~~To No One's Standard But Her Own~~
Kendrick Lamar's Pray for me blared through the speakers in a dance hall where the dance crew Light 'Em Up were dancing on an elevated platform surrounded by a crowd of what looked like mostly young college students throwing their hands up and cheering wildly as they performed. To the right of the platform was a table where four older looking people, but still seemed to drip with the same swag as the young people, sat looking onto the crew surveying them with interest, two of them were bopping their head rhythmically to the beat smiling widely as they danced.
Aaliyah and Blair were watching from Aaliyah's bed back in Manhattan. Marcus' older brother FaceTimed Blair's phone and they were seeing their performance through his camera since the girls couldn't travel to New Jersey to watch their performance in person. They were stuck having to attend Madison's small single-release party. Blair argued relentlessly with her father, but he wouldn't budge saying that they had to show their support for Madison's success, and it was in part Aaliyah's success too. Blair insisted that since it was just a small gathering, it's not like it's that important that they be there to entertain a bunch of stuck-up snobs, Madison, and annoying reporters. She also made the point that Madison has had a million single-release parties before. In truth, she'd only had about three, but that didn't suit Blair's dramatic flair. Malcolm then made the point that this was the first one Madison was having signed to Soul Fusion, so it was just as important for them both to be here.
Aaliyah understood, especially since she was on the song too, and Malcolm had said that it would be good for Aaliyah to get some experience with this part of the job, and make the right connections in the industry. She still wasn't entirely happy that she wasn't going to be able to see Light 'Em Up's audition in person. Jacks had been disappointed too, which only made her feel bad, but they agreed to meet later for their first date, and she had shown up to every single one of his dance practices in the last week to show her support. Aaliyah reassured him that she would be able to see his other performances too since she didn't doubt that he wouldn't get into the competition.
Aaliyah watched with fascination and pride and glee as she cheered with Blair as they danced, each movement coordinated and fluid and telling a story. It was beautiful. West was in the front and led the group with his expert body movements, and they were all amazing. The screen was huge so Aaliyah could see everything from Zenith's bright pink braids whipping around to go with her pink cargo pants, to the looks on the judges' faces. Aaliyah grinned as she looked to Blair beside her, "The judges look happy." She observed.
Blair laughed, punching Aaliyah lightly. "Of course they do," She said excitedly, "They're amazing!"
Aaliyah had to agree, her eyes found Jacks, and could only stare completely entranced by his movements. He was out of his usual huge shirt and sweatpants for the audition, dripping with style thanks to Blair in a black longline long-sleeved top that showed off his lean muscles that rippled and flexed with each precise movement under his top and cargo pants paired with white Jordans. He looked great. And his movements made it hard for her to take her eyes off of him, it was beautiful. He was truly a talented dancer, and Aaliyah remembered his words from a few weeks ago when they were on the balcony, "dancing to me is like your music, it's how I communicate the way I feel to the world when everything else fails me." Aaliyah couldn't help but feel all of that when she watched him.
When the song wound down, and they pulled their finishing move, and Christian did a backflip that landed in the middle of the group, huddled in the middle together with different poses. The crowd roared with appreciation and Aaliyah and Blair screamed with them screaming their support the way they wished they could in New Jersey.
The judges must have felt the same way because they had only sung their praises before telling the group that they were going through into the competition making Blair and Aaliyah squeal in delight as they jumped up and down on her bed in excitement. Moments later, she heard someone call Blair's name through the speaker. "Blair!" She realized it was Marcus' brother, Oliver. Blair picked up her phone from the top of Aaliyah's pillows and they huddled over the phone to see Oliver's face through the screen as he moved through the crowd to the front.
Once he managed to wade through the crowd, the boy called out to the group on the platform gesturing to the phone and the girls waved towards them as they rushed to the edge and grabbed the phone. The group must have been fighting for the phone because the view was shaking between people and Aaliyah heard slight jabs thrown at each other. Aaliyah looked to Blair with identical looks before they laughed. "Did you love us?!" Christian yelled through the phone, and then his nostrils came up to view and Aaliyah blanched at the sight.
