Chapter two: You'll Regret Knowing me
♥ ▸⚬☉⚬◂ ♥
The world is so empty. If one thinks only of mountains, rivers, and cities; but to know someone who thinks and feels with us, and who was Daniel to sense what I did that day.
If we could see the miracle of a single flower, think about how clear we would be able to see many things, but nope. We're too stubborn for that and it's truly rare. I sat at the table messing around with my peas as I held onto my fork like It was my lifeline... JUST PULL THE PUG DOC! I dramatically thought.
It seemed like death the way I stared in the distance not eating. More like thinking... still thinking about why I have that overflow of feelings towards him, for him long ago. The time has taken me away from the age of the period... Freshman year. Fifteen years old and there he was pulling my eyesight in his direction. We shared one class, one and he held so much power.
I honestly wasn't prepared that day. He really shook me that day, sixth period the teacher had me pass out our assignments for the class period and it made me uneasy from my head to toes especially walking up to Daniel that looked my way a couple of times before handing out the paper to the table full of people.
"Thanks, Renesmee," he said, with a shining devious smile. Reaching out to grab the stack instead he grabs my hand and glances up at me with that same smile. Walking away and sitting down he became a lot stranger throughout that day.
How did he say my name so well?
As strange as it was I wasn't so comfortable with him or anyone else the matter of fact calling me by my name. It points me out in a crowd but it also makes lots of people come to me asking how to say it right and it only annoys me more. I didn't have time to give them lessons on how to say it or the definition behind it so I made up a nickname for everyone, Ren.
Ren was simple, easy and no one asked the meaning behind it except for the teachers that asked me why I wanted them to call me Ren instead but after a while, they started calling me that where everyone just thought it was my real name and I didn't care. Though, the people close to me would still call me by my birth name.
Believe this when I say it. I don't have the easiest name for people to pronoun correctly for the first try. Yes, it was weird and strange but it only made me more curious about him. I was getting sucked into something I might have to fight off one day. And today, this year would be it. Junior year, I would have never imagined being in those fighting days again then... "if the storm falls in my heart. If I live like an old ship then so be it and when I mean old ship I mean I'll live in the past."
"Where have you been?" I asked, Thetic.
She broke my trance taking a seat next to me again and I didn't notice her presence was even gone. My energetic friend seemed to be in a panic. As I stared at her waiting for the very not so important response. She took forever to get the words out, "What's up with you?"
"Uh, what's up with me, nothing? What's up with you!"
The frown on my face appeared and my wandering eyes went back and forth to Thetic and tray of food I still haven't touched, drawing up a defense against what other questions she had for me.
"You sat there this whole time and haven't touched your food."
"I don't feel like it."
"You don't feel like eating, WOWOW. We both know that's a load of crap."
"It's not bothering me," I shrugged my shoulders, "but if it bothers you so much how about you eat it."
Pushing the tray to Thetic she only pushed it back and somehow we ended up in the tug of war. Then the boom went off along with the bell ringing and Jessica shouting at us, she was usually the quiet one of our group so when we heard her shout, "Stop being such children!"
I swear Thetic and I looked at each other and laughed.
"Ok, laugh it up. Who's going to clean this up?"
While the crowd of students steps over the tray of food on the floor. Thetic and I looked at each other once more, "Not it," I clearly say first.
But she downright augers with me about it at the same time. So instead, I grabbed my backpack and bolted with the crowd of students while turning around with the biggest goofy face teasing her as I left her there to clean it up.
She clearly made the mess and I wasn't to blame for, though, it seemed clear enough this was all my fault. Therefore, I bumped into him again. Uh, how annoying! Daniel gave me a cold stare that only made me want to give him one right back, so hell, I did! With a piss off expression as I ran off down the hall to class.
-
One night in the morning, you will lose your horror they say and I call that BULL! Since that day Daniel has been a total dick with teasing me, bullying me. Damn whatever you just thought, he did. I can't count how many horrors I have had dealing with him. It confuses me and I haven't been off once because I'm trying to be the bigger person, the one that doesn't play his games and until he gets tired and doesn't get a reaction from me I think I would be just fine. Fuck, no! Excuse my language but Daniel gets my temper to the boiling point and I think I just might lose it but I can tell you what I have noticed.
Every time Thetic is around he's on his best behavior which is something I can and will use against him. I became very observant of him for the past two years then I stopped since he became the school's biggest playboy. That thing that happened in sixth period was him just testing his game with girls and I was his bait which made me look down on him, though, two years went fast and he went through the girls like crazy. If he wasn't with you he was with another chick desperate for his attention.
