a little scared and nervous about all the media outlets and the whole world who will put mine and Lauren's relationship status and history under a microscope. But I won't let it affect my relationships with anyone anymore. That time is in the past.
''Really?'' Lauren almost whispers in disbelieve, a weight visibly falling off her shoulders.
''Yes. Laur I refuse to let them drive us apart again. I'm too happy to have you back in my life now and I don't want that to change.'' I tell her honestly and relief is obvious on her whole face.
''Oh my god, you have no idea how happy that makes me.'' Lauren mutters, turning her body to give me a tight hug. Her embrace warms me up completely and I realize more and more that I don't think that I could lose her again.
I really want her close to me as much as possible.
When she pulls away I still feel some butterflies in my stomach and the blush on my face tells me one thing clearly: I am definitely falling for Lauren again...
She kisses my cheek and pulls away from the loving hug she gave me. ''I'm with you, I don't want to lose you again. I mean... I kind of, uh..'' She trails off, and I can see she's wondering whether she should say her next words. Possibly in fear of rejection.
My body is heating up, every fiber of my soul feels that she's about to say something important now. Something that's going to change everything. Butterflies are fluttering all around my stomach and I swallow heavily.
''What..?'' I ask gently, softly, giving her the space to find the courage to tell me what's on her mind.
She takes a deep breath and looks at me, her eyes searching mine for the right words. Her hand reaches up to touch my cheek and gently moves to stroke through my hair. My chest rises and falls heavily and my throat dries up.
''I..'' She mutters, passion pouring out of her eyes and she bites her lip which drives me so insane I could pass out right this moment. But I manage to keep looking at her, and suddenly I see determination cross her features.
''I can only tell you this without words.'' Lauren whispers and my breath hitches. I feel like I'm bursting into flames, my heart thumping wildly in my chest to fight for its freedom behind my ribs. I see her move closer to me, her eyes travelling down to my lips before shooting back up to mine.
There is so much love radiating from her and I feel myself leaning in towards her as well. I can't hear anything other than the beating of my own heart and the heavy breath that leaves Lauren's lips. She's so close, her scent makes me dizzy with desire and the heat from her body so close to mine clouds my mind completely.
And then her eyes close, mine respond in the same way and I feel her lips press against mine carefully. I feel her pause after she kisses me so carefully, waiting for my response and anxious to see if I move away.
But it dawns on me that I don't want to move away at all. If anything, I only want her closer to me and not let her go anymore. So it's my turn to lean into her and reconnect our lips in a firmer kiss this time, letting her know that my mind is in the exact same place she is.
I feel her kiss me back immediately, her hand now pulling me closer to her at the back of my head and I let myself sink into her completely. Electricity runs through every nerve I have, almost making me shiver from the intensity of her kisses.
Any restraint, any doubt or fear has left my body, I hear nothing else than our breaths between intense kisses and I feel her all around me. My whole world is Lauren and I know that that won't change anymore.
After a few more minutes I need to pull away. My body is too hot and my breath has been completely stolen away from me. But more importantly, the grin of pure happiness on my face makes it impossible for me to keep kissing her and I see the same grin etched onto Lauren's face when I open my eyes.
Lauren chuckles and shakes her head, her eyes glowing in the dimmed room. ''Who would've thought...'' she starts and I look at her with a curious smile.
''That this wouldn't just be a reunion.'' She finishes and I can't help but smile at her before diving forward into her welcoming arms and kissing her again.
She falls back on the couch, me landing on top of her and she kisses me back with so much passion and love that my head spins and I completely lose control over my body. Love and lust are taking over right now.
But when I pull away from our kiss, stare into her beautiful eyes and lean in to burry my head against her neck and feel her arms tighten in a grip that won't let me go anytime soon; I realize one thing.
In these arms... I'm home.
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AN: Well, there's the second part!
Hope you enjoyed the story, let me know in the comments what you think.
Have a great day!
- Giny