"Chris back up, we can see the jungle up your nostrils," Blair said with a laugh. Zenith snapped something cold before snatching the phone so that they saw her face painted brightly with glitter eyeshadow and blush and highlighter. She looked amazing, "Damn, you look a fashion diva, Z. Who did your makeup?"
Zenith rolled her eyes. "Someone, I have no idea. She gave me her Instagram in case I wanted her to do my face up again, but like that's not going to happen. I can barely blink."
Aaliyah smiled. "Well, I think you look great."
"Anyway, enough about the cookie monster here," Jacks interrupted taking the phone off of Zenith, who replied by hitting the back of his head. He sat down on the edge of the stage, "What did you think?"
Aaliyah knew what he was asking. Jacks could have received the best compliments from the most influential people in the dance world, but it wouldn't mean anything to him if the people he loved didn't feel the same. Aaliyah understood that more than anything, and she knew that Blair knew too. "What? You couldn't hear us screaming all the way from Manhattan?" She answered with a wide grin, "You're going to owe me for the sore throat I'm going to wake up with tomorrow."
Jacks grinned and started laughing. Aaliyah smiled, her heart warm. "You were amazing, Jacks. All of you guys were. If you don't win this competition, I will personally go over and murder the judges in a heartbeat."
Jacks' smile widened. "I'll let them know," He said dropping a wink at them, and blue eyes somehow seemed brighter, like sapphire, and caught the light at all angles. Then they softened only a little, "I wish you were here." He said, his head cocked slightly as he looked at Aaliyah, and she couldn't help but blush and smile back.
"I'm there in spirit," She said gently, ignoring her fluttering heart, "Promise."
"And I'm just not here at all," Blair announced, and Aaliyah looked at Blair with a laugh flushing darkly again. She groaned loudly, "Is this what it's going to be like? Me third-wheeling you two? That sounds awful."
"Of course not," Jacks scoffed, "If anything, Aaliyah will third-wheel. You know you're my number one cheerleader."
Aaliyah rolled her eyes, and Blair cheered. Jacks laughed and caught Aaliyah's gaze as he mouthed a 'no' and Aaliyah smiled, her stomach flipping in her ribcage. "I'll see you later tonight then," He said dropping a wink before he turned to look behind him when he heard Eunice call him a simp and then the call ended.
After that, Blair jumped off of Aaliyah's bed and she followed suit. "So, this dreaded party from hell is starting in just under two hours, and dad wants us to look amazing of course, so let's get to work."
Aaliyah sighed and fell back onto her bed. Since Malcolm had told them about the small gathering they were going to have at the Water's penthouse, Blair had more or less convinced her that tonight was going to be a night from hell. The board will be there, as well as Madison and her family, a few other important people in the music industry, all of which Blair had ensured would just be another bunch of upper-class Conservatives who have no idea of the term fun. She wasn't entirely looking forward to socializing with these people, but Aaliyah knew that it would probably be important.
Jenny came into the room. And the girls looked to her curiously, "Hey Jen," Aaliyah said waving at her sullenly, before staring back up at the ceiling.
Jenny turned to Blair with a raised brow. "What's with Lia?"
"She's been hit with the realization that tonight is going to suck balls." Blair answered with a sigh, running a hand through her hair, "Tonight is going to suck, Aaliyah, but it is important. Dad was right about that. This gives you the chance to see on a low scale what the life of a performer is like, most of the attention would probably be on the queen bitch, but you'll definitely get some since you're new to Soul Fusion. Plus in part, this release party is for you too since you're on the song."
Aaliyah groaned aloud again, and then she felt a weight on the bed beside her. She turned to her right, to see Jenny staring at her with a grin. "My mom is cooking the food for tonight. So as much as the people will suck, the food won't."