Why is that? Did every girl in high school get those same exact vibes I did? When I think about it with those girls and me there is a huge difference, they sleep it up with him while I don't. With a smile across my face I got ready for twin day at school, it might be the three of us but Jessica doesn't do this, it isn't her thing so only me and Thetic will be looking like twins and it wouldn't be the first people thought we were. We drove to school together and just when we got there and went our separate ways to get to class. I walked up the ramp that's outside the school and entered the building when I unexpectedly got pulled inside the janitor's closet.
I stopped breathing, I hundred percent stopped breathing in those 20 seconds of my young life. Someone grabbed my arms tightly, shoving me into the shelf and smashing their lips into mine. I completely freaked outstanding there in peer darkness getting kissed by a person I couldn't see nor knew. We struggled a bit till I got this person off of me and there was this scent that smelled familiar but the mixer of the cleaning supplies threw me off.
The lights surprisingly turned on. I squinted and rubbed my eyes, "Ren. Ren, what the hell?" The familiar voice came first and I haven't opened my eyes yet.
"Daniel?" I questioned recognizing the voice, "Me what the hell, you what the hell!" I said, opening my eyes, "Why the hell are you manhandling me in a closet!"
"It wasn't supposed to be you."
"Still, no one will excuse you for manhandling them."
"You wanna bet."
"Screw it, forget I asked."
"It's already history," he says, rolling his eyes.
We stood there in silence with me crossing my arms against my chest, faking a cough to get his attention. Daniel looked up to me being a weirdo but I didn't care much, "It's okay for you to leave."
"I'm not coughing to break this silence more as waiting for your apology so please go on, " I say, with the expectation of me getting a real apology this time and yea, he kissed me. I think I deserve one.
"No can do."
"What! I don't remember giving you consent to kiss me and if you don't, I believe this gives me the right to kick your ass, how about them apples."
"You don't have to be so hostile! It was a mistake and still, there is no way I'm apologizing to you when you still haven't as well."
"Whatever Daniel. Are you still going to stand there and act like you didn't start this and may I just say you have been picking on me for a couple of days now. Soooo, WHERE'S THE TRUTH, huh?"
My anger was sky high and I was proud of myself to let him know that he's been getting on my last nerves and it seemed to be getting through to him, I think, "Alright, alright! " Daniel aggressively huffs out, "Just stop being a pest."
"ME! A pest? Oh, you just don't know how big of a pest you are..oh no the BIGGEST PLAYBOY you are and you're calling me a pest you have another thing coming fuckboy and let me tell you this, you don't even know me to be saying such things, OK!"
"And what gives you the right to assume things about me! You don't know me Renesmee and don't stand there thinking you do because you'll regret it, " Daniel said, in such a heavy voice dark and cold I almost became speechless by the way he stepped forward with this anger that could tell me he has been holding.
My body was saying run for the hills but not before giving him the finger or swearing or just kicking him in the balls for kissing me, though, my mind was stronger than my body on being a bitch to the guy I believe I just pissed off and hurt his feelings. Shit maybe not. He didn't really make it easy on things I absolutely wanted to know. Spite all the things I said I knew there was this thing in the back of my head knowing he still had this mystery I wanted to know... almost like I needed to know. I shook my head looking at the guy dressed in black with silver hair that glows.
Then he stares and his eyes are dark but not red. This small closest said a lot that it made me say, "What's there to regret?"
Daniel snickered, making each step in those expensive shoes come closer, stretching his arm pass my head and into the shelf behind me, leaning in to whisper, "You'll see and when you do, stay away from me," he said, disappearing just like his words that were in the air.
What is there I need to see? And when will I be able to see it? After two years I haven't seen anything out of the blue but importantly why did I need to stay away from him?
Things weren't coming up very clear and the more the day went on I became even more clueless to figure out who Daniel really was, or the person he put out for people to see, the person he wanted to hide and not show his weakness. But why? How come every time I stared into those icy eyes he had wounds, he also had wounds from his past, I didn't dare touch, though, the thought if I did I might've made it worse that I didn't ask who gave it to him or not.
I walked the halls almost lifeless thinking it and in hope for him to tell me but I was no one to him for Daniel to tell me, it's not like he trusted me.
And how grateful Renesmee should have thought then because trust gets you killed.
There were many moments passing by Daniel in the halls and I didn't have the courage to ask but it wasn't like he was looking me in the eye, I believe he avoided me and yes, it hurt. I didn't look away because it did, to try understanding him in the closet, every moment I got to look, I did.
Sadly Thetic noticed her close friend always looking Daniel's way and she became curious. She watched her friend very closely for that past couple of days and she knew he was bullying Renesmee and she hated that Renesmee didn't tell her about it so she went ahead and handled it herself.
© Ren Sherman Nonfiction
2020