Aaliyah couldn't fight her smile, and she nudged Jenny's shoulder. She didn't spend as much time with Jenny as she did with Blair, but she loved hanging out with her when she did. She was fun, and sarcastic, and a lot less maintenance than Blair. "That is a very good point." She observed before sitting up, looking at Blair with a grin. "Okay Blair, I'm ready. Do your worst."
Blair snorted rolling her eyes. "As if I have a 'worst'."
The girls had come down over an hour later, just before the first guests started showing up, and Aaliyah, like always, was put in higher spirits after Blair came up with the perfect outfit for Aaliyah's first release party—a floral patterned teal green silk chemise that clung to her bodice like it was made for her and probably the most expensive black strappy heels Aaliyah had ever seen. Blair had also done her makeup, matching her eyeshadow to her dress perfectly, the soft hue of pink to match the flowers on her dress glossed over by the hair store lip gloss, Sol gave her, blended perfectly into her skin and bringing out the green of her hazel eyes more, and her nude-colored lipgloss lined with a dark brown making her mouth look fuller. A YouTube video had given Aaliyah the inspiration for her hair, which was three crossed cornrows at the side of her head letting the rest of her curls flounce around her shoulders softly, and her golden chain sat gracefully around her throat as it usually did, along with the golden hoops she borrowed from Blair. Blair had also transformed herself and her sister for the night and Aaliyah couldn't help but be completely awed by them.
Blair sported a co-ord black sunflower halter crop top and a chiffon floor-length skirt paired with her hair up in a chignon bun so that attention was drawn to her smokey eye makeup, making her green eyes seem brighter and maroon colored lips. Jenny looked a little older too in her floral frilled hem cold shoulder blouse paired with a white skater skirt and pink ballet flats to go with the pink floral patterns. Her makeup was much more subtle, as she insisted, and she only wore lip gloss and mascara. Blair begged her to let her at least do her eyebrows since they seemed scruffier than a homeless dog, but she wouldn't budge much to Blair's dismay, but Aaliyah managed to calm her down.
Malcolm gushed over his daughters when he saw them come out from the hallway. He was talking to the wait staff as their mother was just coming out of the kitchen looking gorgeous with her hair up in a chignon and a champagne wrap dress. "You two look beautiful," He continued, "Where does the time go? It's like just yesterday that Jen was just getting out of diapers."
Jenny made a face but didn't comment, but Blair laughed. "You sound like the corniest father of the year, dad."
Malcolm laughed, his smile proud and loving and Aaliyah couldn't help but smile fondly. "And I bear that award proudly," He said before looking onto Aaliyah with a proud smile, "And that's my future face of Soul Fusion. You look beautiful too."
Aaliyah smiled bashfully and she opened her mouth to say thank you when Willa approached the group with a kind smile, but Aaliyah thought she saw a sense of bitterness. "You all look great," She said, wrapping her hand around Malcolm's arm. She looked at Aaliyah with a surprised expression, "You're not going to do something to your hair?"
Aaliyah blinked, subconsciously reaching to touch her hair as though there was something in it. "But I did," Aaliyah said, "Oh no, does it look bad? I hadn't actually done cornrows before." She said self-consciously.
Willa smiled charmingly and shook her head. "No, it looks lovely," She said and then hesitated, "I just thought you would do something different. Like maybe straighten it."
"No," She answered with a frown, "Why would I?"
Blair rolled her eyes hard and scoffed softly, and Aaliyah looked at her in alarm, but she wasn't looking at her, instead, she was scowling at her mother. Jenny tightened her lips together turning her head away, and Malcolm seemed as though he was bracing himself for an explosion. Willa seemed to not have noticed any of this and continued talking. "It's just that this may not be like a huge event, but it is an important one. There's a certain impression you want to portray here—"
Aaliyah narrowed her eyes. "And what impression does my hair give?"
"Mom, don't you understand how you sound right now?" Blair demanded her face flustered and her green eyes bright. Willa looked to her astonished, and Aaliyah could only stare as the gravity of Willa's words settled in her stomach making her feel nauseous. Her blood burning right under the surface of her skin as she reeled herself in, knowing that she couldn't let her anger get the better of her tonight. It was hard though, and on top of her anger, her anxiety for tonight felt cranked up to a ten. Her stomach flipped, "You sound just like the people we're going to be forced to entertain before the single drops. No offense, dad."
Malcolm wrapped an arm around Willa's side and squeezed gently. "I think Aaliyah looks lovely," She said, "And she gives the impression she wants to give to the world according to no one's standard but her own."
"Preach," Jenny said raising her fist up above her head and Aaliyah couldn't help but feel mortified by the sight and she looked away, feeling the backs of her eyes burning, and her cheeks flushing not wanting to cause a scene.
"Could you excuse me for a moment?" She said in a low voice, stepping away from the balcony where they stood and back down the hallway, "I need to use the bathroom," She murmured not waiting for anyone's response, her stomach roiling as though she was about to throw up.
She locked herself in the bathroom next to the staircase and stumbled towards the bathroom sink, still not used to wearing such high heels. She gripped the sink and stared at herself in the mirror as though trying to remember what she looked like. Dark brown skin and huge, tight curly hair that she had so much trouble with every morning when she was getting ready for school, but if she was being honest since she started doing more with it she had started to learn to love her hair, it was one of the things she loved most about her appearance and Blair was always going on about how much she would kill for hair like hers. For that moment she forgot about what most of the world thought about hair like hers.
Aaliyah hadn't been exposed to comments like that before or racism in general. Most of the people she grew up around, her foster parents, and Lauryn and Mr. Gonzalez were all people of color. She had a few, but very brief interactions, and only one that really had any significance, since it involved the police, but other than that, Aaliyah mostly only read about it racism in history books through slavery to the civil war and rights or saw it in the news, or overheard customers talking about it with Mr. Gonzalez. Lauryn wasn't all that vocal about her problems with race, but she had an idea that she had her fair share of the experience.
If Aaliyah was being honest, the Waters and Jacks were the first white people Aaliyah had, had a real relationship with and they had always been great to her, maybe not as much with Willa, who still made sure she was stuck with a breakfast bar every morning she would cook something egg-based, just to spite her. Maybe that's why Willa disliked her so much. Maybe that's why the board disliked her so much, who Blair had once said were a bunch of corporate Republican asses.
Even that was frustrating, now that Aaliyah thought about it. She remembered Jenny just now, how she raised her fist as though she was in league with Aaliyah, and what she went through. Blair was the same, seemingly in contempt with the board, and the people she was around almost every day. But their mother was one of the people she spoke about, whether she realized it or not. How understanding of her experience could they even be if they're so close to the people they scorned? They could be as mocking as they wanted to be, but they lived the same lives they did.
Thinking about that was suddenly a lot more sobering for Aaliyah. Because even though she knew all of this, was she willing to walk away? She had formed relationships with people here, she cared about them, despite the ignorance, the bubble of wealth and privilege secured them in. And whether she liked it or not, her future was here too. Was she willing to give that up too? She didn't have as many options as she would have liked now, but she supposed that was also part of the problem. Her lack of security. But what did that make her? If she was willing to put herself over others this way.
Aaliyah had dealt with her fair share of people in this city who had been difficult with her, but she never thought that her difficulty with people would be the whole world which is filled with people who share those views. Aaliyah wondered if Xavier ever had to deal with comments and bullshit like this. She wanted to ask how he would deal with them because she couldn't lock herself in the bathroom every time someone would throw an off-hand and disrespectful comment. She refused to show weakness like that. She refused to let someone like Willa make her feel less than her, just to assuage her own clear deep-rooted insecurities.
She breathed in deeply, looking back to her reflection in the mirror; brown skin and tight curls that she finally learned to embrace. Curls that she learned to love and use to show who she was. She remembered what Blair had said once, "your style should tell people a story about you, like your music. It should show people who you are at your best."
Aaliyah let herself smile a little before standing up straight in the mirror. "Show the world who you are, no more, no less," She murmured to herself, and then she remembered Malcolm's words, "show who you are to no one's standards but your own." And with that, she turned and left the bathroom with her chin up and a smile along her lips.
Guests had already started to arrive, Madison and her manager along with what Aaliyah assumed were her parents had arrived along with a few others Aaliyah didn't recognize. It became very clear to her that she was the only black girl in the room at that moment and she took a deep breath, "No more, no less." She muttered to herself before she approached the growing crowd at the front of the room by the elevator. Blair noticed her first and she hurried up to her, touching her arm gently. Aaliyah smiled reassuringly at her worried look, "I'm good. Let's just get this hell party over with."
Blair didn't seem convinced but she smiled anyway. "There's something you should probably know as well—"
"Aaliyah!" It was Madison, flouncing over to her in a white cold shoulder corset top with a low sweetheart neckline so that her full chest was well exposed with sheer flared sleeves and blue denim short skirt. Silver dangle earrings, as well as two studs, lined her ears elegantly and a matching silver necklace sat comfortably on her neck and her makeup seemed to make her more porcelain than usual, and her bright red lips were stark against her flawless skin. Aaliyah's eyes were blown wide when she held her hands with a smile that made her feel slightly uncomfortable, "You look great! And I love what you did with your hair—" She exclaimed reaching to touch her cornrows, but Aaliyah dodged her hand subtly.
"Thanks, Madison," She answered, slightly unnerved by her excitement. She supposed it made sense since today was her single release, but didn't Blair say that she had, had a million of these before, "You look nice too."
Blair looked at Madison incredulously. "Did you mix something in your laxatives or something, Madison? Crack perhaps?" She mocked with a frosty voice.
Madison rolled her eyes. "I can't be happy that my song is dropping on time, because Aaliyah finally managed to hit a note without you killing it, can I?"
Blair darkened and Aaliyah had, had just about enough of this kind of bullshit from Madison and she was just about to tell her when a woman with tight squinted features and bright red hair like Madison approached the girls with a bright smile. "How's one of my favorite nieces?" Said the woman, and Aaliyah blinked wondering who she was talking about.
Blair pulled a tight smile. "She's wondering how her second favorite Aunt is doing." She said, before reaching between Madison and Aaliyah to give her a small hug. She looked over to Aaliyah with a grimace, who returned it with wide eyes. "When I was telling you about Madison I may have forgotten to mention that she was my cousin."
"Forgotten?" Aaliyah echoed with a dubious brow. She didn't blame her, if she had a cousin like Madison, she wouldn't want to talk about it either. She pulled a tinny smile wondering if she did have cousins at all. Or even siblings.
Madison's mother, and apparently Blair's Aunt laughed delightfully and shook her head. "These two are always at each other's throats, I'm not surprised," She said waving a dismissive hand. Aaliyah didn't think that that was something someone laughed at, but she didn't comment on it, "I'm Rochelle, but Aunt Rochelle to Blair of course, you can call me either. You must be Aaliyah. Madison's told me about you."
Aaliyah couldn't help but grimace as she shook her hand. "Good things hopefully?"
Rochelle only raised her shoulder still smiling. "Well she told me about how you just hopped onto the song we're here for today at the last minute," She said in a chipper voice, though Aaliyah didn't miss the passive-aggressive tone she took with her. Great so she's just like her daughter, Aaliyah thought angrily, "But other than that, she told me that you were a talented singer."
Aaliyah smiled and nodded calmly, "Well, I suppose it's for the rest of the world to decide now."
"Only two hours left," Rochelle said excitedly before Willa had approached them with an agitated look, and Rochelle smiled, "Oh right, I said I'd help you in the kitchen. Sisters right? So demanding."
Aaliyah grinned. "You don't know the half of it," She said before glancing over her shoulder at Blair who's grin was just as wide, glee shining in her eyes. Aaliyah realized that this was the first time she had ever really referred to Blair as her sister, and she realized just how right that term felt in her heart.
"So, when were you going to tell me that you and Madison are cousins?" Aaliyah taunted with a smile, as she leaned against the sofa beside Blair.
They were both taking a much-needed break from socializing with the guests that had come soon after Madison arrived. She had been pushed to talk to the board members and shareholders, to the few reporters that had shown up for the night, who were way too up-front with their questions completely astounding Aaliyah speechless the first time. Malcolm had been by her side to back her up, which she was thankful for, and she quickly managed to get the hang of the reporters' storm of quick-fire questions. Madison had been snarky as usual dropping not-so-supportive comments every now and then, and slowly she was starting to lose it, and she knew that if she lost her shit here, she'd only give the board more reason to dislike her. They loved Madison, she was their golden egg, and Aaliyah was merely just a disturbance. She would let them know exactly what she was.
She just wished that didn't also include having to tolerate Madison.
Blair sighed picking up two glasses of gold bubbly liquid from the tray of a passing waiter. She nodded graciously at him before she handed one to Aaliyah. She took a sip from her glass, her eyes narrowed on something, in particular, Aaliyah followed her gaze and realized it was on Madison. A slow curl played at the corner of her mouth as she talked to a boy, she couldn't see. He had his back to her, but he was definitely tall, and broad-shouldered, with a buzzcut fade. Madison was clearly flirting, Aaliyah thought, as she watched her tease with her smile, taunting hand gestures. She was a pro, Aaliyah had to admit, in between classes she'd witnessed Madison on her game, she had most of the boys in school wrapped around her finger, Aaliyah wondered if she even cared about any of them.
"She slept with my ex," Blair breathed out, her eyes dark as she stared. Aaliyah's heart stuttered when she realized what she had told her and she looked at her with wide eyes. Blair met her gaze, "Madison," She said with a grimace, her lips pressed firmly together, the corners of her mouth whitened.
"Seriously?" She demanded, completely taken aback, and she looked back to Madison.
Blair shrugged insouciantly, but waves of tension rolled off of her making Aaliyah's stomach tighten in several knots. "It was a year ago, Sophomore year." She explained monotonously, taking another long sip of her drink, "Before then we were close, almost best friends I guess, but then her career took off, and I guess the rest of her personality did too. She wasn't even sorry, either. I still remember what she said to me when I confronted her about it. She told me to "get over myself" and that I "clearly wasn't enough for him," and other bullshit like that."
Aaliyah clenched her hands into fists tightly, working her jaw as her blood boiled with anger. "That's awful," She commented, making her face, before looking back to Blair with a soft look, "What about the boy?"
The bitter look on Blair's face seemed to get worse, and her lips curled up in a sour smile. And she extended the hand she had the glass in towards the boy that was talking to Madison. "That's him there." She said tightly, "He's a Senior like you and Jacks, but he goes to a private school. His dad is one of the board members."
Aaliyah sucked in a breath. "How could he even come here?" She hissed in a cold voice, glaring at the pair as though she hoped she could bore a hole through the pair of them. They stood there in front of Blair flaunting her pain like it was a prize right in front of her. How cruel.
"Because he can't tell his father no," Blair answered simply. Aaliyah turned to look at her inquiringly, "My parents didn't know that we ever even dated. I tried to keep us dating under wraps, but of course, Madison and Jacks, being the closest to me at the time knew, Sol and Chris too. Even when I broke up with him, we still had to pretend as though nothing had changed."
Aaliyah sagged her shoulders, leaning back against the sofa again and she wondered what that would have been like, Blair, Jacks, and Madison as friends. Blair with a boyfriend, when she seemed like the type of person who resented that type of commitment to anyone, or anything. She supposed she knew why she was like that now anyway. Aaliyah couldn't help the pang in her heart at the thought, giving your heart to someone wasn't anything short of terrifying, because you are giving that someone permission to break it if they wanted to, and the only thing you could do afterward, is trying to pick up the pieces and glue yourself back together. Though the cracks would always be there.
Aaliyah thought she could see Blair's cracks now, and she sighed sadly, taking a sip of her drink and then pulled it back staring widely at the suddenly alien drink. Blair saw her look and started laughing. "I'm guessing you've never had champagne before," She said.
Aaliyah shook her head, flushing darkly as she met Blair's gaze. "I've never had alcohol before," She answered.
Blair cocked a brow before downing the rest of her drink. "Seriously? No drugs, no alcohol. Damn, what did you do for fun?" She said, reaching for Aaliyah's drink, but Aaliyah took it out of her reach with a teasing smile. Blair glowered.
"Things," She said taking another sip of the champagne. It was sharp and nipped her tastebuds, but it ran down her throat like silk, and it smelled sweet and fruity. She thought that this could definitely be something she'd get used to. Over the rim of her glass, she caught Xavier's gaze. He had been talking to Uriah the last time she saw him, and she had been trying to keep tabs on his whereabouts since she realized he was here, not entirely sure as to why. He was difficult to spot though, despite obvious differences, he slinked around the room disappearing from sight, but he was still now. Leaning in the doorway that led to the dining room, he had a champagne glass in his hand too. He was dressed in a classic black turtleneck and wine red plaid pants paired with black Italian shoes. Aaliyah was a little startled by the sight. He was always in Jordans, she thought, seeing him wear anything else was a little weird.
Blair must have caught her stare. "So, how are things with Xavier?"
Aaliyah wasn't surprised that she had found a way to deflect the subject off of her, Blair had a gift. She thought that for now, she wouldn't push the topic. "He's still an ass if that's what you're asking," She snorted, rolling her eyes, taking her gaze away from him, "I'm going to talk to him." She announced to Blair, who stared at her with a suspicious look.
"Alright," She said, snatching the glass from Aaliyah and taking a small swig of it. Aaliyah glowered at her, but Blair grinned around the rim of her glass, her green eyes sparkling with mock, she made a shooing gesture with her hand in Xavier's direction, "Have fun."
Aaliyah rolled her eyes before she started towards Xavier, who she knew had noticed her too. He had a look, not unlike Blair's, his gaze was squinted as he watched her approach him until she stopped in front of him. The corner of his mouth lifted up, "So she told you about Maddox then?" He started, and Aaliyah blinked before it clicked in her brain and she spared a quick glance where she had found Madison and the boy talking. Madison had disappeared though, and it was just him. From here, Aaliyah could see his face and she thought he looked devastating. He was gorgeous, with honey brown eyes behind Ray-Ban glasses and fringed by long dark lashes and dark thick brows and full pink lips. He was staring up at a family portrait completely expressionless, Aaliyah wondered what he looked like when he smiled.
Aaliyah looked back to Xavier with a sigh and raised a brow at him. "Did Blair tell you too?"
"No," He said frankly, "She didn't. But I knew anyway."
"Okay." She said, trying to change the subject, "Anyway—"
"You're not going to ask me what I know?" Xavier demanded, his dark smoldering eyes mocking her, mirth shining in them, "We knew each other pretty well."
Aaliyah narrowed her eyes. "What does pretty well mean to you, Xavier? Because I don't think anyone really knows all that much about you."
Xavier smirked. "I could say the same for you." He took a sip of his champagne looking her up and down, observing her thoughtfully, "You look nice."
Aaliyah stared taken aback before she shook her head furiously. "I know that Blair can decide when she wants to tell me anything about it, without me going to other people behind her back," She answered, "And that's not why I'm here."
Xavier cocked his head slightly. With her heels, their height difference wasn't so startling, but she was still clearly shorter than him. She noticed he had changed his usual hoop piercing for a small stud. She couldn't help but stare at it for a while, as it intrigued her. Blair had told her once about all her piercings, apparently, she had gotten her first one at the same time as him. She remembered her foster parents, she didn't have a doubt in her mind that they wouldn't have liked Xavier. He was the epitome of rebellion, all tattoos, and piercings, and scowls. Danica and Quincy were far too conservative for that.
Xavier Adams looked like the brooding type she read about in novels; the daredevil boys that would burn a house down for kicks and then light a joint as it burned. Aaliyah never felt drawn to those types of boys in books, even though the focus was always on them. Brooding was attractive, Aaliyah would admit, but the notoriety had never appealed to her. It was why she knew that Xavier truly wasn't the poster boy for notoriety and parties as the tabloids painted him. "So why are you here?" He asked in a low, slightly velvety voice.
Aaliyah squinted at him suspiciously. She couldn't help but wonder if he was up to something. "Before we go back to the studio on Monday," She said slowly staring at him evenly, "I thought I should tell you that I don't want to work on four walls. I want to work on something new."
Xavier raised a brow. "Okay," He agreed slowly, "Can I ask on what?"
Aaliyah bit down on her bottom lip anxiously, and she looked around to see if anyone was hearing before she looked back to him. "Honestly, aside from you and me, are there any other artists signed to Soul Fusion that aren't white?" She asked in a low voice as she looked around again.
Xavier's expression was somber and he raised his shoulders. "You would be about the thirtieth POC woman to be signed here. Out of over three hundred and fifty artists. There are about forty men."
Aaliyah swallowed, feeling her stomach bottom out and she looked around again. "I wasn't really all that used to dealing with ignorance much before I came here," She said in a soft voice, her gaze finding Willa as she spoke animatedly to a group of people she didn't recognize, "It's strange and maddening."
"Lucky for you," Xavier said, his voice cool, and when Aaliyah met his stare again, her mouth dried up. His mouth was curled upwards in an easy smile, but Aaliyah thought she could see the tightness in his jaw, and Aaliyah wondered how much abuse he had shouldered in all his years. How much he had taken in stride, how much he had let break him a little. She wondered why he was on this break from music. What happened to him? "Is that what you want your song to be about?"
Aaliyah frowned thoughtfully. "Yes, but no," She answered honestly, "Things have changed since I've been here. I've changed. People need to know exactly who I am, or at least who I want to be, and all the things that make me that way."
Xavier stared at her for a moment, and Aaliyah met his gaze holding it evenly, and she remembered how they stared at each other on Monday. They did a lot of that, as though they were both trying to read each other's minds and getting nowhere. "I think that's a strategic move," He replied, "Didn't think you were one for strategy. You're seem ruled by your emotions."
"Trust me, I am," She muttered, shaking her head, "But I'm learning that, that's not such a good thing in this industry."
Xavier shrugged. "I think things in this industry should change."
She opened her mouth to reply, though she wasn't sure what. Malcolm had saved her from most likely embarrassing herself when he called everyone to attention. She turned around to look at him standing in front of the sofa with Madison beside him, where Blair had been standing. Aaliyah realized she had disappeared, and she looked around the room and found no sign of her. Her heart tightened in worry, knowing that she probably wouldn't have been in the best state of mind with Maddox being here. Maybe she shouldn't have left her alone. Her gaze found the boy, and he was standing at the edge of the semi-circle formed around Malcolm and Madison, seeming slightly bored. He was standing by a staunch man she recognized from the board with lines edged into his face to express his age. His hair, a light brown was was threaded through with silver and his eyes seemed slightly faded. She supposed that that was his father.
"Well, the reason we are here tonight is finally here," Malcolm answered with a wide smile as he looked around the crowd, "It's eight so Madison's last single before her Sophomore album has been released around the world onto all streaming services." At that everyone clapped, or clinked their glasses together. Aaliyah smiled, clapping with the rest of the crowd, a weight lifting off her chest when it sank in that the whole world was going to hear her voice for the first time. Despite her anxiety, an uplifting sense of relief filled her stomach making her feel lighter.
"The whole world is going to know who you are Lia," Xavier murmured in her ear, "Are you ready?"